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Marijuana user can't maintian erection

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I love him so much. We have been dating for 6 months. He is a heavy marijuana user for over 20 years. He has such a hard time maintaining an erection forget about it being hard enough to feel. It's good for a few minutes and then it goes limp. He is too much of an hard head to go to the urologist or to stop smoking for that matter. I'm very sensitve, so he doesn't know how frustrating this is. I enjoy making love to him when it works. I know he's sensitive about this topic because we refer to his penis in the "3rd" person. Also, he's had previous insults from former girlfriends. So, I'm careful not to say to much. He's not willing to go to the Doctor. I'm at my wits end. What can I do to help. He's 42 years old, hard working, but stubborn as hell.
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First Helper DickandJane
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replied August 31st, 2009
Community Volunteer
Actually he is not stubborn, but pretty hooked on pot...Enough that making love comes in second...Until he is ready to put this mind altering buzz where it belongs, you are talking to yourself...Even then he will have to learn a new person...Believe me, I sympathize with you...It is the filling of man that completes a woman...Has he tried Viagra or any other erectile help medication?......

Caroline
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replied October 19th, 2009
My boyfriend of 6 years has smoke marijuana for approx 20 years. He had occasional issues with maintaining an erection when we first started dating and it has gotten worse. I've had long term relationships with other men prior to my current boyfriend and was always a nympho with them. I started out this way with current also but quickly realized that once a day was all he could handle. It is incredibly frustrating and it really bothers me. I cannot help but think it's me. He says it isn't but... I don't feel sexy when he goes soft. He quick smoking marijuana approx 6 weeks ago and... we have had sex only 3 times in those 6 weeks. The first time, (a few days after he quit), it did not go well at all. The second time, (week number 3) it was better, but could have been harder. The 3rd time was 2 days ago and it was good but... still could have been better. So... I'm seeing gradual improvement and hope that very soon I will have the kind of sex life with him that I have had with other men in the past. My best friend has the same issues with her husband who has smoked marijuana for approx 25 years and she is dealing with the same frustration, embarrassment and hurt that I am. You really need to talk with him about it because it will only get in between you. You have to be able to talk openly and he needs to know how it makes you feel. Before I finally said anything to my boyfriend, I had gotten to the point that sometimes I would go in the bathroom and cry after sex. Very early in our relationship I learned that if I waited about 2 weeks in between having sex it would turn out better.
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replied November 6th, 2010
I am 20 years old, male and have been using marijuana for recreational purpose for 6 months now, and i feel a little addicted now. I have not yet experienced any kind of sexual problems yet. Sometimes i feel a little pain in my testicles, and sometimes my erection feels weak. But normally I am quite OK with it. But reading about the effects on manhood makes me concerned a bit about it. I may think of quitting it now
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replied November 21st, 2010
I would quit if I were you and never touch it again. I am 24 now, and smoked heavily between like 14 and 18. During those years I slept with many girls like a total nympho. When I was 18 my libido suddenly quit on me and I quit marijuana. It never recovered fully, since then Im lucky to have sex once a day. Whenever I smoke it makes it worse. I've been suicidal since. When I was 19 a spermogram revealed a low sperm count, low morphology, etc. The doctors don't even think marijuana caused it but whenever I smoke it the pain in my testicles reminds me that it did.

If you've ever heard of phantom limb syndrome, that's how I feel towards my organ, and this might help you women understand what you guy is going through (I suggest looking it up). Basically, I know I'm the same person,I'm still addicted to sex, love women, and am mentally the same, but my penis is hardly there. I feel like I can't express who I am sexually to women I'm with, and this eats me alive.

In addition to low sperm count my penis has some hard veins on it, and burns often when I get erections. My girl of many years left me a few months ago. I'm like at the end of wits and want to die.

Basically , I have not smoked regularly for 6 years and the last time I even touched it was 2 years ago. The problems I face however have not gotten any better at all.
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replied July 16th, 2011
see my post.. you should quit smoking or deal with it for the rest of your life
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replied December 20th, 2010
I doubt it has to do with the pot although the chemicals can effect everybody differently. My husband smokes pot a lot and I have to say he has NO trouble getting it up. Smile
He may want to get checked for erectile dysfunction.

Erectile Dysfunction In Young Men: Causes
The male anatomy involved in sexual arousal, is a complex system. It involves the brain, hormones, emotions and any kind of malfunctions in any of these systems can harm the delicate balance between their working and cause erectile dysfunction. Factors that are responsible for causing erectile dysfunction do not necessarily have to bear a psychological nature. There are causes which may have their source in certain medical conditions and side-effects of medications.

Erectile dysfunction in young men and men falling in any age group may be caused by heart diseases, atherosclerosis (a stage of arteriosclerosis involving fatty deposits (atheromas) inside the arterial walls, thus, narrowing the arteries), high blood pressure, diabetes, obesity and sometimes metabolic syndrome. Apart from these, erectile dysfunction in young men (and others) may also be the outcome of the usage of certain medications, tobacco, alcohol or drug abuse, Parkinson's disease and multiple sclerosis.

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replied July 16th, 2011
Well, I have to say, from a medical standpoint and from being with my boyfriend now who is a heavy pot smoker.. he is 47 and has smoked since high school. He has told me of complaints with the same thing..pain in testicles with erection, etc. He, too, has problems with ED and does take viagra. It helps most of the time.. but when he runs out, we don't have sex because of him.. He has issues with not being able to get hard, and I pushed the issue one time and he got aggravated with himself. He did go to urologist, and they told him it was some other "disease" process that caused his pain, and the ED medication helped with the ED and with his "disease". But, I am a nurse and I know that the disease he told me is not treated that way.. so somebody blew smoke up his butt,.. in a matter of speaking. but I believe that he truly believes that is his problem. Anyway, I suggest either living with it, or stop smoking.
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replied July 28th, 2011
my story
This is not an answer to your question, but perhaps some insight.

I'm a 20 year old male (a lot younger than all the other subjects) and am heavily addicted to Marijuana. I have a partner and suffer from severe erectile dysfunction. An erection will last for 3 - 5 minutes and then it will return to a completely placid state, and there's no getting it back again.

Erectile dysfunction for any male, regardless of age, is a massive burden for us. Not only do we carry the guilt of not being able to please our partner but we can't offload all the testosterone built up in the brain. Quite often I would storm out of the bedroom in anger or have an outburst with her in the bed. By outburst I mean punching walls and a lot of carry on. None of its nice so approach your partner with caution if you wish to discuss it with him.

The reason as to why we can't keep our erection is because when you smoke heavy dope, 20 - 30 cones a day, it becomes almost impossible to keep concentrated. Which you shouldn't have to in sex but Marijuana causes the brain to over think, hence anxiety and depression being a symptom of heavy dope usage. Once the brain is locked into thinking about something else, the erection goes and its too late to get it back.

Please note: this is NOT the woman's fault! Many women see the man loosing his erection as a fault on their behalf, but its not the case. It all in the man's head.

Today I quit for my partner and if there isn't an improvement in 7 days, i will try viagra.

A tip to keeping your man hard; give him oral sex or use your hand. When the man can see his penis, it's far easier to keep the erection. Why? Because during sex when the penis is in the woman and out of sights way, the mind is reliant only on feel and thus the brain is more likely to wander. Engage ALL the senses you can, sight being a big one.

If you man looses his hard-on during sex, get him to go down on your (if he enjoys it). Engaging the taste receptors should make him hard again.

Hope this was some help. I'll wrap it up with - erectile dysfunction is fu***d. I prefer to make love to my partner than be stoned. If he loves you and wants to express it, he should quit the green stuff.
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replied April 14th, 2012
Bad erections take it from someone who has had the worst
Listen..

It's reversable, well for me it was. I was a user since 16 and became a daily user at 21-22. Smoking the leaf, ocassional cigars, and cloves at times. Always been able to get the boner for the ladies. Until recently around 23 I wasn't able to get it up. You guys who know what im talking about its the worst feeling ever Sad makes your girl feel bad about herself too which to me was the worst part. If you don't try eveything you can to avoid her feeling bad you are selfish. Heres what I did and now my bs are like I was 18 again.

I stopped smoking anything period. rather have my boners than the high I got. I changed my diet, always been in good shape but when i was ripped i would eat crap like a pint of ben and jerry's. Changed my diet to exclude fats more vegetables and no red meat.

Also started doing more cardio, crossfit to be exact and a practice called bikram yoga.. Its yoga in a heated room which works to increase the blood circulation to all parts of your body including your penis.. keep in mind right after class you wont be able to get an erection.. but give your self a couple hours or the next day and its boner popping time. You can tell when your erections suck when your not getting morning wood anymore. I wasnt when I was smoking and not eating as well. Now i can put my morning wood though a steel door, let alone a soft and wet well... you know Smile It took about a month of dedication to really see some results and in that month i did cheat on my diet. but its not just smoking guys its your entire lifestyle it you want great erections you gotta live right...
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replied May 7th, 2012
My husband and I both smoke pot, and our sex life has gone seriously downhill since we got together. Our pot intake has increased alot too. we used to "do it" 3 times a day-ish, now we may have o.k. sex once a month. He has a really hard time getting fully hard, or for more than a few min. I found I was loosing interest too, so I stopped for 4 months, enough to clean it out of my system and see what effects it had on me. I got my energy and ambition back, and my anxiety about alot of issues went out the door. I also got really horny again (by 4 months, not right away) but my husband uses marijuana medically for digestive problems, but also recreationally. We got a vaporizer so we could be more healthy about it, but he still smokes all the time.
I started smoking again, mostly because he wont stop, and I feel like a slave to my addictions again. I can't give him a hand job or head because he's too sensitive about the ED to let me touch it. I feel so ugly. The anxiety makes me not want to eat, and that and that makes me feel worse. I want us to both stop so bad, but I think we may have to separate. He likes getting high more than he likes me, and now that he's started drinking to cope with his mood fluctuations, I can't get through to him. I don't think pot is bad, but anything used too much is a problem. I don't want to throw away a 9 year relationship, but I don't feel like I'm important enough for him to stop. Or get help. FML
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replied May 7th, 2012
My husband and I both smoke pot, and our sex life has gone seriously downhill since we got together. Our pot intake has increased alot too. we used to "do it" 3 times a day-ish, now we may have o.k. sex once a month. He has a really hard time getting fully hard, or for more than a few min. I found I was loosing interest too, so I stopped for 4 months, enough to clean it out of my system and see what effects it had on me. I got my energy and ambition back, and my anxiety about alot of issues went out the door. I also got really horny again (by 4 months, not right away) but my husband uses marijuana medically for digestive problems, but also recreationally. We got a vaporizer so we could be more healthy about it, but he still smokes all the time.
I started smoking again, mostly because he wont stop, and I feel like a slave to my addictions again. I can't give him a hand job or head because he's too sensitive about the ED to let me touch it. I feel so ugly. The anxiety makes me not want to eat, and that and that makes me feel worse. I want us to both stop so bad, but I think we may have to separate. He likes getting high more than he likes me, and now that he's started drinking to cope with his mood fluctuations, I can't get through to him. I don't think pot is bad, but anything used too much is a problem. I don't want to throw away a 9 year relationship, but I don't feel like I'm important enough for him to stop. Or get help. FML
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replied May 7th, 2012
My husband and I both smoke pot, and our sex life has gone seriously downhill since we got together. Our pot intake has increased alot too. we used to "do it" 3 times a day-ish, now we may have o.k. sex once a month. He has a really hard time getting fully hard, or for more than a few min. I found I was loosing interest too, so I stopped for 4 months, enough to clean it out of my system and see what effects it had on me. I got my energy and ambition back, and my anxiety about alot of issues went out the door. I also got really horny again (by 4 months, not right away) but my husband uses marijuana medically for digestive problems, but also recreationally. We got a vaporizer so we could be more healthy about it, but he still smokes all the time.
I started smoking again, mostly because he wont stop, and I feel like a slave to my addictions again. I can't give him a hand job or head because he's too sensitive about the ED to let me touch it. I feel so ugly. The anxiety makes me not want to eat, and that and that makes me feel worse. I want us to both stop so bad, but I think we may have to separate. He likes getting high more than he likes me, and now that he's started drinking to cope with his mood fluctuations, I can't get through to him. I don't think pot is bad, but anything used too much is a problem. I don't want to throw away a 9 year relationship, but I don't feel like I'm important enough for him to stop. Or get help. FML
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replied June 25th, 2012
thanx for sharing!
it has been sooooo helpful to read these stories from people...I have been pulling my hair out for over 3 years trying to get my bf to do something about his not-so-stiff member....and he won't face it...I've been patient, I've cried, I've tried talking maturely. But he doesn't want to hear it. He says that i don't love him if I don't love him that way. I feel too young to be limited to not ever having sex more than once a day and Always having to 'get him started'...it hurts a girls feelings after a while. He has been a big toker for more than 10 years but he isn't even 40 yet! But many people have said that the smoking wouldn't do it...so i have just been confused. Other than the marijuana he is really healthy...he is a doctor for god's sake! Sadly, I think MaryJane is more important than me because we are finally breaking up over this...well, thanx again for your stories...it helps me make sense out of this very 'hard' situation.
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replied July 14th, 2012
restricted words in text? sorry can't figure which ones Very Happy

it's a messy post, but read it, you really mind find out something useful.

to be honest you all got to look up for other reasons.
really! ganja isn't causing that. on the other hand smoke could. for example many people (here in Europe, practically everyone) smoke it with tobacco, and as tobacco can cause erectile disfunction for sure. but I bet problem is psychological (if it's with young people). do a simple test, don't smoke for one day, or just be compleatly sober, than drink few glasses of wine (or anything that lowers inhibition and doesn't affect erection) or something and start slowly. This is not a solution for the problem but you can start to build from there (how? go figure it out alone, meditate, do yoga, relax, self - medicate, build your body, gain confidence, eat healthy, do pelvic exercise etc.)...

I wrote this cuz I also (mostly) had same problem... couldn't get it up with very nice girl. i was nervous, maybe smoking cigs which I usually don't do made it worse etc.... But than situation with my gf got bad too (i don't cheat her, she's might be having sex with some dude as we speak xD), was having problem getting it up and keeping it that way.... you got it? Most man make hugeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee problem out of stuff like that and will keep thinking about it... and anxiety and sex don't combine.. my problems gradually (yet quite fast as i also first thought of it as disaster) disrepair as anxiety lowers and i focused on some issues that might caused that... bla, bla.. .you'll find your solution.

viagra and people who stop smoking but situation stays same are also evidence it's not caused by ganja (at least not directly)... I bet all those people are masturbating and than don't have problems cuz they are not anxious when they do it.

i could write bunch more about it but i guess you got the point.
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replied July 24th, 2012
How to chane our sex life with my pot user husband????
Hi all

I m married over 6 years my husband is a heavy pot smoker we always had sexual problems ( 2 yrs we couldnt make love cos he d go softer than we starteddoing it only 1 position- doggy style- which would last less than a minute) we tired to have fun by using toys watching porn together or dressing up but notalot changed i suggested we should go to a sex adviser but he refused angrily blaming me for not being a woman enough;(( we d lots of arguments and now ihave given up!!!! He spends most of his time in front of tv playing games and smoking

How can i make him keep his erection longer and maybe suggest a different position during sex??? He s not interested in giving me oral sex but happy for me giving him one and before we can start having sex he ll come need ur advises thnks a lot in advance.
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replied November 18th, 2012
horny goat weed
Go buy some horny goat weed supplement at a natural health food store in your area. it has worked for me. it's a natural aphrodisiac. make sure it says at least 20% icariin content when u look at the incariin content on the supplement bottle. 10% icariin is the standard, it works, but slower and you have to take a lot more per day than it actually says to on the bottle.
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