My husband and I have been married for 9 years. He is 34, and I am 32. Over the last year or so, sex has become difficult for us. He is easily aroused and can usually get an erection at the beginning, but will then lose his erection during intercourse. This occurs more frequently when we switch from a "fun" position to our "standard" woman-on-top (the woman-on-top allows me to orgasm easier than other positions). The other part of our problem is that when he is able to maintain an erection, he orgasms much more quickly than he used to. We used to have sex 2-3 times a week, and it is 2-3 times a month now. We've talked a little bit about it, and he says he doesn't know what is wrong, but it might be preformance anxiety. So, I don't want to make him worse by discussing it more! Another related thing is that about a year ago, we had an arguement about sex. I was pleased because I had lost weight and I was feeling more attractive. I have huge monthly hormonal swings that cause me to be more easily aroused and more likely to approach him for 2 weeks a month, and the remaining 2 weeks my sex drive lessens. I've never been one to deny my husband if he wants sex. Again, I was pleased with our sex life, and I thought he was too. But he said it was maddening that I would approach him several times a week for a few weeks, and then I wouldn't approach him for 2 weeks. (keep in mind that I don't usually deny him if he approaches me). I was hurt that he was so unhappy with our sex life, mostly because I thought it was going great- the best since my daughter was born 6 years ago. Now, because of his erection problems, I want sex even less because I can no longer orgasm during sex. If I do anything with him to try to stall his orgasm, I'm worried that he'll loose his erection. For example, last night was his birthday. I dressed up in his favorite outfit (something I don't do often) to surprise him. We had some good foreplay. We started intercourse with him on top. He quickly reached the point of almost having an orgasm. Then, we switched to me on top, and he lost his erection. We stopped intercourse, and I used my hand for a little while. We started again with him on top, and he had an orgasm almost right away. Help!