Medical Questions > Relationships > Relationships and Marriage Forum

Married Friend And Me

Hello,
I feel really stupid/silly to post this and I have no clue how to post it right but what the heck. Anyways, so I have this very good friend. I have known her since high school. We were like 4-5 friends always used to be together. Hanging out and having fun. She got married and now have two kids of above 10 years age . We weren't in touch because of job and all but until a year or so. So she invited me to her house and I met her houband and kids. All in all a good family.
The more I began to get in touch with her and the more I came to know she wasn't quite happy with her marriage. So as a friend, I started giving advice and support and told her everything will be alright. One day She told me she is not satisfied emotionally and sexually with her husband. She told me her husband and her sometimes don't have sex for like months. It was surprising but she told she tries but he seems always busy in work.

Then happened what shouldn't have happened at all. She asked me if I would like to do it with her. I used to like her in high school and she knew it but it was long time back. I never thought like that after all these years. I must have given her wrong signal or something i dunno. So I said that would be inappropriate and wrong couse I have a gf. I began to ignore her saying I am really busy in work and other stuff. In few friend's party i have seen her and it gets really uncomfortable. She calls and texts and i just say some random stuff and keep ignoring. I dunno what to say or do.

I think i just need help with my situation here. It is taking toll on me emotionally and I am unable to concentrate in my work. She is quite pretty and attractive. Some part of me says to do it and good part just ignores it. So far good part is dominating but i dunno that's why this post.... Give some suggestions man!! To be honest sometimes it feels to be thrilling and other i feel really guilty of even thinking that.
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replied July 10th, 2012
Okay, after it was obvious that you weren't going to do it and kind of stopped talking to her, did she apologize and say something like, "Oh forget it. I'm sorry I made you uncomfortable. Let's just go back to the way things were"? Or did she keep bothering you about having sex?

Regardless, you have to ask yourself if the sex is one time or a regular thing. Is she seeking a way out of her marriage? Does she want you to be a step-dad? If it's a regular thing than it's a relationship no matter what, however illicit. This is extreme drama no matter how secret it is. Two relationships are being disrupted - her and her husband (and kids!) and you and your girlfriend. No one involved is abusive or "deserving" of such cheating so it's all-around kind of unwarranted drama, know what I mean? You're not choosing to have this relationship with her out of extreme sympathy for her because of her abusive situation or the fact that she's almost homeless or whatever. It's just some sexual pleasure that she's seeking.

You have to wonder. A man's sex drive is VERY often stronger than a woman's, right? Why would her husband not want to have sex with her? Why would he be so unhappy and dissatisfied with her that he would choose not to get it on with his wife?

I don't think you really want the complications that this will bring. You'll feel guilty and everyone will probably find out, and then all hell will break loose.
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replied July 10th, 2012
Thanks for your comment Clarissa it helps a lot.

'I don't think you really want the complications that this will bring. You'll feel guilty and everyone will probably find out, and then all hell will break loose' I keep reminding myself that part. Thanks
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