If he has type 2 diabetes, his libido could suffer...It could be a lifetime thing...

It is possible that if you caught him watching NSA sex a year ago, that he was trying to rev his sexual libido up to have sex with you...My other thought on the NSA website, was the possible thought in his mind of checking on this to possibly keep you happy as a sexual woman...I kind of doubt it was for himself as diabetes is a very cruel disease...IMO, you would have to compare his sexual actions early in your marriage vs now to really figure this out...Then what is his age?...This could have a bearing on his actions....

His confusion factor, could be his lack of libido that he used to have...To a man this is more than tragic...I hope all goes well...

Just my thoughts....
Caroline

He is 43. He used to want sex every night he was home... 3 to 4 nights straight.

I miss the hand holding and cuddle time also.

Is he on a lot of medication?...As a man ages you have to keep him young..My husband has diabetes problems too, but he won't admit it..He was pre-diabetic and I fight him every day of the week...He thinks sneaking does not count...I now have him on a diet to get the weight back off...Weight is a problem with men...They put it on and don't have the sexual energy it takes to do what they need...We hand hold and cuddle constantly so I know what you mean...Tell him of your needs...Holding hands can be like touching a person's heart...Something is causing him to pull back...Maybe he has read about the problems of sexual dysfunction...It can prey on a man's mind...

He may be having a more difficult time getting an erection than you know...If this is true then you have to take over and be the lover...Tell him how you love to be fingered if he is too tired to make love to you...Tell him how you need the closeness of yesterday...This is so important and I understand each word you are saying...I love it and it keeps the closeness of two people...

I am just throwing a few thoughts at you from the experience of age...I am not nosey, just trying to help...The thing is that unless he gets this under control it will get worse...Men age so fast and let self doubt creep in...We women need more sex and that is just the way it goes...You have just begun as far as being a sexual woman...You are just growing into your hot sexual years...This I promise you...

Caroline

Added...If ever you want to PM me, feel free to do so....There is a lot for us women to learn about life, but oh, what a wonderful trip that it is...xox C

It's not an age thing. My boyfriend is 36 and I can relate to all that you are saying. At first I was really upset about him looking at nude pictures of other women on the net because it made me feel like I'm not good enough and he is looking for something better. Made me feel really bad, especially because I'm very sexual and sensual and willing to do anything to bring passion into our lives. But after a while I realized that he may be just trying to stimulate his labido and trying to see if anything or anyone out there arouses him. It's gotten to the point where we only have sex after we go out and he is intoxicated, perhaps that relaxes his mind enough to make room for excitement. I don't really understand it and it doesn't feel good to not be desired and wanted, as I've never had that problem before with any one unless things were bad between me and my partner, but we have a good relationship that is slowly disappearing because of this problem. I agree that this is tragic for men but instead of trying to be closer to me in other ways to compensate for the lack of passion he withdraws affection more and more and he is not touchy cuddly to begin with. I can't stand the fact that there is no sexual tension between us. Once or twice a week while clearly aroused by something else is not a great building block for a relationship.

you are not alone and as you can see age does not matter in this case as we are a bit younger and have the same problem.

Tinky, I'm sorry that you're also having this problem. I'm really beginning to think that it's me that he doesn't find appealing anymore.

Have you considered that maybe he is diverting his attention else where? It is definiately not you.... there is something going on with him, unfortunately it leaves us feeling like we are the problem. How long ago did the behaviour change? Was it a slow change or drastic? Is the relationship otherwise good and same as it was before?

His attention is elsewhere... the TV, State Guard, His job, His cell phone, The computer, and Whatever else is around at the time. I don't believe he would chance having an affair after I caught him last year online. He signed a legal agreement (just in case). Although his behaviour changed last year before he was caught online, it's not as drastic or has lasted as long this time. The relationship is fine in every other area. I know he was extremely tempted to have an affair last year but he swears that temptation is long gone and he wants no one other than me. Ive not caught him doing ANYTHING at all that he shouldn't be doing and he has been very open with his cell phone and emails.

to tell you the truth your husband sounds like me. and im only 22 years old. You really need to look at the things you may not be noticeing, I myself think i have a touch of depression and other things that i have yet to admit. I used to be very sexually active with my wife when we first met, up to several times a day, now shes lucky if she gets me 1 time in a 2 week period, and with a future baby on the way it seems im even more hesistant on showing emotions, and let me explain why i think the way i do.

Recently i have come into alot of Stress in my life, alot of self-doubts, and i have to keep reassureing myself things are gonna be ok. if hes anything like me, he prolly likes to just stay home when he gets home from work watch tv and jump on the computer, almost anti-social in a sorts, Doesn't want to really "Go out" and do things. And when my wife approaches me for some loving or affection its almost an annoyance, even though i love her so very much , my sex drive has almost diminished. His lifestyle in his mind is changeing dramatically, hes thinking what is diabetes gonna do to me? Whats gonna happen as i get older? I think its starting to set in stresses of age and life.

To make this long story shorter i think its mainly stress and a touch of depression the guy prolly has a ton of stuff on his mind and his way of getting away is to not think of things, like watching tv/playing games/getting on computer. But when hes being affectionate its sparking up his emotions and he gets overflooded with all kinds of thoughts and fears. I know this is really kind of scattered way of looking at it. But i don't think its you "Specifically" i think hes just worried about alot of things and he goes to his comfort zones.

Just to add, when i say my wife approaches me for affection and it annoys me, its not prolly what your thinking, When i watch tv or do something to just go away in my own mind to either think or not think, im best to my own devices alone, so when im concentrating on "just getting away lost in tv land" someone who breaks me from that comfort weither it be my wife or a good friend is almost like a person who keeps talking in a movie theater, You just want to be there watch the movie and you don't wanna hear about other things at the given time. Needless to say it sounds like hes running to comfort zones and wishes to be left alone to his own devices until he can understand and control his emotions and feelings.

Also, I have noticed this kind of stuff happening to me lately, and it now seems that i cannot overcome my stresses alone, and that i may need some outside help, and my wife realized that shes very supportive of giving me comfort zones when need be but also realizing that i need to talk about whats on my mind, its really a big deal when you can just talk and kind of let the stress release,

So now that i just turned your thread into my problem ill let you decipher what you can from this, I wish you the best hopefully this gives you at least one thing to think about or consider.

Thank you for sharing. He does have a lot on his plate. He's a member of the State Guard (which he enjoys), He's also going to training classes at least once or twice a month for police reserve officer training (hoping to change jobs where he can be home every night), plus his blood sugar has been up lately. Good news is we just got the news that his A1C has came down for a change. It's still high but at least this time it's going in the right direction. Unfortunately, now I've gotten laif off and have been told that it's taking 3 to 4 weeks to get unemployment started due to the state not being able to enter people into the system fast enough. They are behind, so the unemployed are going without money. Bills are piling up but his Libedo has increased lately!!!

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Back to the drawing board. He doesn't want me at all now. He goes WEEKS without touching me! No kissing, no cuddle time, etc. I guess it's me after all.