I'm in a odd painful guilty situation. Its a long story but to put it short, a couple years ago before I met my husband I was in love with my best friend of the time, she said she felt the same..during one of my many mood swings I pushed her away..over and over...I was trying to protect her from me...but she couldnt handle it..and after one of the times she didnt come back...now a year after that I talked to her and we became friends again..sorta. we didnt hang out anymore, I hardly ever talked to her and I was lucky to get an e-mail reply.. We used to call each other every day if we werent at each others houses...

Anyways.

Its been 2 nearly 3 years. And I still do love her. and its painful because I'm married and happy, but I love two people and I feel wrong for doing so.

My problem is...I came across a thread on another fourm i'm on, they said to write a love letter you never can send..I wrote one. To her..Some of the people on the fourm advised me to send it saying I'd feel so much better having gotten it off my chest. They were wrong. I sent it and now I feel horrible..I didnt tell my husband and I know if he saw what I wrote he'd be hurt and upset...its not like i was begging for her back, I was simply stating how I felt, an that was that. No intentions of anything more. But still my husband wont see it that way.

I dont know what to do. I feel guilty for sending it, I feel guilty for loving two people, I feel guilty for not being able to leave the past in the past.. But I just miss her so much, I dont know how to explain it.