I will be thirty soon and have just started having some issues with sensitivity.
Let me start by giving some background of my past. I was always very easily aroused both vaginally and clitorally. I was always able to reach orgasm by myself by clitoral stimulation from the time I was 15 years old. I was also able to ejaculate alone by myself. I was even multiply orgasmic. I learned early in my twenties what I needed to orgasm when engaging in intercourse with a man.
I never had any problems reaching orgasm until recently. I had gone through a "dry spell" without masturbating or having sexual intercourse for almost 8 months. I had a new sexual partner and I was able to orgasm the first time we were physically intimate. That was the last time that I have been able to easily reach orgasm with a man. We were together for almost a year and I was never able to orgasm again with him.
It's very difficult for me to orgasm, even by myself. Everything physically feels different than it once used to. I barely have any stimulation to my g-spot and I am not as easily aroused during clitoral stimulation. I was always able to orgasm by myself within a few minutes of stimulation. Now it takes forever. I can barely feel sensation when I touch my clitoris.
My body can produce lubrication and my brain knows that it should feel good. I am aroused when I kiss my boyfriend and I am lubricated then also. I can feel fingers inside of my vagina but not like I used to. My boyfriend says I feel "tight" but I don't feel the elasticity of my vagina gripping onto his fingers.
I've seen three doctors for this and have had testing done to make sure I do not have any infections. They all came back negative. They referred me to a psychologist. I do not feel it is a mental issue. I know my body and how it works. I know what I like and how it used to feel and what it should feel like. I am so frustrated with not having any answers.
Other facts: I have had a leep almost six years ago. I get regular periods that have started getting just a bit lighter. Sex can be painful if a penis repeatedly contacts my cervix. I get abdominal pain during and after engaging in long periods of intercourse. I know when I have to urinate but the urge does not feel as strong as it did before all of this started. I remember always feeling as if I had to urintate during intercourse and masturbation. I do not feel this at all now but do feel the need to urinate after I am finished.
Please give me any info with what could be going on with me. I am way too young to be sexually malfunctioning.
has no one answered you yet? i have the EXACT same problem. very slight differences. always was able to reach orgasm on my own (including multiple) and with others. i knew exactly what was needed. i know my body really well and for some reason doctors say i seem completely "normal."
i have pcos and therefore don't menstruate regularly. i got off the pill a few months ago (just felt like getting off the hormones) however after not getting my period and having a loss of overall sensation down there, i got back onto the pill...one that was similar to the old one but milder (used to be on Yaz, now on Lo Estrin 24). the dryness is still there. i have almost 0 sensation down there. there is still some but barely. this is also killing my drive overall. i don't understand what is going on. i'm only 31 and have never had issues like this before... HELP!
Just to let you know the problem is that it is always assumed that it is psychological. if men have sexual dysfunction so can women. It drives me nuts when thats suggested when we know that's not the case. A psychologist is not always the answer.
I have a similar problem. It started in my early thirties. I thought it was due to bad health and smoking. I quit smoking and things did get significantly better. I can now orgasm like I used to and my sex drive is much better. However, when I orgasm there is a lot less sensation, almost none. I try to explain it to doctors and they are not helpful. Its like having a ghost orgasm. Everything happens the same way , lubrication, contractions, blood flow, but then something is missing intensity/feeling wise. I dont think it is hormonal, although that my play a part, or circulation either. I think it is some kind of nerve damage, possible something like diabetic neuropathy. Have you blood sugar levels checked and your get a glucose tolerance test. I also suffered a bad fall in my thirties (to my tail bone) and wonder sometimes if that played a part.
I have the same problem, but it started some time in my forties. It has gotten to point of near numbness. I, too, was wondering if it is neuropathic. Ghost Orgasm is a good description. For me, if I do orgasm, I imagine the sensation I get is how it would feel if I were paralyzed. I know it happened, but my vagina doesn''t know about it.
I have a friend with a similar problem. She is 51, so there are menopause issues involved, and she has suffered a major nervous breakdown following a long period nursing her dying husband. She now has difficulty orgasm from soley manual / penile vaginal and clitoral contact, and also from oral and fingering. She has some success with using vibrators on her clit and also anal penetration. I am a new male friend of this lovely lady and would like very much to help her regain at least some of her former feelings, or learn of other ways to stimulate her.
Hi needhope, I am 47 years old and when I was 21 I lost all feeling during intercourse and then 14 years later I lost all my clitoral sensitivity as well. Recently a close family member was diagnosed with a rare enzyme deficiency that is a genetic/metabolic disorder. This disorder can cause sexual dysfunction as it affects the muscles, heart and brain. Not everyone is affected the same way. I believe it is also an extremely under-diagnosed disease. When a woman has a sexual problem a doctor is likely to think it is a psychological rather than a medical problem. If you have medical insurance, please see a specialist in genetics and metabolic disorders and have yourself tested for an acyl-carnitine deficiency. There are all kinds of symptoms from diarhea, hip discomfort, vomiting, and tiredness. Like I said not everyone is affected in the same way. In rare cases, the only symptom may be mild mental retardation. Please get help for yourself. They test babies for this disorder now but they didn't used to so I believe a lot of people could have it and not know it. Since it affects the muscles and nerves, the vagina is a good place for this disease to hang out with over 8000 nerve endings in the clitoris alone. Good luck to you and please don't hesitate to post a message if you have any questions. I just want to help other women with this heartbreaking disorder. By the way, there IS treatment for this disease.
please help. i don't know what to do, or what to ask for, or even the first step to take. i went to my gyno and he pretty much dismissed it saying that its just something that affects certain women. i have never had an orgasm, and i have no idea of the pleasure thats supposed to come from sex since i have no sensation in my clitoris or vagina (from penetration) i'm only 23 and its something that has affected me deeply as i feel flawed and it gets in the way of building a relationship with anyone remotely interested in me. i really don't know where to go, or what to do. if anyone has any advice, please, help.
I have had the same issues. It started when I was 20 and 3 months pregnant. I am now almost 25 and now I have decreased clitoral and nipple sensation. I have seen my ob and a specialist. None have any answers. I have reciently been talking with my chiropractor and had a lower lumbar mri to see if it is neurological. Everything was fine on that aspect. He has been talking to a hormone specilalist and they said this is a common problem with people with pcos. They are testing all my hormone levels and going to start me with meds to help regulate me out. hope this helps. but to the previous poster I also have hip problems (quite a bit of pain) always tired frequent diarhea and quite a bit of pain if my cervix is touched during intercourse. also pain in uterus area after incercourse. I will defintly ask about this new disorder you mentioned. thanks
I have some other interesting information: A woman can remain, for the most part, asymptomatic for most of her life until something like childbirth can bring on more symptoms. In fact, when a child is diagnosed with this disease, the mother usually has it too but is not diagnosed until the child is. This is typical of this disease. I've been searching for 26 years and I'm determined to make it easier for other women. Good luck and post a reply if I can answer any more questions.
Seriously, with so many women with this symptom, how can there be no MD's that specialize in women's sexual health. It is ruining my life, which sounds dramatic, but if a man lost feeling in his penis, I am sure there would be multiple tests ordered ASAP. This has been 2.5 years for me and I've been to a psychologist, PMD, OB/GYN, used Viagra (doesn't work), and seeing a neurologist which I hope will help. Good luck everyone.
Exactly! I have been telling my husband that if I were a man, I would say that I would be getting taken way more serious than I am now. I had one GYN tell me to lose weight and relax. UGH! I know my body!! I just can't figure out what the heck is wrong with it! and it is NOT in my head! I am so frustrated and heartbroken at this point.
You are so right they say men's problem is physical but always want to say that the women's problem is phycological. Why isn't there meds for blood flow to the clitoris there always trying to come up with something for the PENIS?
You are so right they say men's problem is physical but always want to say that the women's problem is phycological. Why isn't there meds for blood flow to the clitoris there always trying to come up with something for the PENIS?
I have basically the same problem as many of you above, but mine is a little different. I am 20 years old and i lost my virginity when i was 15. i have never had an orgasm and my libido has always been very low as sex has never been a large priority in my life. I have been dating someone for a year and i am very attracted to and deeply in love with this person yet i do not have any sexual urges and i can not reach an orgasm. i have read and heard countless times the way to orgasm is to teach yourself how. i have tried this theory and i just am not able to stimulate myself, nothing happens, no arousal what so ever. I also rarely feel any sensation during sex, i can feel him inside me but it doesnt necessarily feel good. i am currently having sex to make my partner happy and feel close to him. i want to be able to be an active participant and enjoy it as much as he does. please help me!!!
Shannon, I think you still have a good chance- you are young. Get hormones tested, experiment with sex toys. I used the Eroscillator and it was amazing. Many women who haven't been able to orgasm can. Even get a book on pleasing a woman (Four hour body by Tim Ferriss touches on it). Keep trying. My problem is I always had orgasms fine and have now totally lost sensation in my genitals. So frustrating.
I had a back issue...physical therapy and meds and the lasting result is a coming and going numbness in my toes and genitals.. its crazy.. its like my vagina falls asleep (all external) feels just like when your foot falls asleep. What do you know and what do you suggest?
I'm 25 and have the same problem as most of the previous posters. I'm so frustrated. I have been married and with the same man for 6 years now, we always had an amazing sex life and I was able to orgasm every single time we had sex. Now there's just no FEELING anymore, even alone it's just not sensitive anymore like it used to be. Now I almost avoid sex as I never get turned on anymore and when I do try it's always to no avail. I'm so frustrated and I want answers desperately. We'll be on insurance soon, I hope someone can help.
I hope I can help at least someone...I just had a consult with a female urologist in California that specializes in female sexual dysfunction. She said my testosterone was low (it showed up as normal on the lab, but her goal for someone young (20's-30's) should be 45-120. She wants me to try compounded testosterone cream. She also thinks I may have pudendal nerve damage (I have 4 kids)/inflammation or stretching. I need a pudendal nerve latency test (which I just found out the closest to me is Cleveland Clinic, so not sure how I will get out there.) I did try Viagra, but it did not work, but she said that using daily Cialis may increase blood flow and help repair the nerve. She wants me to get my DHEA levels and free testosterone levels taken, since that wasn't on my basic panel. Good luck to everyone. I still have libido, and lubrication, but not really enthused about it anymore since I can't feel it, so why bother?
Did you check at UC Davis in Sacramento? (They have info. online about testing thru their Internal Med Dept.) I have same problems of loss of feeling inside and outside vaginal area. I am 41, and went from being normal, to after having first episode of Prinzmetal Angina, to almost all nerve feeling down there, probably 99.7% gone. This happened Jan 2009, and I also cannot feel any arousal feelings. Its like being paralyzed in a way. All good sexual feelings just gone. I have seen pudendal nerve specialist in Phoenix AZ and he is not fully convinced its pudendal nerve neuropathy, but will do hysterectomy for severe pelvic varicoses. I am going to ask about latency test. I also have had problems with hip pain, joint pain, Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, pre-diabetic, SI joint dysfunction, memory problems, and occasional nerve pain and numbness in fingertips and feet. I believe I have pudendal nerve damage from suffering multiple vasospasms from Prinzmetal Angina for over 1 year before being diagnosed and treated with nitrogylcerin. It's crazy I had them multiple times a day, everyday for months. At the time of my diagnosis, they thought I had blocked artery. I thankfully didn't, but one of the spastic arteries was a femoral artery, that supplies blood to pudendal nerve. So its gotta be related. I have seen 3 gyn, 3 neurologists (even at Barrows Neuro Institute), uro-gynecologist and no one can tell me what could possibly help or was caused this to happen. My insurance covers a lot of routine stuff, but when it deals with nerve issues, won't pay because I have not been dianosed with diabetes or MS etc. It's crazy. My life, like most of us here is hard everyday. My only salvation is that my husband is supportive. But I would like to know how everyone deals with this. I feel like I have died emotionally. I am not sure how else go put it.
I have noticed a few of you ladies mentioned having some sort of pain issues; so I thought I might mention, in case you haven't thought of this before, that if you are on any type of narcotic-especially pain medicine-that that might be contributing to your problem. I have been on pain meds for 10 years and xanax for 3 years, and cannot reach orgasm if I have sex if I've recently took my medicine.
I have a similar problem. I am 20 weeks pregnant with my first child and noticed about 2 weeks ago that I have very little clitoral sensation. My husband ALWAYS performs oral sex on me before vaginal sex, and it's always felt so good I didn't even want to reach an orgasm. But now I can barely feel it! Has anyone else had this problem while pregnant, & if so, when did the loss of sensitivity go away (if ever)?
I'm 22 weeks pregnant and just started noticing this same problem. It's sort of been something I've struggled on and off with but usually i would chalk it up to us trying to get in the mood when we were both just to tired or something. This time we both definitely had our heads in the game and we were really int it but I just could not get there. I would go through periods of it just feeling like a nice relaxing massage to feeling like he was licking my knee. It's frustrating because it doesn't feel like i can just sit back and enjoy the ride anymore like I used to. I have to work much harder for my orgasm, If I'm to have one at all. Often I have to give myself some anal assistance but even that isn't working so well anymore. Like you, I'm really hoping that this is temporary but very concerned that this is just a new phase in my life.
I am 22, I've had no problem with Orgasms,and I've had a very sensitive clitoral area for the first 15 years of my life. I had my first orgasm when i was about 3 ( i figured it out myself). I always thought that my sex drive or sensitivity was OVER-active, until i was about 14, It feels like when i was 15 i had peaked sexually, because since then I've been losing sensation in my clitoral area, It is very hard for me to have an orgasm, sometimes i have a non-orgasm (work my way up to it, then no pleasure/release) AKA-"Ghost-orgasm" - i get those when i'm stressed. Sometimes I cannot tell that i have to go pee until i'm doubling over cramping. I also (as mentioned by some people before) have pain on my cervix during intercourse, and i don't like it to be touched when i'm having sex. Something that i noticed that was not mentioned- when i was first starting to lose my ability to feel stimulation down there i had chills in my vaginal area. I would get chills when i sat a certain way, then i started to get them regularly -immediately after i was aroused and it would kill my arousal.I thought that it was depression at first, but i'm way past the few months that i was depressed when i was 16. (no medical treatment for it either) As my sensation has been diminishing so have the chills, and at the same pace. I first had sex/sexual activities when i was 19. I've still been able to have an orgasm, but now it's harder than ever, and my clit just hurts if it's touched. I have frequent UTI- and I thought i had nerve damage because of them. I can't feel when i have one now, but that's because it feels like i always have a slight UTI 24-7, of every month. I have only been on birth control for 3 months, and i have no problem with wetness or sex-drive, so i do not think that it is hormonal.
I have not seen a doctor about this yet, and i know it's not psychological. I am scared that it may be something that has been mentioned by people in previous posts, or that it might be diabetes (poor circulation). Thank you guys- i have read every post-as they are my only means of information on this right now.
Hi there, I know this post is from last year but I just had to tell you I am in exactly the same position. I have had regular UTIs for years and I think it must have finally defeated me. I had them every time I had sex and drank alcohol, now I have pretty much stopped doing these things because I couldn't live and work when I constantly had UTIs, and now I seem to have lost all sexual feeling in my vagina except for the capacity to feel pain. I think I have vaginismus, but also I too can literally feel nothing now when my boyfriend or I touch me. I cry whenever we attempt to have sex, and it's been making me feel so so depressed I can't get up in the mornings. I am going to invest in a vaginismus kit to dilate etc. but I'm scared that although that may help the vaginismus, it won't bring back the feeling. I'm broken about this, if you have had any luck I would be so grateful if you shared, I'll try anything at this point! Thanks
OMGosh! Finally some others that seem to have at least some of the symptoms that I have.
I am 42 year old female. Happily married for 22 1/2 years. 3 kids, all normal vaginal deliveries. On no medications, other than b12 injections for pernicious anemia. Husband has had a vasectomy 11 years ago, so no birth control for almost 12 years.
As best I can tell my symptoms began about 6 years ago. I thought that I was just peri menopausal and going through a low hormonal spell, because I just didn't feel "horny" for lack of a better word. I didn't get aroused at all with kissing, my usual erogenous areas (neck, back, nipples) didn't send signals of excitement to my genitals. Lubrication became a problem. I would mention it to my dr/nurse practitioner as a lack of desire problem. Most just said things like "well, as we age..." yada yada. I was not yet 40, and I loved sexual contact. Then I went to a GYN and told her, again, and she had me set up for all kinds of blood work. I had T3 Free, FSH, CBC, Blood glucose, Thyroid....on and on. All came back normal. She told me to lose weight (I weighed 150 at 5'5") This was on Valentines day, no less. I just sat in the car and cried.
Around this time I began to have lots of constipation and difficulty emptying my bladder, and pain from the intersection of the right leg across abdomen to about the pubic bone at the instant that my brain registered the orgasm was starting. That went on for a few weeks.(I now believe that this was the time that that nerve was dying). I went to a different OB/GYN and had a transvaginal ultrasound thinking that i had ovarian cancer or something. I asked the lady dr about reasons for not being able to feel arousal, if my testosterone was in the normal range. She said, if hormones are normal, then it's mental. No other interaction with me at all. Sent me to the ultrasound tech, she did the test and said all looked good. I asked her about what would cause me to only have the clitoral nerves, at what I would call the 11 and 1 o'clock positions, working. She had never heard of that.
Then I realized a few months later, that I couldn't react to my husband caressing my sides. I had been very, very ticklish all of my life. Now my body just didn't respond to that kind of touch. My feet, sides, back. Nothing. That's when I went to a different dr. She wanted me tested for MS since the symptoms were so global and not centralized. She also tested my B12 levels, which were almost non existent. After the 3rd weekly injection, I felt the mental fog lifted, and had hope that the nerve endings would get better as well. It has been a year and a half, and the nerve endings continue to die. Hasn't helped them at all.
If anyone has anything they think might help, I am so hopeful to hear what has helped any of you. Since the clitoral nerves are completely non functioning, the gspot has been our only erogenous area, and now it is increasingly harder to arouse. I am fading fast, sexually and it is so scary. Still no insurance, finally working with regular income, just not eligible for insurance yet.
Sorry it's so long. Just wanted to see if anyone had any answers.
I've experienced similar sexual issues as many of the previous comments, but wanted to give a little information from my experiences. I found this thread because I too no longer have "tingly" feelings or sexual sensations during intercourse.
I have however made some advancements in my ability to have intercourse. After my husband returned from a 16 month deployment, intercourse was painful and the thought of it created tense reactions. Come to find out from a family practice doctor 6 months ago, I was experiencing pelvic floor tension. The muscles inside my vagina were literally uptight and would not relax. To make matters worse, the muscles would tense further upon penetration, therefore making sex extremely painful. When the doctor listened to my concerns of not being able to wear tampons and having pain during PAP exams, she referred me to a PHYSICAL THERAPIST that specializes in women's health. I was nervous, confused and excited all at the same time because I had no idea how a physical therapist could help me with my vagina.
After 8 weeks of relaxation exercises, "stretching" of the muscles inside the vagina, and keigles (spelling?), I can now have sex with NO pain at all. Now I just have to figure out how to get the sensation back. The therapist did tell me that the neurons can get confused sometimes when pain is involved and that you have to "retrain" your brain through visualizations of desire to reconnect the pathways, but I'm not 100% sure if that will resolve my lack of sensitivity.
Since women's health specialists are probably really rare, I would recommend that vaginal pain sufferers start with the website vaginismus.com. Don't let doctors continually tell you that you should "scheduled sex" and "use more lube" because we KNOW that's not the problem. Good luck all!
I also used to have really great, amazing sex, partnered and solo. About 2 years ago, after I turned 21, most of my sensitivity went off over night. I have had sexual trauma but not near the time of sensitivity loss. It is super frustrating and heartbreaking. Things are a little better now, but it never really feels right. I miss my mind blowing orgasms, my ghost orgasms make me want to cry. I am not diabetic. I do not have gastrointestinal distress. I do not have regular pain. I still want sex and get lubricated, but then it is so frustrating and sad and disappointing. I feel broken and like crying whenever I think about it. Please please someone help us.