I can completely relate to what you are saying, i sometimes think that the reason i'm not happy, is because i'm always searching for that little bit more than what i have. Most of the time i'm dissapointed when i get it. I guess i don't really have anything to say that will make you feel better. I just hope you find a little bit of solititude in knowing i feel the same! and so do loads of other people, guess its just kinda nice to offload sometimes, even when it is to a complete stranger!
Be strong!

Thanks

I had a counselor that was referred to me today so I'm going to give her a call tomorrow and hopefully schedule an appointment soon. I need this fixed.

I hit submit too soon. I apologize. I would like to add that even though I'm seeking help, I believe I won't be relieved. The reason being is that every reason why I'm depressed is completely rational. I really hope this feeling subsides soon...

Im happy to hear you are getting help, i am startin counciling soon to, so let me knw how you get on. Hopefully you will feel more positive about it soon, because you seem pretty negative about everything at the moment and you need to break that pattern! I feel a bit hypocritical saying these things to you because i need to do the exact same thing. Have a good day

So I've gone to counseling twice with a nice, harvard ph.d and told me in our last session that if I looked up the definition of depression, my pic would be next to it haha. He told me to find a doctor and get depression pills from one. He said it could take weeks or months though

My last session is Friday. I choose not to continue because it didn't help me one bit. Hopefully it helps other people. It freaked me out how much I opened up to him though. He told me in our first session that with all that has happened to me in my life, he didint understand why I'm not an angry individual. He took 3 pages of notes on me in 45 min in our first session.

You should get help too! After you do, you'll know what your problem is for sure and how to fix it. I can't wait to get my hands on these pills. I asked him if there was a faster way to get them but he said no.

Hey, My counceling should start in a couple weeks, i'm guna go in with an open mind, but to be honest i don't really see it helping me either. Don't pin all your hopes on the pills, because i currently take antidepressants and they make me worse!!! I sleep pretty much all the time, i think there gunna up my dose, so hopefully i'll start to see the effects soon. I guess it's all just trial and error to see which one works best with my body. I hope they help you! You seemed to be a lot more positive in your last post, so maybe the counceling did help you a little!

Hopefully you find what helps you.

Nan. Before when I was posting on here it was because I was depressed and lost and needed someone. When I posted that yesterday, it was to keep you informed and I just wasn't in that mood. To be honest, the counseling made me worse because it made me think about absolutely everything that made me depressed, but whatever.

I'll be asking for the max dosage even though I hate fixing things through pills. That just shows how much I need to get past this though

I'm alone; lost in a dark, deep hole of hell. The shadows cloud my thoughts. I can't call for help. There's no one to call. I'm beginning to suffocate. Yes. I am suffocating. I'm breathing harder and harder as the minutes pass. Where's my solace? Isn't there someone out there to help? Where's the answer? Will I be trapped in this abyss forever, or will someone, someday, finally here my cry for help and rescue me? I pray for that one day.

I'm thinking about suicide right now. Seriously. For the first time ever in my life, I am seriously contemplating death. I don't want to die by my own hand though. I want to do it honorably. Saving someone or something. I've thought about suicide other times before, but I always knew I would never do it. This is the first time that I'm actually thinking about doing it. I've been stuck in a pit of hell for 19 years. I just lost the 2 people that helped me through those 19 years of hell. So, I'm done. I mean, no one is here to help me through it anymore and this feeling of despair is getting stronger and stronger as days pass. What did I ever do to deserve this? I'm one of the nicest people in this world that still believes in morals and kindness. The psychologist couldn't even help me. What's left? I don't want to hurt my family my dying. It's selfish to take my own life. WHY IS THERE NO ESCAPE?!!!! I want to punch a whole into the wall right now with my frustration. I feel like a beat down dog that wants to inflict pain unto whomever has done this to me. Where is my paradise?