I (23) have been married for over a year now; My husband (37) has been suffering from ED for about two years. The doctors claim it is caused by a dammaged nerve as the result of a botched hernia surgery and few years ago. It appears we have exhausted all of our options except surgery.
Our marraige has suffered greatly. While I know that there is something physically wrong, I cant help but feel rejected almost everynight. We were not able to have sex on our wedding night. The doctor gave him Viagra; he refuses to take it on a regular basis. And now, he has procrastinated for weeks on the surgery. He is afraid it will do more dammage than good.
It has come to me picking fights over nothing- HUGE fights that end with me crying my eyes out trying to convince myself that he doesnt love me. I think that if he didnt love me it would allow me to give up. But I know he does; and I love him too. I just cant fix this problem for us. I am used to being able to fix the problems. I feel like I have no contol over this situation. I just want it to be better. It has been so long, and I just dont know what to do.
What's wrong with his fingers and his tongue?? It really seems like you're throwing in the towel over nothing. If your husband is shutting down over erection difficulty have a sit down with him and explain that there are needs you need his help in taking care of and if he isn't taking care of business it makes thing very unhappy in the marriage. Emphasize that you're not interested in being in a marriage where neither of you are happy. Tell him you want to start talking about how you can work together to take care of those needs because you love him and want your marriage to work.
I've read one article that says: "The power tool to make a woman satisfy in bed is between your ears and not between your legs..." and I agree with it. HAving sexual satisfaction has many ways. You can also check some sex toys if that's okay with both of you. Try to research about kama sutra. Talk and be more open to each other. Telling how you feel when he does something to you. Or suggest something which he can do that gives more pleasure to you and for him too.
Sexual satisfaction is not really a big question, however you are married and if you want to conceive, then it would be a little difficult. If the VIAGRA works on him then you can try it sometime but I understand if he doesn't want to take it on a regular basis. Viagra has side effects too and may be harmful for him. I agree with WOLF. You both must sit and talk it out. Come up with a better solution. If you will be planning for a surgery tehn find the best surgeon in your place. If you are really concerned about this and serious of having his errection again.