The world would NOT be better off without you. You recognize the fact that you are a loving and caring person and that is an attribute. Your feelings of self-loathing is probably causing your female problems. It is not a sign of weakness or anything that you have not kissed a girl yet; I was in my thirties before I first kissed a woman and I am now happily married and have a family... Remember, the person that in their youth they may look away from may well be the one that they look to when they start thinking about raising a family. You are intelligent and that is an attractive thing to a woman who wants to raise a family... Right now, that is not the purpose of most of their relationships... they just want to have "fun"... Give it time... As far as your symptoms there are several characteristics consistent with clinical depression and especially when you are thinking the world would be better off without you... that NEEDS TO BE ADDRESSED IMMEDIATELY EVEN IF YOU THINK YOU ARE NOT IN DANGER.... Try to find a trusted adult... Parent, grandparent, Dr., counselor or even a favorite teacher and discuss these things with him/her... They can help guide you toward treatment that will encourage your recovery. I wish you the best and encourage you to get help now... Don't suffer longer than necessary. There is no shame in seeking help with this or any other MEDICAL conditions.

I did read all that and I'm not sure if this will help, but...

I used to feel quite similarly when I was your age, although I've never been outgoing, I'm generally very quiet and shy... so I didn't even have any friends at school. So I used to feel quite lonely and unwanted because of that, but I also felt like I needed someone to love and show affection to. I think the fact that everyone else seemed to have someone, even the guys who treated them so much worse than I would, made me feel even worse.

But now that I'm older (22), I look back and think... why was I so bothered back then? I was only 16... there was plenty of time. I still haven't got a proper girlfriend, and still hadn't kissed a girl either until recently, but I'm just much more laid back about it now. I know I'm a good person who could make a girl very happy, and one day one of them is going to take the time to find that out. And I've also got a much better idea of what sort of woman I want now, too.

Just remember that you're still young (although I know it doesn't seem like it now), and a lot can happen in the next few years.

But don't try to rush it either, don't give all your love to the first girl who comes along and shows an interest... I did that when I was a little bit older than you are now, and ended up spending a long time in a relationship with someone who wasn't right for me at all. I don't know whether you would do the same thing anyway, because obviously you're a different person... but just in case, all I'm saying is... if a girl does come along and show an interest in you, just take your time and think about things, try not to do anything just for the sake of not being alone... but if she is right for you, then go for it

But back to the current matter... You are probably better than the people who seem better than you, just in other ways which are less obvious. You can't (or at least shouldn't) compare yourself to other people who seem better, because they have girlfriends or whatever other reason. You're you, you're a good person, and that's all that matters. Just carry on being you, try not to get down about how things seem at the moment, and one day someone will realise how good you really are.

Oh, and looks mean absolutely nothing... there might be a few girls at the moment who are interested in other guys and not you because of their looks, but you don't want them anyway. And also, you might find that you're actually better looking than you think... or at least there will be some girls out there who think so

As for feeling like you hate yourself... I've never really experienced that, but... I think there are a lot of people out there who would have far more reason to hate themselves, but they don't, and there's absolutely no reason why you should either. You sound like a good person, and I think the world would be a lot worse off without you.

Thanks to you two I do feel better I think things are looking up already. I actually might date that girl because I am sweet to her. I didnt even have any bad thoughts today. This site is pretty great I'm glad I stumbled on to it