marital woes

Hi all, well.....my wife and I have been in marriage counseling for over three years. It is entirely because she was raised by an ultra-domineering mother. From what I can piece together from other family members, the mother-in-law has always been enabled--she has thrown violent tantrums and been physically and mentally abusive to all of that family at one time or another. My wife and her sister seemed to have adopted a policy of ignoring her behavior. I was never one to back down...and three+ years ago she called me stupid, I didn't back down(I calmy asked her why she lash out like that) and she eventually pulled out a shotgun on me(we were at her farm). That is how we ended up in marriage counseling, my wife refused to leave the farm with me and our daughter. I told my wife that we would start seeing a marriage counselor or our marriage would be over. We had slowly made incremental progress with the in-law, setting boundaries of behavior and conduct. The in-law passed away last Feb., and I started feeling anger and resentment that I suppose i had suppressed(there were many, many more instances of my wife remaining 'loyal' to her mother--every time she admitted that her mother's behavior was unacceptable--but it was her mom). it caused some emotional distance between my wife and I. Four months ago she angrily demanded more affection from me at a counseling session and I told her then that i would need time and space to get over my resentment. last week she announced that she had had an erotic dream, in which a local politician had asked her out. She told me that in her dream, " she was so happy to be able to go and tell her mother that she was dating an accomplished man". She then added that in this dream, " as he asked her out, she was pressed against him and she could feel that he was hung"...i have been crushed since this happened and have talked to her about my hurt feelings....whatever affection i had remaining for my wife is not there right now......what do i do? what do you make of this? she admits she lashed out and was intending to hurt me