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Losing virginity after 30

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I'm a 30-year-old female and still a virgin. In fact, I've never even been in a relationship. What scares me is that my virginity is gonna scare off most men. Even if I lie and say that I've only had sex a couple of times in my life, they're still gonna figure it out by my body language, inexperience, what have you.
Also, I read that losing virginity at a later age is much more painful that losing it when you're still in your teens, and that if one starts to become sexually active at my age then it will be difficult to ever derive much pleasure froom sex. One gynec. said that late teens is the ideal age to lose it. Is it true?
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replied November 20th, 2011
Community Volunteer
I can't comment on what men will think or not. I and sure won't mind that you are still a virgin. It is unusual, but not a problem. You will pick up experience pretty quickly.

As long as you have been keeping fairly healthy and masturbated frequently, your vagina should be just fine, with the walls toned and functioning. The older you get, the more important regular sexual arousal and orgasms become to maintain a healthy vagina. You should also do some kegel exercises to maintain the tone of your pelvic floor muscles.

Enough lubrication and relaxation can do wonders during first time penetration. There is no reason to believe that you will have more difficulty than a teen girl. You might not even have much of your hymen left. Have you taken a mirror and looked at what is going on?
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replied November 20th, 2011
Hi Kristin,

Thanks for the quick reply. Yes,i've taken a mirror and my hymen is partially intact. I masturbate regularly and work out a lot. Still, it's obviously not the same as being sexually active. I also read that at my age it's better to go to a doctor and have them break the hymen with medical instruments.
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replied November 20th, 2011
Community Volunteer
I am not sure where you are reading all this. I am sure it is well intentioned, but not accurate. After your estrogen surge during puberty, your hymen folded back on itself and thickened into a very elastic ring around the outside edge of your vaginal entrance. This was the last time your hymen changed due to something to do with age.

If you want to have a doctor remove it, do so. Masturbating with a dildo or vibrator will have the same effect. You can even use more and more fingers I'm your vagina while you rub your clitoris. If you want the name of some reliable online sources of sex toys in the USA, pm me.

It is normal to be apprehensive about your first time. Even more so at your age. There is however nothing to be afraid of. Every women goes through it, very very few have issues with their hymens, and even then, it is mostly due to an imperforate or septate hymen.
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replied April 30th, 2013
am nearly 30, a female and i am a muslim and my religion prohibits sex before marriage.Am still waiting for the right guy and i am very relaxed about my virginity although i have heard stories it will hurt the first time i have sex, don't know how true this is but am looking forward to the experience.
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replied April 30th, 2013
Community Volunteer
The choices you made is perfectly fine and there is nothing wrong with saving yourself for your future husband. Each woman has to make the choices and decisions for herself.

Only about halve of all women will bleed or have pain during first time intercourse. As long as you do not have a septate hymen (two or more holes with fleshy bridge between them) it should be ok.

Best of luck!
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