|
mystery2008
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Mar 2008 Posts: 3
|
Married but Attracted to Women
Posted: 03-08-08 22:59pm
|
|
|
|
I am happily married though I am attracted
to some women. I recently told my husband
about my fooling around with another women
and he got upset. I think that since it
is with a women and I am upfront with this
that there shouldn't be a problem. Am I
wrong?
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
penpen
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Jan 2008 Posts: 56 Location: Minnesota,
|
Posted: 03-08-08 23:05pm
|
|
|
|
|
he's probably afraid he is going to lose
you.
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
mystery2008
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Mar 2008 Posts: 3
|
Posted: 03-08-08 23:07pm
|
|
|
|
|
I love my husband. I have told him that
but he still wants to get mad and says it
is like me cheating on him.
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
eguest4um
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Mar 2008 Posts: 3
|
It is cheating
Posted: 03-08-08 23:48pm
|
|
|
|
|
Uh, you are cheating on him. Let me tell
you the delightful story of a girlfriend
of mine that contracted crabs and blamed
me. It was a peculiar scenario because I
didn't have crabs, but she didn't believe
me. Fortunately, that's a pretty easy
thing to prove, visually. Where did she
get it? From her female roomate. I know
this is a shocking story and I suspect
your husband is just very confused, but
you should think about the many various
ways you may hurt your husband through
your actions. Imagine if you had to come
home and tell him to go get checked...for
anything.
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
antigone
Supporter
Joined: 27 Jan 2008 Posts: 960 Location: IL
Thanks: 48
Thanked:18
|
Posted: 03-09-08 14:31pm
|
|
|
|
|
I agree with eguest4um. When you give
yourself to another, male or female,
outside of your marriage it is cheating.
Some couples swing or have open marriages.
It does not sound like your husband is
thinking of having an open marriage with
you. He is threatened by your attraction
to someone else. Would you be threatened
by his attraction to another woman? You
love your husband. Let the other thing go.
You stand to ruin a good thing.
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
Willa Weintraub
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Mar 2007 Posts: 3399 Location: The Beach!
Thanks: 30
Thanked:46
|
Posted: 03-12-08 14:20pm
|
|
|
|
|
Yes, your wrong. CHeating is cheating if
it's with a guyy or a girl. How would you
feel if he just up and did some guy in the
butt? And came to you and thought it was
no biggie and you shouldn't be mad? I'm
sure you would be.
|
|
|
|
|
 |
illustriously fickle
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Feb 2008 Posts: 221
Thanks: 9
Thanked:0
|
Posted: 03-12-08 15:59pm
|
|
|
|
|
I think we're talking about emotional
betrayal here, which is not gender
specific. Have you considered including
him in sex with other women?
|
|
|
|
|
 |
Georgia59
Moderator
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5557 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 90
Thanked:32
|
Posted: 03-12-08 17:47pm
|
|
|
|
|
I agree- cheating is not gender specific.
|
|
|
|
|
 |
Shannashaine
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Feb 2008 Posts: 106 Location: , United States
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
|
in reply.
Posted: 03-13-08 02:20am
|
|
|
|
|
I think you are wrong for cheating on your
husband. Cheating is considered any sexual
contact with another person. Your husband
probably feels like there is a chance that
he will lose you to another woman. I think
that you should be devoted to your
husband. Also just remember that your
marriage is way more important than some
random fling with another woman.
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
Willa Weintraub
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Mar 2007 Posts: 3399 Location: The Beach!
Thanks: 30
Thanked:46
|
Posted: 03-13-08 08:10am
|
|
|
|
|
| illustriously fickle
wrote: | | I think we're talking about
emotional betrayal here, which is not
gender specific. Have you considered
including him in sex with other
women? |
I don't think includin
him is the point. I think he was very
hr\urt that she cheated on him and since
she did he may be more uncomfortable doing
your above suggestion. . .Or it may make
him happy Lol
|
|
|
|
|
 |
yogahoneybunny
Supporter
Joined: 04 Jan 2006 Posts: 886 Location: Strumica, Macedonia
Thanks: 5
Thanked:0
|
Posted: 03-14-08 10:33am
|
|
|
|
|
Mystery --- any reaction to the posts
above?
|
|
|
|
|
 |
poisonangel168
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Dec 2007 Posts: 32 Location: High Ridge, MO, USA
|
Posted: 03-14-08 11:01am
|
|
|
|
|
As a bisexual woman, I completely
understand where you are coming from. I
am naturally attacted to and want sexual
attention from both sexes, peiord.
Fortunately, I have been able to find
partners who don't view this as cheating.
I can't be with a man who isn't ok with me
being with women occasionaly, but in my
experience having a bisexual girlfriend is
a turn-on for most men and not a problem.
Your situation is a little different
because you are married to someone who
does not support it. If having relations
with women is very important to you, you
should not have to give it up, but it is
best for your husband to be comfortable
with it. Perhaps you will be able to find
a way to make him see this differently. I
personaly believe that all humans (and
other animals) are naturally attracted to
both sexes, but they are often taught to
be heterosexual by their family and
society. I see your actions as natural
and instinctive. Hopefully you can find a
happy medium that suits everyone involved.
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
Willa Weintraub
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Mar 2007 Posts: 3399 Location: The Beach!
Thanks: 30
Thanked:46
|
Posted: 03-14-08 11:13am
|
|
|
|
|
If she knew she felt that was though,
maybe she should not have gotten married
or talked to hm about it before hand.
|
|
|
|
|
 |
poisonangel168
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Dec 2007 Posts: 32 Location: High Ridge, MO, USA
|
Posted: 03-14-08 11:23am
|
|
|
|
|
Often, people don't realize they are
attracted to the same sex until they are
older. I realized that I liked both sexes
when I was 15. If mystery2008 knew that
she was attracted to females and wanted to
"fool around" with them, she should have
told her husband prior to marriage, but
perhaps this is not the case. I'm not
here to judge, only offer my
opinion/advice.
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
Willa Weintraub
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Mar 2007 Posts: 3399 Location: The Beach!
Thanks: 30
Thanked:46
|
Posted: 03-14-08 11:31am
|
|
|
|
|
I understand. I'm just looking at it as
cheating, no matter what the situation and
I just don't think it's right. He has
right to feel sad about it.
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
mystery2008
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Mar 2008 Posts: 3
|
Posted: 03-20-08 14:47pm
|
|
|
|
|
Thanks for all the response. Especially
Angelpoison. I have recently discussed
this further with my husband and it seems
that he was more upset that he wasn't
involved than the fact that I did
anything. I had told my husband about
some of my feelings about this attraction
(not lengthy disscusion). I have known my
husband for a long time and I did not have
these feelings before we got married. If
this is gonna cause tension in my
marriage, I will not act on these
feelings.
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12985
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
|
Posted: 03-20-08 17:26pm
|
|
|
|
|
I definitely consider it cheating too;
gender doesn't matter. You shouldn't act
on these feelings, period, because if you
were feeling attraction to another male
you wouldn't act, would you? Of course
not; that's cheating. So is messing around
with another female.
|
|
|
|
|
 |
Georgia59
Moderator
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5557 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 90
Thanked:32
|
Posted: 03-20-08 21:03pm
|
|
|
|
|
Well, the thing is, I find myself
attracted to other men at times, yeah. But
I am married, so I don't ever act on them.
It seems to me that it is the same thing,
even though it's a woman.
It seems like your husband was fairly
understanding of your situation though,
and I can understand why this situation
wouldn't have been as clear.
|
|
|
|
|