I was with my husband for six years before we married. We actually got married on our six year anniversary.

You can absolutely have love and commitment without marriage, and I support couples that choose not to marry 100%. My husband and I spent six wonderful years getting to know each other, hammering out the kinks in our relationship, and working out what our life goals are and whether we were compatible with each other. We decided that marriage was for us, and we've never regretted it.

I do not personally believe that our marriage certificate validates our relationship. Our relationship was validated long before we walked into that church. When people ask us how long we've been married, I tell them "Four, but we've been together for ten".

We wanted to get married because it was our choice. We wanted to take that next step together, become bonded together in the eyes of the church, the public, and our friends and family. We made official what had already been for six years, and we did so because we wanted to. We've raised a beautiful daughter within this marriage and are expecting another child in December, we're in the process of buying a home, and are very much looking forward to the rest of our lives together as a family.

Again, I completely support people who don't feel marriage is for them. I always recommend that my friends live with their partners before marrying them and taking their time to make sure they're compatible and share life goals. And I respect people's opinions when they say that marriage is just a piece of paper. To me it is much more than that, but I'm not sure that I can put words to what it means to me and do it any kind of justice.

I think people should live how they feel is right for them and do what makes them happy.

I am pro-marriage. That's the end of my debate. If you love someone, why NOT marry them? I consider it a foolish rebellion to not do so. I think about the gay couples all around America and the world fighting for their right to get married, and then see others who have the right either spit on it, kind of like you, or ruin it, like those who marry and divorce without even trying.

A marriage license (that is, permission to commit to someone) is like adding a third person into your relationship: The Government.

It's a personal choice, though, and so be it.

I want to get married because I want my union to be blessed by God. Problem is my partner isn't religious and sees weddings as an extravagant expense. I think he has seen too many of those Bridezilla shows. I would marry him with just the two of us and a priest but we both have huge families that love a good party and would be offended if we didn't invite all of them. So we are waiting until we can afford it without going into debt. As in all relationships, compromise has to play a part.

If two consenting people want to get married then so be it but why should someone be forced to get married when they have the exact same type of relationship, what is the difference between a marriage and a relationship?

What about the people who dont want to get married and are pushed into it or arranged with that person from birth can you really love them?

I feel the same way. I see no reason why I need a sheet of paper or a ring to prove I love someone. I've told DBF that if we ever start to think seriously about marriage (and if he thinks I am more important than potential babies), that marriage is not a necessity. If he wanted to get married, I would be okay with it, but I would also be totally content if he wanted to not get married. In my cae, I am sort of hoping against marriage because I have established myself in my job field with my current name and if I take his surname in marriage, I'll have to start over at square one. And anyone who has ever done any serious work in the field of art knows how hard it is to get your foot in the door.

Also, not marrying has its upsides - in the event the couple wants to break up, all they need to do is walk away. In marriage, there is an entire legal process, alimony and a bunch of other stuff and it can take a long time for divorces to come through...and in some cases, one spouse may not agree to the divorce and the two people are thus stuck together.

I'm not saying marriage is bad, but it also isn't the bowl of cherries many people think it is. Both people definitely need to be committed to one another through thick and thin to make a marriage work. Marriage is sort of a double-edged sword - to some people it is a wonderful, blessed bond - to others, it's like imprisonment without a cage.

Really? Me & my husband were married on our 7 year anniversary

No one forces anyone to get married these days (normally, and we are not discussing the exceptions). However, if you want the governmental benefits, you need to call that "state of togetherness" SOMETHING, and that word in english happens to be MARRIED.

I am an artist and if I got married I probably wouldn't change my surname. You don't have to take your spouses name when you get married.

Yep ^^ Many people hyphenate these days.

I just learned something weird though. I'd always assumed that if the couple hyphenated, they BOTH did it!! Apparently, only the woman does so. I think that's kinda silly... they should both do it in my opinion. The whole point is so the woman retains her identity but ALSO signifies her union with the husband, so why wouldn't he change his name too? Plus if you don't both have the same last name, what do you name the kids? Having the same last name is one of the symbols of a FAMILY in my opinion.

The men can choose to do it, they usually don't choose to hyphenate though.

I happen to like my husband's name and am really proud that I can wear it. (cue 50's housewife music).

I know three couples in which the hyphenated name is taken by both individuals.

i know one couple where they both hyphenated. i wouldn't hyphenate, just keep my own name. my daughter has her dad's last name though (alas.)

I've always wanted to be married, which is why I was engaged when I was 15 (he left me when I was 17).

My husband and I got married 19 months after we got together and I was 8 months pregnant (although you couldn't tell by looking). Ever since we got together we pretty much knew we were going to be married. He asked me after the first weekend. We didn't have anything elaborate, just spent $22 and 20 minutes in front of a judge.

The main reason I wanted to be married so that I could be a Mrs. Without that paper, I'm considered single, and I never liked that. And now that I have a daughter, she has his last name as well.

the only reason i would really get married to my boyfriend is if we decided we want children becuz if we didnt people would look down on us...like it was an accident. thats just how society has shaped things.sad

Bad reason to get married, IMHO. When considering major life changes like having children and getting married, what other people think should be irrelevant.

Marriage should be done because you believe in it, you want to enhance your relationship etc, other than that Im not to fond of it........

I dont dislike marriage but I dont like some of the reasons, people get married for.

well said,this is why i wish to get married as well, it isn't necessarily about the paper its about standing before God and our family and friends to make a promise to each other, the paper is just more or less proof i guess haha...also, killbill i watch bridezillas every sunday! I LOVE that show, i think its absolutely hilarious, some of the women are nuts but i love it hahaha, i hope i dont turn into a bridezilla haha also, smart decision on waiting for the cash..i think for a couple to jump into an expensive marriage and start their relationship out in debt thinking love will solve all problems has got somethin comin to'em...why do you wanna rush?theres plenty of time to get married especially when you both already know you wish to spend enternity together...i met a guy a work that basically said if he dates a girl a year he's ready to marry her...shoot not me..i'm still in college, have been with my bf for 2 1/2 years now and even if he proposed now neither of us would be ready for marriage for at least another 2-3 years and we've both been up front about taking our time

coming from a religious point of view, many believe the marriage validates the relationship and many believe to remain abstinent before marriage, standing before God and those you love to promise yourself to this one person for the rest of your life is just something special..it isn't the piece of paper..the paper goes with it yes but its the whole process