Relationships and Marriage Forum - lying about daughters age ?

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Q: lying about daughters age ?

asked by: CoolGlassofH2O on September 1st, 2008

Experienced User

well i already posted this on the "when did i consieve forum" but i wanted to put i here to get more input.

i was cleaning yesterday and found myboyfriends child support summons papers. and i saw his kids birthdate there. it didnt hit me at first..but then i thought "wait a minute..how can she be turning 6 if her bday is on december 2003?" my boyfriend, and his family all think that shes turning 6 this december. since thats what the baby mama says. but shes not. technially shes 4 yrs old turning 5 this Dec.2008. im confused because i dont know if shes lying or something.. my boyfriend says that she supposedly had a normal pregnancy, no early birth etc. so why when i calculated theres a month missing? she supposedly had a full 9mnth pregnancy.

story goes they broke up and he came back home to the states. 2 weeks after he left she calls him up and tells him shes prego...this was on the end of march. so in the beginning of april is when she tells him.

too many things jus dont seem right. they never got a DNA test done, the childs age being all wrong, even though she wrote the child birthdate in pen on the child support summons papers, she wont let my boyfriend go see his daughter. not even in pictures! (odd??)the dates jus seem off. im going to bringit up later, jus letting him know im a little concerned. but seriously i think shes lying about something. the last picture i saw the lil girl looked like her grandmother on the baby mamas side of the family. and ive seen pictures of my boyfriend and his siblings wen they were her age. i dont know im confused. any advice or input is greatly appreciated

Replies(5)

harmony1

replied on September 3rd, 2008

Supporter

Get a dna test done. I mean what's the point of paying child support and not being able to see your daughter. find out for sure then if in fact she is his get visitation rights.

CoolGlassofH2O

replied on September 3rd, 2008

Experienced User

your right, i.ll try bringing it up. the dates being off and her not lettng him see his daughter jus makes me think shes hiding something. ever since i found out she still had feelings for him and was jealous that he wasnt with her but wit me instead all this started happening. sometimes i think she might not be his and maybe thats why shes not even sending him pictures or see her.

CoolGlassofH2O

replied on September 9th, 2008

Experienced User

well i brought it up today and he just said he didnt remember telling me she was turning 6. i told him i clearly remember him telling me that she was turning 5 or 6, so i started getting annoyed that he kept insisting that i was wrong so i let it go. if he goes to visit them (which hes been talking about going soon.) i.ll just immerse myself in my work.. i dont want my mind to run wild and start feeling depressed. like i say if his baby mama is hiding something...i hope it all comes out and karma bites her on the ass. because just the way she is acting, not keeping him updated, suddenly dissapearing and not letting him see his daughter, no pictures, and acting like shes hiding something...makes me feel that she is hiding something. and all i can do since im not going is trust him. ive given up alot and treated him real good...i hope hes not stupid enough to throw it away.

we did decide that when he goes again and we have our fnances in order we.ll both go. i was excited about that because he was totally up for it.

harmony1

replied on September 16th, 2008

Supporter

hi :)

All this stress can't be doing you much good. try to relax. If you're going to stay with this guy it sounds like you're going to have a lot to deal with. Lots of chaos and dramas (from his daughter mother). Don't let it get the better of you. Be the better woman (which I have no doubt you are) If she is lying then it will all come out eventually.
Just a thought but are you sure this guys the one for you? I'm not jugding and I know i don't know him or anything But it's just a feeling I'm getting. Like he doesn't really care that this is all hurting you cos if he did he could have things running differently. It's unfair to you. It seems as though you're a nice girl and deserve to be treated better.....

Harmony Smile

CoolGlassofH2O

replied on September 27th, 2008

Experienced User

i knew that i would have to deal with alot after he told me he had a kid. i was going to leave him after he told me 4mnths into our relationship. we jus had a huge fight were it ended up us both coming to an agreement , that if i ever looked thru his things we would break up, and if he ever asked for pictures from any chik i would leave him. we pretty much had a fresh start and it feels really good. because i can see hes making a real effort just like i am.

so him leaving to see his daughter and eventually her, it doesnt bother me much, im jus sad now that i couldnt go. im scared things mite get out of hand or go bad when he just shows up to see his daughter. what if his kid doesnt recognize him? or his baby mama gets angry, or her boyfriend gets agressive and starts a fight? i wont be there for him.

but after him telling me he loved how our relationship was going, i asked him if he does see a future wit me and he said yes, but that he loves how we are right now and that everything else will come in due time. so i know i.ll nmake it thru whole week being alone. i have friends to hang out with and my work to keep me busy

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