Married but Attracted to Women

he's probably afraid he is going to lose you.

I love my husband. I have told him that but he still wants to get mad and says it is like me cheating on him.

Uh, you are cheating on him. Let me tell you the delightful story of a girlfriend of mine that contracted crabs and blamed me. It was a peculiar scenario because I didn't have crabs, but she didn't believe me. Fortunately, that's a pretty easy thing to prove, visually. Where did she get it? From her female roomate. I know this is a shocking story and I suspect your husband is just very confused, but you should think about the many various ways you may hurt your husband through your actions. Imagine if you had to come home and tell him to go get checked...for anything.

I agree with eguest4um. When you give yourself to another, male or female, outside of your marriage it is cheating. Some couples swing or have open marriages. It does not sound like your husband is thinking of having an open marriage with you. He is threatened by your attraction to someone else. Would you be threatened by his attraction to another woman? You love your husband. Let the other thing go. You stand to ruin a good thing.

Yes, your wrong. CHeating is cheating if it's with a guyy or a girl. How would you feel if he just up and did some guy in the butt? And came to you and thought it was no biggie and you shouldn't be mad? I'm sure you would be.

I think we're talking about emotional betrayal here, which is not gender specific. Have you considered including him in sex with other women?

I agree- cheating is not gender specific.

I think you are wrong for cheating on your husband. Cheating is considered any sexual contact with another person. Your husband probably feels like there is a chance that he will lose you to another woman. I think that you should be devoted to your husband. Also just remember that your marriage is way more important than some random fling with another woman.

Mystery --- any reaction to the posts above?

As a bisexual woman, I completely understand where you are coming from. I am naturally attacted to and want sexual attention from both sexes, peiord. Fortunately, I have been able to find partners who don't view this as cheating. I can't be with a man who isn't ok with me being with women occasionaly, but in my experience having a bisexual girlfriend is a turn-on for most men and not a problem. Your situation is a little different because you are married to someone who does not support it. If having relations with women is very important to you, you should not have to give it up, but it is best for your husband to be comfortable with it. Perhaps you will be able to find a way to make him see this differently. I personaly believe that all humans (and other animals) are naturally attracted to both sexes, but they are often taught to be heterosexual by their family and society. I see your actions as natural and instinctive. Hopefully you can find a happy medium that suits everyone involved.

If she knew she felt that was though, maybe she should not have gotten married or talked to hm about it before hand.

Often, people don't realize they are attracted to the same sex until they are older. I realized that I liked both sexes when I was 15. If mystery2008 knew that she was attracted to females and wanted to "fool around" with them, she should have told her husband prior to marriage, but perhaps this is not the case. I'm not here to judge, only offer my opinion/advice.

I understand. I'm just looking at it as cheating, no matter what the situation and I just don't think it's right. He has right to feel sad about it.

Thanks for all the response. Especially Angelpoison. I have recently discussed this further with my husband and it seems that he was more upset that he wasn't involved than the fact that I did anything. I had told my husband about some of my feelings about this attraction (not lengthy disscusion). I have known my husband for a long time and I did not have these feelings before we got married. If this is gonna cause tension in my marriage, I will not act on these feelings.

I definitely consider it cheating too; gender doesn't matter. You shouldn't act on these feelings, period, because if you were feeling attraction to another male you wouldn't act, would you? Of course not; that's cheating. So is messing around with another female.

Well, the thing is, I find myself attracted to other men at times, yeah. But I am married, so I don't ever act on them. It seems to me that it is the same thing, even though it's a woman.

It seems like your husband was fairly understanding of your situation though, and I can understand why this situation wouldn't have been as clear.