|Unless this is your marriage and your pregnancy, why would you care?
Obviously in an ideal world, both partners are honest with each other and on the same page with regards to reproduction. But unless you specify exact circumstances and fully understand the dynamics within that relationship, anyone else's opinion on someone's action is pretty well irrelevant.
|I think that's something they should have discussed before getting married, really. Children are a huge responsibility, and one should know whether the person they've chosen as their life partner shares their views on whether to take that responsibility or not.
If the husband wants children and his wife does not, he has no right to force her to bear them for him. He does not own her uterus, and even though it is his sperm that created the unborn child, he has no right to force her to carry the pregnancy to term against her will. It is the woman who must bear the pregnancy, who is at risk for the many different discomforts and conditions that could arise, and who must labor and deliver or go through a painful abdominal surgery. It is not the husband's right to force her to shoulder this simply because his sperm fertilized her egg.
|its still the woman's choice.
if the woman were not married and had an abortion, the boyfriend could have still wanted to have kept the child..why is it different for a married woman?
The question is for debate purposes. In your opinion is it right or wrong? No one is saying she should not have the right to abortion the question is does she have a right to keep that information to herself when it drastically and irreparably alters the future of another living breathing adult being? I think its just as wrong to keep an abortion away from your married partner when its his kid as it is for him to cheat with no condom and not tell you. Both are potential deal/marriage breakers and if you dont tell the other person you force them into staying in a situation they would never willingly be in.
|I think ideally, people should be aware of where their significant other stands on the subject of abortion and having children. Nobody is "trapped" in childlessness but plenty of people betray their spouses because they decide reproducing is more important to them than the one they entered a marriage into under the guise of "love".
I think that if a woman can't trust her spouse to tell him she's pregnant/wants to abort then there's something deeper wrong with the relationship than someone just changing their mind.
Nobody can tell the future and a lot of people enter a marriage under the assumption that there will be children...which is a mistake in itself even if BOTH parties want offspring. Most people don't even know they're infertile until they start trying to get pregnant.
Either they change their mind and start giving the other party ultimatums: "Agree to get pregnant/get me pregnant or this can't work!"
Or one of them finds out he/she is sterile and the other dumps them (I REALLY hate people that pull this crap) for another stud or broodmare.
It's equally repulsive when one spouse tries to get pregnant or impregnate the other on the sly without their consent. I consider that to be just a step below rape and in the case of the woman, the man is actually risking her health by trying to put her in a condition that puts a strain on her body.
People should always find out where their partners stand on the issue but there are cases where people change their mind one way or the other later on down the line. I would hope that when they claimed to love their spouse in their marriage vows, they meant it enough to stick it through and find a workable solution for everyone.
I think some people take the term wed"lock" a bit too literally, though. It's like the old joke about the "ball and chain".
|Agreed. If your point isn't about abortion but about keeping secrets, why post it in the Abortion Debate forum?
Should one person keep secrets from the other? My answer is no. My more detailed answer is that he/she shouldn't have to. If the woman is lying about having an abortion, that leads me to wonder "why?".
|What are your views on married women getting abortions as far as her relationship is concerned. WOuld it be fair for her to get an abortion without even telling her husband that she was pregnant or getting an abortion after telling she's pregnant but saying she miscarreied instead? In the instance that her husband wants children and she doesn't but never says anythign is it fair of her to lie to him and force him into a life without children with her?
Some married women do get abortions but ther eis no statistic on how often the husband knows about the abortion or whether an abortion would have been insta-divorce because the husband wants the kids and the wife doesn't but hasn't expressed that view with him at all.
|I've said a million times SOME PEOPLE SHOULD NEVER BE MOTHERS OR EXPERIENCE PREGNANCY.|
I bet you haven't!
But in case case, so what? Why is that relevant to discussing abortion? Most women who have abortions either already have children, or go on to have children later. Childlessness and abortion are only tangentially related.
This is what I was going to say, why would the abortion have to be to people without children. Maybe the wife doesn't feel she has the energy to care for another child, what is she's already at her wits end taking care of her pre-exiting children and the last thread of her mental sanity is about to snap. Her husband may not have any idea how stressing this is or maybe he just doesn't care.
I'll pose this question to you, this happened to a former co-worker of mine. She found out she was pregnant in her mid forties. All of her children were either in high school or college at that point. She had just reentered the work force and had begun picking up her career (she had been a stay at home mom for 23 years). She was really enjoying her new found freedom, when blam, a late life pregnancy. Her husband wasn't happy but wouldn't listen to her when she stated they should think about an abortion. At one point in their lives did they want children, yes and they had them. But he was in his early fifties and she was 44, besides the danger of a pregnancy at that age, the rate of birth defects goes though the roof. She ended up having an abortion behind his back when her blood pressure started to spike and she was only four months along. She told him she miscarried, I think he knows the truth, he heard the doctors warnings about how this pregnancy was very dangerous, but the lie was easier for him to believe. He could keep being pro-life and save face. Was it right in her case to lie, it makes it easier for everyone involved not to face the truth.
Not everything in life is so black and white, you need to start seeing the grey area.