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Male bulimia

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I'm 24 years old and have been suffering from bulimia for 10 years. It started when I was 14 years of age. I remember actually making the decision to start throwing up all my food once consumed. I was quite a big kid - I use to get bullied for my size. I remember having to weigh myself on the scales at school one day for physical education class and the scales showed that I weighed 84kg's. I was the second heaviest in the class. I then went on my own little diet which started off with purging my dinner every night. Purging then increased to dinner and lunch - breakfast wasn't an issue, I never ate it... Purging combined with litres of water per day. Water made me less hungry and feel bloated so it seemed to work for me. My weight dropped rapidly from 84kg's to 69kg's - I was stoked! From this point, my weight fluctuated for years. Over the past few years, I've kept my weight fairly regular, 71kg's - 72kg's - this is a result of balanced eating and purging regime. For the majority of the 10 years, I felt that I had control of my bulimia. I never thought bulimia controlled me. Recently, I've gone from a balanced regime to a very very unhealthy lifestyle. My purging has increased - I throw up everything I eat and I'm back at 69kg's. It's really starting to effect my mood. I've been on anti depressants for 8 months and this was a result of the line of work I'm in. I feel like my depression has spiraled over the passed month since my bulimia has increased. I know I need to seek professional help but I just feel I can take the step to seek that help - I'm embarrassed and of course, I'm ashamed of my body, etc... If there is anyone out there who can relate to my story or someone who can offer helping word, please let me know...
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