Medical Questions > Pregnancy Forum > Miscarriage and Stillbirth Forum

lost my son at almost 22 weeks (Page 1)

I lost my son at nearly 22 weeks. I called the dr on a sunday morning and told him I was spotting and a little crampy. He asked me if I has intercourse the night before and told me that will sometimes cause cramps and spotting. He told me I was fine to go to work (on my feet as a bartender). I used the restroom when I got to work and immediately lost my mucus plug. I called the dr again and he told me I could have lost it because I was bleeding and water hadnt broke. I went to the emergency room anyway and the nurse gave me a manual exam and said that i was fine. This was late afternoon on Sunday. By 6am I was in the hospital in active labor. No cramps or anything, just bleeding a little too much not to worry. I had begun to dilate (i did lose my plug) however the baby was not distressed nor had my water broke. I was advised because of the age of the baby (21.5 weeks), that the nearest neonatal ward (Vanderbilt in Nashville)wanted nothing to do with it. I was in labor and finally delivered my son on the fourth day. He was alive but could not breath on his own and died within moments. My question is this...am I just an angry greiving mother or was I not treated properly. It's my understanding that an emergency cerclage can be performed up to 4cm as long as the bag of water is intact. Shouldn't this have been done on me? Also, shouldn't I have been transported to the specialty facility? I can't imagine they would've turned me away (I have full private health coverage). I'm in the process of getting my records from the doctor and the hospital. I guess I'm wondering if this is somethng that I should pursue legally. Did I mention that this was also considered a stillbirth not a miscarriage so my husband and I also had to make funeral arrangements, etc and I was out of work for nearly 6 weeks. Any opinions or stories ya'll can share would be greatly appreciated.
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First Helper jennyfer2305
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replied April 22nd, 2009
Experienced User
So sorry this has happened to you. Any child born after 20 weeks is considered a stillbirth. But seeing as how you child was born alive and passed away monents later it SHOULD be considered infant/neonatal death. Your story does sound as if you were mistreated. I too was going to go after my doctor with a medical malpractice lawsuit too, but there was sooooo much involved. Plus it can take years to even settle. Some states don't consider a 'stillborn' to even be a child. So in some states if no harm was directly done to you (you needing life support or other physical damage) then you won't have a case. Some states though will claim a stillborn as a child and you will have a better chance. If I were you I would call a lawyer and talk about it and see what the laws are in your area.

This is a very tough situation. Losing a child is never easy no matter how far along you are or how old your child is. I lost my 1st daughter at 4 months old to a heart defect and I lost my 2nd daughter at 32 weeks, she was a stillborn. It does get easier to deal with over time though. If you ever need or want to talk send me a message.
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replied March 27th, 2011
Hi.

First of all i like to say sorry for ur loss..My older sister has just lost her son at 23 weeks he was born 23rd march 2011 through emergency caesarian,she got pregnant after 15 years for the first time through IVF,everyone in my fam are devastated and no one can really believe this had happened to her and we all are asking the same question why her,but we all know this was ment to happen and no one can do anything but just pray that she gets pregnant again and have a healthy baby...
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replied April 3rd, 2012
I lost my twin baby at 22 weeks pregnancy
I lost my twin baby at 22 weeks on 12 february 2012.I got pregnant after 9 years for the first time.i gave birth to them naturally.After few minutes my daughter was dead and my son send to the NICU.He passed away the next morning.I cant forget my twin baby.Still now i feel them in my abdomen.They kick my abdomen like that days.But i know there is no baby in my womb.
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replied April 23rd, 2012
me and my partner have just had twins born 15th april 2012 my beautiful daughter weighed 14 onces and my son nearly 16 onces we were 22 weeks 6 days my daughter was full of life when she popped out i begged the midwife to save her she called the doctors took my daughter to them but within 30 seconds she was placed in my hands and told me sorry nothing they could do then my son came out 3 hours later again full of life and they wouldnt even try to save him so much could of been done insteed felt like the doctors would rather finnish there tea and biscuits and go home early put there feet up and dont give my babys a seconds thought at least thats how they make us feel about them my son GLEN JUNIOR CEURVELS MY DAUGHTER PIPPA PATRICIA CEURVELS R,I,P LOVE MUMMY AND DADDY ALWAYS IN OUR HEARTS WITH WONDERFULL THOUGHTS XXX
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replied April 11th, 2013
So sorry that this happened to you, it isn't fair, I lost my baby at 16 weeks just 1 week ago, I am recovery, but I feel lost, and feel like it's all my fault, talking helps.
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replied April 24th, 2009
I lost my baby boy on Tues, like u i am angry because there was so much that could have been done, i did have the stitch put in but made no difference in the end but do have other grounds for malpractice as it all could have been prevented. like me u r seeeking for answers but my love, save ur anger and grieve with me for our angels,there time will come but just not now xxxxxxxx
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replied April 25th, 2009
I am sory to hear about your losses. I delivered a stillborn baby boy on the 8th. It has been hard to accept things. We did have a memorial service at our church and I feel that that has helped me tremedously. Just gathering and praying for my baby and they prayed for my husband and I helped a lot. I felt much more at peace. I too went through the anger. I felt angry at myself, at the doctors, at God at everyone. Sometimesthere are things in our lives that we can not understand. It still hurt s bad that at moments I feel like I can't breath. Just to say his name still brings me to tears. I also made a case to display his urn in. I created it as a garden with flowers and butterflies. It turned out really nice and made feel like I was able to do something for him as a mother. I didn't get to hold him after he was born, they wouldnt let me. After making the case I felt like I made a peaceful resting place for him. I tried to imagine the most beautiful peaceful place I could think of, and that is what I went for. I was told that a baby under 26 weeks has a very very small chance of survival,and under 23 weeks no chance of survival. Maybe that is why they did not transfer you to another facility. They probably knew that there was nothing they could do. They should have done thing in a more compassionate manner. Some people just don't get it. I had one nurse come into my room about an hour after I delivered and tell me that she needed to know where to send the body and that I had to make up my mind soon. I was so angry and upset I could not speak. I have learned to forgive the insensitivity and ignorance of others. I'll pray for you.
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replied April 26th, 2009
cerclage reply
i'm sat here after nearly a week of losing my precious son and i'm to starting to boil at my anger, i know this a natural grieving process, but i have just found out that my (incompetence cervix) was noted 3 yrs ago following a surgey for cancerous cells, and a stitch at 14 weeks of this pregnancy may have prevented this (80-90%), the surgoen at the time 'asummed' that because i had 2 previous children i did not need this information passed onto me as he 'asummed' my family was done,however knowing this does'nt change what has happened, it just makes me wanna fight for my childs name and to prevent this happening to others. I live in England and the system seems to suck wherever you live, i'm sorry you felt u suffered following the death of your baby and hope these people (or whatever) never have to experience what we are going through.My hospital and staff were brilliant with myself and hubby and support for my two chidren 10 &12 has been outstanding,although still poorly following numerous health impications following the birth i am taking great comfort from sites like these!!! i will see in 6 weeks time where i stand legally when i see the consultant (doctor) and will have more info regarding future surgery to prevent this happening again. stay strong my honeys and keep healthy. xxxxx
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replied December 1st, 2009
I lost my baby girl on saturday 20 weeks and 5 days, i gave birth to her naturally and she was born sleeping. I know exactly how you feel about losing a child
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replied June 5th, 2012
i lost my baby girl at 22 wks and 5 days i gave birth to her and she was born asleep . i was told by doctors at a young age i would never have kids and she was my first it is heartbreaking
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replied June 5th, 2012
i lost my baby girl at 22 wks and 5 days i gave birth to her and she was born asleep . i was told by doctors at a young age i would never have kids and she was my first it is heartbreaking
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replied January 2nd, 2010
Tasha,

I am so sorry I totally understand I lost my little girl Caitlyn at 20 weeks and 4 days. I felt like my whole life has been turned upside down. I am hoping time will begin to heal my heart. Best of luck to you.
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replied January 2nd, 2010
anything over 16 weeks is considered a stillbirth . I agree with what your saying totaly . I was 39 weeks plus when i lost my daughter and the day before i found out i had lost her i had went to hospital itching all over . They tested me for OC and it came back negative , yet the next day i lost her . I knew ther was something wrong yet they wouldnt do further tests and they sent me home . It wasnt until the next day that i persisted they took me in and couldnt find a heartbeat . Its horrible and i feel for you . You want to know what happend and you have the right to know . I would persue with what you are wanting to do xx
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replied March 24th, 2012
Did you have cholestasis? I had this condition and lost my baby at 28 wks. The dr's wrote reason for death unknown. It's a very uncommon pregnancy condition that can harm your baby if not treated. Many dr's are ignorant to this. I am sorry that you lost your baby. I hope that you are doing well.
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replied January 7th, 2010
INCOMPENT CERVIX
I know how you all feel. i had a perfect pregency . i went to the doctor on the friday and he checked my cervix and it was fine . sunday night i went to the bathroom and found i was bleeding .i went to the hospital and the said i was dialated 4 cm and the membrance were coming through . alexis was born at 21 weeks . they said i have an incompent cervix. it was only a few days before christmas this year . my partner and i want to try again soon . i am afraid that waiting too long will only cause more problems.i know i can never have her back . however i always wanted children .does anyone else have an incompent cervix.?
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replied January 16th, 2012
I too was diagnosed on friday the 13th i lost my son at 22 weeks at home in my bathroom i didnt even get the chance to get to the hospital it happens that fast. An incompetent cervix is something they can do something with and your next pregnancy if you wish to try again will be high risk and monitored very closely from 14 weeks on nothing you or I did would have stopped it I was very fortunate to have very compassionate care and all the checking in the world never prepares the doctors for anything like this. they can poke you all day long they cant see it coming. My doctor was in absolute shock, and hes a high risk specialist. I had funeral arrangements today for our son both me and my husband are devistated, just take comfort in the fact that you CAN try again sweetheart and you are NOT alone. Feel free to e mail me if you have any other questions about the condition... sooo sorry for your loss
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replied April 12th, 2012
incompent cervic
I am so sorry I totally understand I lost my bay boy George JR march 31, 2012 and I also had a perfect pregency I went to my regular visit with my doctor went they found out that I had a incompent cervic and that my membrance were coming out. The person that was doing my ultrasound told me that on my visit before they had seen that my placenta was low and went that happend I had bleeded a little thay had told me everrthing was find and now ant 22wks I loss my baby they did a cerclage and a week later I was with a infaction.. I'm very sad I don't get it why but I cut say my doctor and kelper were very nice I made a appoiment with my doctor I will ask question I don't know if thing were done wrong but God is Good and have give me the peace andertanding I need I'll pray for all of YOU BE Bless!!!
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replied September 16th, 2012
i have an incompetent cervix which i found out when i lost a child at 18 weeks.My waters broke suddenly in the early in the morning but 6yrs after that decided to have a child and this time i knoew and told my doctors about it.A suture or cerclage was fixed and i had my lovely daughter delivered well.Although this works ,every country does it differently i got pregnant again and have just lost a baby at 20 weeks ,still devastated about my baby boy but i know this time the cerclage got an infection ,its very delicate ,if you still want some info get back to me
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replied September 16th, 2012
have an incompetent cervix which i found out when i lost a child at 18 weeks.My waters broke suddenly in the early in the morning but 6yrs after that decided to have a child and this time i knoew and told my doctors about it.A suture or cerclage was fixed and i had my lovely daughter delivered well.Although this works ,every country does it differently i got pregnant again and have just lost a baby at 20 weeks ,still devastated about my baby boy but i know this time the cerclage got an infection ,its very delicate ,if you still want some info get back to me
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replied January 15th, 2010
Hey im so sorry to hear about your son..
the same thing happened to me on oct 23 2009 and im 17 so the drs probably took me as a dumb girl .. i had my son at 22 weeks:( i went in cause i was cramping on oct 21 and they sent me home they said its normal and i was in labor 2 days labor and they said he was born dead wen he was alive for an hour and 43 mins:( the funeral was so hard:( so i no exactly how u feel the same thing they did to u is wat they did to me
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replied January 20th, 2010
Hey, this happened to me on the 27 december 2009. I was 22 weeks with identical twin boys, I was cramping and lost a little blood and I was sent home too. Within 3 hours I was in labour. I really want answers too but have not gotten angry just sad, sad that it happened to me and my precious boys, sad that it has happened to all of us. I got to spend some time with my boys and take photos. We had a beautiful funeral which did help but will never take the pain away. All I can say is try and remember how happy you were while you were pregnant, and even though it was a short time it was a happy memory of your baby.
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replied January 22nd, 2010
Hi,

I'm really sorry about your son. Im jennyfer from Mauritius island.... I lost my little girl on 22 weeks on the 3rd of january 2010. It was our 1st baby, and the first baby in both families... we were all so happy about my pregnancy and everytime i went to the doctor, he said that all was fine, that i didnt have to worry about anything... I delivered a stillborn on the 3rd at about 1pm... On the 1st of january i was bleeding a bit and my doctor gave me an olfen 100mg and it stopped the bleeding telling me that all was ok... on the 3rd morning at about 8am i started to have cramps and didnt know that the work had started. I called my doctor at about 10am and he said to come and see him at noon. By the time i left home i my "cramps" were every 45seconds or so and i knew that the work had started... But somewhere in my head i was thinking... NO its too early how cold this be??

By the time we reached the clinic, the labour pains were really strong and it was too late we couldnt stop the work...

My doctor said that anyway, even if i came earlier or on the 1st, we wouldnt have been able to save the baby if the labour works had started????

I am still crying for my little girl... because for those 22 weeks... ALL was OK... I was not ill, had no infections, the baby was in excellent health and up to now, no one can explain what has happened and why it happened.



Someone told me after that sometimes its better no to have a reply and accept and continue...

Its really really hard not to have a reply and just continue as if all was ok and that this baby never existed... Life is sometimes so unfair...

Everyday when i wake up and see the little ppink t-shirt that we bought for her, i tell myself that there had no reason for this to be and that i should have been a happy mum soon...

But thats life and we have to move on.

I'll pray for you and for all those who lost their child or someone important with no reason. May god give us courage to continue and i know that we will ne ver forget... but just help us to accept....

Jennyfer xxxxxx
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replied February 1st, 2010
question
Did any of you take the H1N1 vaccine?
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replied February 18th, 2010
i dont know what to do...
i think they should of done alot more to, am so sorry to hear about your lost to. am sorry i dont know what to say, i lost my son at 22 weeks and they called it a misscarry, i went for a scan an thats when they fond out, give me a tablets on the 21st of january 2010, and left me for 2 days in a hospital, i then had him on the 24th of january i know am not going to see him again but he is loved with all mine and daddys heart he would ov been my forth child, its been 3 week and i stil dont know what to do, am sure you all know what i mine.
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replied March 11th, 2010
I had my baby born on jan 28 2010 22 weeks and everything was fine the doctors told me on friday and monday and tuesday before i ahd the baby on thurday am 12:35 dont know what happen but im getting through it and i still want a baby but my fiance dont want to go through it again dont know what to do
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replied May 11th, 2010
my miscarriage
my name is ANGELA sorry to u all dat lost there baby,i lost my baby girl at 22 weeks,my pregnancy was ok but having pain on my left side of my
tummy i went to d hospital for scan and d doctor said my baby is ok and said mayb i have water infection so he gave me cefalexin 500mg to take for d water infection immediately i take d tablet not to 15 minute my baby water was broken i went in to labour and had my baby girl normal delivery but died after 1 hour. can someone tell me if is d tablet d doctor gave me that broken my baby water? is been 8 months i lost my baby girl i try to get pregnant after 5 months of my miscarriage i did not get pregnant i dont y is delaying. plsssssss help me here i need to no why.thanks to u all
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replied May 28th, 2010
I think the most important thing to remember is that doctors and nurses are humans. Everyone makes mistakes. When you lose a baby you want to blame someone, and make someone hurt as bad as you do. That is not the christian thing to do. I lost my baby girl at 32 weeks on April 12, 2010. Her cord had twisted and cut off her blood supply. It was going to be my first baby. I had my baby shower and everything. The way I look at it is everything happens for a reason. I know your mad that you had your baby taken away from you so soon, but would you give up the weeks you got to carry your baby if you knew this was going to happen? I wouldn't; I love my baby gril so much and wish she was here but I think God that he gave me the little bit of time I had with her. She changed my life. I trust that God knows what he is doing and will send me and my husband comfort. I will pray for all of you.
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replied July 15th, 2011
Not everyone is Christian or catholic or what ever !!
not everyone is Christian and if there was Malpractice then it
Needs to be brought up so it doesn't happen again!!!!!!!!
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replied July 19th, 2010
lost my beautifull baby at 21 weeks why ???
i lost my baby at 21.5 weeks on 14th july 2010 i went for a scan and they couldn,t find a heartbeat was induced into labour and delivered the next day i,m very confused as i was having weekly checks as i,m diabetic and classed as a high risk older mother but still nobody had notice my baby had died inside me. our baby wasn,t planed but was so wanted and loved i really need answers. My heart is with all you ladys who have suffered the pain i,m now going through .
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replied July 10th, 2012
The same thing happened to me...at 21 weeks...what we thought was going to be a happy day...seeing our baby...only to find out he no longer had a heartbeat. Our hearts are broken. I;m older and was high risk. I feel pain everyday and we don't know weather to try again. We are afraid of it happening again. The pain seems unbearable at times. I'm so sorry for your loss and send a hug your way.
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replied July 23rd, 2010
Angel Passed at 22wk 1day
Hello. I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl on July 11, 2010...I was 22wks and 1 day. I had a normal ultrasound two days before and a healthy check up a week before that.

I went into the hospital, complaining of cramps. I had been told by experienced mothers and my doctor that it was just normal signs of the baby growing and my body expanding. However, I knew something wasn't right. I was transfered to a "specialty" hospital in hopes of them providing special care to save my daughter. In spite of their limited efforts, my daughter was born extremely prematurely and left this world to meet her Creator.

It's such a painful and debilitating experience. My husband and I had a funeral for her, which allowed us much healing and comfort. We have truly been each other's backbone and this experience has brought us closer to each other and God.

While we don't understand the causes for this event, we are faithful in knowing God does not make any mistakes. Our daughter's middle name, ironically, was "Faith". That's what we have to have, Faith in knowing that this too shall pass. May God bless you all and provide you with comfort during your time of need.
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replied August 4th, 2010
I lost my daughter at 23 weeks pregnant. I delivered her on July 15, 2010. She was gone almost 2 weeks by the time I delivered her. The doctor said she was measuring around 21 1/2 weeks. It is unbelievably painful to go through something like that. I started a blog and told my story at mckenzistory.blogspot.com.I am trusting God and he is helping me through this, and I pray that he does the same for all of you. All we can do is hold to His hand.
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