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Lost interest in life

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It all started back in college, before that i was normal, having a unique personality just like anybody else, my relationships with people around me were great, worked hard on my self to be a better man even with that young age, I had goals had life pattern and life. Then just after a month from going to college I started doubting my self a feeling i havnt had for a long time and worked hard to get rid off, I started paying attention to things i knew it was naive and invaluable like the way i look, how tall i am and the thoughts of self unappreciative ( those thoughts my have crossed my mind for a second and then they would have disappear, didnt hold any real value before) though am not bad looking and am not short its just had thoughts telling me that i am, and all of a sudden came like a shock to me (literally) just like coming out of a car accident, my inner voice disappeared, thoughts rushed like a bullet train with no explanation or answers, nothing seemed right just like i was just born and i haven't been living, forgot how i was seconds ago and could not recall anything, couldnt get rid of the thoughts i was having, thoughts of being worthless, and more painful thoughts of losing things i worked hard to get, my personality, it just vanished, I fought and i fought but it kept getting worse, and worse, couldnt remember how i was, and became stranger to my self, I knew it wasnt me by all means, not the way i think not the way i talk, walk, eat or anything, then i stopped talking only few words come out of my mouth, didnt know what to say, even when i came back to my friends it wasnt me it was someone with a lot of anger who is trying to get his life back i was afraid to tell them the thought i would having,i was too scared, I was in shock didnt know what happened, couldnt put it into words couldnt ask for help, i started doing things without thinking just for the sake of doing it, I started smoking pots ( i didnt even ask what its is or what does it do or how to stop or whats the side effect) i just said yes without thinking, smoking and staying home all day prisoner of my thoughts the same thoughts of worthless and nobody was still there, just like i couldnt wake up from a shock, and step by step i started losing energy and interest in life, dont mean am gonna hurt my self, am a god believer and i fear god, and my life now is 3 habits i do every day, online surfing, eating and sleeping (weird thoughts and random thoughts are there 24/7). I experimented thoughts like telepathy, so imagine the fear am living thinking that am transferring some of the thoughts that i have to the beloved ones, imagine the embarrassment and shame, it might be true and it might be not ( am almost convinced its true) I just dont want all that, i want a normal life i want to be me again, i wanna get my feelings back, I wanna like and dislike, I wanna listen to music, I wanna know again how it feels to get a fresh air, i wanna stop thinking just for a second and start listening, I wanna stop thinking for a sec and just look around and watch, I wanna treat my self right, feel my self so i can do the same with the beloved ones (i barely talk to my family or friends) I wanna appreciate every single thing I have,

Please help me if you can, tell me steps so i can like my self again, help me to get rid of those thoughts, I know that am a better person and all those thoughts are intruders, coz i was never like this, pls help me to help my self
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