A month ago I was diagnosed with Bi-Polar I and put on Lithium. I also take Adderral to keep my energy up throughout the day and take ativan as needed.
It's been about 11 months since I've stopped self medicating with Marijuana. Prior to those 11 months, I had been self-medicating with Marijuana for about 2 years, on an almost daily basis. Now these past 11 months, I smoke on occasion and recreationally...usually averaging about 3-5 times a month, sometimes less.
I grow more angry and frustrated everyday at my traditional psychiatrist and my parents. I also get angry at our government for letting politics get in the way of needed unbiased research into Marijuana's effects on certain mental conditions, such as Bi-Polar disorder.
Iâm paying so much money on these medications, as well as weekly visits to the shrink. Heâs given 7 different kinds of medications in the last six months before finally settling on Lithium and the Bi-Polar diagnosis. Nothing heâs given me in terms of medications has really worked in calming me down the way Marijuana has. This includes the feelings of grounded-ness, a sense of ease and calm, as well as calmer thinking patterns.
My Psy doesnât know what to do with me half the time. He doesnât know why my mind was so medication resistant, hence needing to try 7 different medications. One possible explanation is because of the weed that I still occasionally smoked. But in one session I specifically asked him, if I smoke weed, 1 once a week and only once a week, will that affect my treatment and interfere with the medication Iâm taking? He said no.
For the sake of staying in my house, my parents threatened to kick me out of the house for good if they catch me smoking weed again, Iâve decided to give up weed for the foreseeable future, completely, which means not even once in a while for recreational purposes.
I want to be optimistic and say that the meds will put me in a better mental state and control my moods in a safe and effective wayâ¦â¦ but I hate to think that when future research comes out that MAY prove that smoking some weed IS much more effective and less toxic to the bodies than all previous traditional prescription meds, I hate to think of all the time wasted in believing in âtraditional medicineâ, but then again ⦠I could be wrongâ¦. I donât know who or which side to believe in anymore.