I hate sounding low, although the majority of time when alone low is how i feel.
I feel lonely and worthless, Although I am only 18, All of my friends have settled down and most have children, that really hits home and makes me re-evaluate my life. I hate feeling alone, I never seem to attract the right men,
My last relationship was 4 months ago in which i left my violent ex(which i posed a fourm for) he has still contacted me but i still do not reply.
I have seen that he has now settled down(by his facebook) Although i dont feel jealous of the girl i feel quite in turmoil as to how he is representing her and showing her off to everybody, I mean we lived together, i done everything for him and his family, even things i didnt aggree with just to keep him happy but he NEVER showed me off or claimed to be in a relationship to alot of people
this hurts me alot...I feel as if i was just there for sex and to serve his family...I feel like crap...my self-esteem has lowered even more than it has.
Alot of people have told me that hes only showing her off because he still feels rejected by me so he's trying to hurt me, which i agree with, i know his personality but he is so sly in trying to contact me behind her back but i know he is hurting too.
I wish I could just rewind time and erase chapters of my life.
I always seem to attract the wrong type of men, ones that always try to change me or just lay theyre hands on me
Lately I have been throwing myself around, I just dont care for myself or life anymore but I regret this, I regret that despite people have hurt me to top it off Im hurting myself, Im adding to my pain.
Im at that stage where I just want a stable relationship someone i can trust, someone i can love.
It sounds to me like you need to get your head out of that relationship. Staying in contact with the guy will most likely bring more problems into your life. Besides, can you visualize him breaking up with the girl he is with, getting back together with you, changing his violent mentality, and maturing to the point of a happy relationship? That sounds like a stretch. Put your mind in another place. It appears that you are a type of person who is much happier when together with someone rather than alone. Most of us are that way but you MUST learn to be happy on your own. Find things to do when nobody is around. There are many people out there who would love you the way you need to be loved. You MUST have patience. Don't waste your beauty on those who do not appreciate you. If you like to read, get the book "a mans search for meaning" by victor frankl. It is a very powerful book that helps one reflect and find meaning in life. Once you become more content with being alone, you will actually cherish those times. You appear to be starting a new era in your life. Please have some hope and even though you might feel terrible, you MUST believe that things will change and for every smart decision you make now, you will see results that make your life more pleasing. Once you are happy on your own, you have a much better chance of finding someone who truly loves you.