Joined: 24 Apr 2008 Posts: 10 Location: Stockholm, Sweden
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Thanked:1
looking for support Posted: 04-24-08 06:45am
It seems as though most of us are here for
the same reason; to talk about, ask about
and get advice about various EDs.
And yes, that's why I'm here too.
For a couple of years now, I've been
starving myself, but not on purpose. It
started when I was 16 and I met my
boyfriend-at-the-time. He was looking at
girls who looked nothing like me, and all
I ever wanted was for him to look at me
that way. He never did. He was over
protective and extremely jealous (I have
no idea what so ever why I stayed with
him). I was so caught up in my chase for
his attention that I forgot to take care
of my body.
When I was 17 the teachers sent me to the
school nurse, my weight had then dropped
to 43 kg (94.7 lbs). I am 163 cm tall (5'
4") and very petite to begin with, so I
nor my mum ever saw anything. And I never
thought about it, as I had no appetite at
all.
Not until I broke up with this guy and got
together with a new one, it changed. The
new guy got me into climbing and as I
started to work out more; I ate more. I
gained 7 kg in 2 months and all was well.
Until now. I broke up with the new guy as
well, and I kept on working out for a
couple of months, then I moved from home
and was so caught up in packing and stuff
that I couldn't find the time to go
climbing. I've got time for it now, but
still I don't go work out.
And living by yourself this early in life
(I'm 20) means that money could be a
scarcity, I very rarely eat properly. I
usually skip breakfast, I'd rather sleep
longer in the mornings. I have lunch, but
never very much (money, yet again) and I
never take the time to make dinner.
I'm just no longer hungry, and I keep
fainting all the time.
I don't have a scale in my apartment so I
have no clue how much I weigh at the
moment, but I'm too scared to find out.
There is no one near me I can talk to. All
my friends are a little plump and adores
my body. They keep telling me they want a
body like mine, and are jealous of me
because size 4 is too big.
The only one I've got just moved to
Paris.
There must be a million people here that
feel just like I do. I don't want to call
myself anorectic, as I don't see myself as
fat nor am I -trying- to loose weight, yet
I keep loosing.
Has anyone a tip for how to get out of it?
I don't want answers like; "it's all in
your head" or "just set your mind on it"
or "just eat", but it feels like you're
not the kind of people who would do that.
I'm grateful for any reply I can get,
whether it's a tip or just a "I know how
you feel" (the latter is very
appreciated).
Thanks for your time,
E
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DemolishedMuse
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Apr 2008 Posts: 10 Location: Stockholm, Sweden
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Posted: 04-25-08 02:46am
No?
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nightangel73
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Nov 2005 Posts: 2368 Location: North Carolina
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Thanked:1
Posted: 04-27-08 10:47am
Do you just not eat because you have no
money for food??
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DemolishedMuse
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Apr 2008 Posts: 10 Location: Stockholm, Sweden
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Thanked:1
Posted: 04-30-08 03:21am
Jeez, thanks for the support. I'm
flattered...
Of course I have money for food. My
parents wouldn't let me go without. All
I'm referring to is that that was how it
started. Maybe I didn't express myself
properly. *looks at post* Hm... no, maybe
not. Ah, well.
But, please, rub it in my face, push me
down a little lower in the ground, a few
more inches won't hurt.
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nightangel73
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Nov 2005 Posts: 2368 Location: North Carolina
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Posted: 05-04-08 21:35pm
Oh okay. Yes it's just came across like
that the message. I hope you get better so
you can enjoy life one day. Food is
awesome.
I think you have a problem with being
lonely and you seem to be you under
depression and that's why you don't eat. I
think if you get that straighten out you
will do a lot better. You need like a
supportive mate. Then you probably be
hungry again.
Good luck!
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DemolishedMuse
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Apr 2008 Posts: 10 Location: Stockholm, Sweden
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Posted: 05-05-08 05:21am
Well, that might be it, but I wouldn't go
"mate-hunting" just to maybe feel better.
That will come when it does.
Telling me that food is awesome, or
anybody in my shoes, is not a very good
idea. You probably just want to cheer me
up or something like that, but hearing how
good you think food is, is not helping.
But thanks.
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nightangel73
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Nov 2005 Posts: 2368 Location: North Carolina
Thanks: 10
Thanked:1
Posted: 05-06-08 19:20pm
DemolishedMuse
wrote:
Well, that might be it, but
I wouldn't go "mate-hunting" just to maybe
feel better. That will come when it does.
Telling me that food is awesome, or
anybody in my shoes, is not a very good
idea. You probably just want to cheer me
up or something like that, but hearing how
good you think food is, is not helping.
But thanks.
Why not mate hunting? It comes like magic
for some people but certainly not for the
rest of us. I went mate hunting online for
several years and I did found my mate! I
never gave up. Should I had given up I
would be still lonely now definetly. Don't
believe when people say that you can't get
what you want because you can get what you
want if you work hard on it.
And sorry for telling that food is
awesome..
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Users who thank nightangel73 for this post:
DemolishedMuse
DemolishedMuse
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Apr 2008 Posts: 10 Location: Stockholm, Sweden
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Thanked:1
Posted: 05-14-08 08:31am
Well, the thing is, that I am already in
love. And he's in love with me. But he
lives in Paris and I live in Stockholm,
Sweden, and none of us wants a
relationship at the moment (quoting him:
"When we're together, we're together").
That's why I don't feel like mate-hunting.
I am perfectly happy with being single.
No worries, just thought you ought to
know.
And lately, I've been going to this
support group for girls with EDs and other
problems. They're helping us out, and
things are getting a little better. They
proposed psycho-therapy, but I said that
all I need right now is a new town, warm
weather, someone I love (and who will love
me back) and no work, which is exactly
what's gonna happen on the 6th of June.
I'm going to Paris to see this guy. Things
might just clear up after that, who knows.
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