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loss of desire

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Hi this is sunny from pakistan and i was born way back in 1980. well i read the forum here and found rather striking similarities between some of the posts and my problems so please give your opinion as to how can i find some cure / remedy for what i have been going through..


I underwent an operation for circumcision when i was in 6th class and in the summer of my 7th grade i accidentally discovered masturbation. My circumcision was done only a few months back and i had a sort of a plastic thread like thing in my penis maybe from stitches which some times caused pain while i had masturbation and i masturbated excessively and often violently but it all seemed so good. I was very good looking and almost every girl that i came across took interest in me but due to family and social pressures and my social naivety i was never able to talk to any girls let apart form some sort of a relationship with them. Then in my 9th grade i developed chronic nasal infection which would give me severe problems as the infection would continue all the year long and would produce green, brown and white mucus sometimes with blood. I was growing weaker day by day and by the time i was in 10 grade i went completely impotent and had semen leaking all the time that was a very wretched and painful time and i was working very hard for my final exams.
after the exams i developed pain in abdomen that i could feel focused on a throbbing vein right in the middle of the belly and and it would move around the kidney area both the front and the back side. I underwent a nasal surgery next year which pretty much cured the mucus problem but the belly pain remained and i was still impotent though i used to get pleasure out of watching pron movies.

Then again i fell very sick and had gas in my abdomen all the time and i could feel as if i had a terrible infection inside. My father and mother strangely did not take to to any doctor and instead insisted that i was pretending to be sick and that i was all ok. Then i had dark red blood in urine one day and the doctor put me of ciproxin followed by ampicilin but the problem was temporarily cured only to reappear later with sever pain one day around kidney area along with vomiting and i was very weak.

I was a student and did not have any money and my parents were not willing to spend any money on getting me treated. All the time i felt very depressed and had emotional and social problems. Lost many years of educational career due to poor health and negative behavior of parents and society towards me.


I started improving a bit over the years the semenal leakage has stopped and i even have some sort of erections only when i touch my penis but there is no sensation in my organ and orgasm and ejaculation is also pretty ordinary Also, i have lost desire and interest in sex ( have never had it for real) and i do not feel pleasure or joy seems i have become totally asexual


what could be a probably underlying problem and are my problems purely physical or have mental and emotional aspects to them
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