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Lonely and Scared

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I don't know what to do. I feel very alienated from everybody in the world, although there are people all around me, wherever I go. I feel lost. I feel completely alone and scared. In the nighttime is when I especially feel the most frightened. I live by myself. I feel left and abandoned. I usually get drunk every night to stave off the extreme discomfort of going through the night alone. I'd love to be in a relationship with a girl, but I get too attached and they leave me quickly. I'm on disability for extreme depression, extreme social anxiety, and obsessive compulsive disorder. What girl is going to want a man that's on disability for these kinds of things? So that's an unfortunate situation too. I don't know what book to read or what kind of help to seek. I've been in and out of counselors offices and have been on this medication and that medication since I was in middle school, so I don't know what the answer is. Can you help?
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First Helper DylanMcCartney
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replied February 2nd, 2009
Experienced User
DylanMcCartney,
I read your note, and have to say that loneliness is a hard thing to work with. Although I have a circle of friends and many aquaintances, I still go home and to bed at night by myself, and sometimes that can seem lonely and perhaps hopeless. I know that for me, I think about the good things in my life and the good people that I have had the good fortune to know or have known.
I realize that this sounds kind of 'airy fairy' but honestly it works for me, cause sometimes I really do feel like I'm the only person in the world.
I don't have any miracle cures for you, and it sounds as though you have gone through a lot already and have taken various meds. What I can do is listen to you and be a sounding board. Please feel free to discuss things with me, I care and I want to help (at least as much as a redhead in her late 20's can do).

Talk to me,
Wendy
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replied May 25th, 2009
depressed, lonely, and scared
my entire life is coming apart. i have spent 13 yrs building a dream career (for me) only to watch all fall apart (because of the economy of construction). i am 47 yo, single dad for 6 yo girl (sole care giver - her mom left 4 yrs ago), i am care giver to my 85 yo mother, i am losing my office and income, and am very lonely. loneliness really hurts because theres no one to share with or turn to. i family nearby doesn't care. the family far away cares, but can't be here. i don't know what will happen and i am very scared. i have lost any control i thought i had. the pain is debilitating. sorry for whining but i can't stand dragging my little girl down with me. someone please help!
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replied May 30th, 2011
Hi I realize this post from 2009. Was gone for a while, but shld have clearly been here and stayed but so much hit my life as if it cldn't get worse. I sure hope things improved in ur life since u wrote this, but being "me"-It seems that since 09 to now 5/11, it was like a month. Time just passed by and well things did get worse. I too, am alone and not only do i "feel" alone, I am. Now there are distant friends who offer to do things, but that's not what we want/need, as we need our family, and sometimes, we just can't have it. It's as if ppl enjoy seeing you down and they can't have any part of it. I am different as I will be there to help-but not so on other end which hs made my life hell literally. Alone isn't the word and although I was Ms domesticated diva, when depression wasn't previlant, I had my world rocked by a man who claimed he understood my depression and he literally pulled the rug out from under me and well that ended in 05 for good--needless to say, i've not had a relationship since. About 3 short term and I mean short b/c I found out what they were about and ended it, but have yet to find a person and as u stated, who wants someone w/this problem?Ppl in general, have so many demands they want to put on you-you want to stay away from them anyway-in that they want to put THEIR life on you and tht's wrong anyway. It's hard and admittedly it's going to take a special person that is deserved.Ok so we're depressed, but notice when tht right one comes, we seem to snap out? It's about timing for real-and that 1 week u may just be out of the woods and the right female comes ur way is the time to jump at it and you're less likely to fall prey to the depression anytime soon at least and if/when you do, you will hv an established relationship hence understanding. I wish you the best and know, I'm going thru it too, a female-and you'd be shocked if you saw me and never think I suffered from depression-unless you come to my home and shove ur way into my life-then ppl see the real me. I am experiencing a lot of that where i just moved to-it's uncouthed, but it's happening and my colors are showing. LOL-GOTTA A LITTLE. For most part-oh yeah-it's no fun and nobody knows that just that cup of coffee and understanding can make a difference. Matter of fact, recently had long time male friend who knows, use my sickness against me via control and it is abusive. I cut him off after 21 long years of so called friendship. Yes that hurts badly, but if I ddn't i'd have kept dealing w/it just to "have a friend." Not worth it to me anymore. Good luck to you.
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replied December 25th, 2011
i found this post by searching lonely and scared. that's exactly how i feel right now. i always have trouble with communication and self expression. I have trust issue. It's really difficult for me to really open myself up to anyone. I have a feeling that people wouldn't like me or think im annoying. I don't trust anyone enough to talk and share my problem with them. I'm scared of life. I'm scared of death. I'm scared of sickness/failure/and being such a disappointment for my mum.
I find myself focusing too much on bad things that have happened or might happen in the future. The more i think the more i get anxiety and panic. I can get lost in my thoughts for hours and hours. Sometimes, it keeps me from doing my work. Night time is the scary time for me too. I don't know why. maybe it's the darkness and the silence. I can't go through a night without putting on music or tv. i think external sound helps lowering the sound in my head. which can be really depressing sometimes.
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replied January 2nd, 2012
You have told enough to realize your condition is very hard. Actually, it fits into what psychologists call depression. As far as it could be a disease, it can be treated and even cured successfully. Perhaps I would think about addressing some specialist to talk it all over. By the way when speaking to a professional, it is usually all right with trust and openness issues -- those are your counselor's problem, not yours. Try talk to a psychologist first
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replied November 20th, 2012
lonely and scared
Im lonely and scared. I lost my career I built for 12 years 2 years ago - and its been downhill from there. I have a severe fear of abandonment since I was put in a foster home at 11 months old - and then adopted into a violent family 1 1/2 years later. my adoptive parents were drunks and violent ,,,beatings were daily,,, humiliation and fear...yelling...they changed my name when they adopted me...at 3 years old...i have a twin sister - it was hard on her too - but she's doing better than me - she's married with 5 boys...im unemployed, never married, no kids, drink too much, angry, scared, alone, in debt...I alienate evryone because of my anger and fear over the past - I cheat on girlfriends because Im afraid theyre going to leave me anyway so I have back up - but of course I always lose both and fall deepr in hole...Ive had therapy off and on for decades - I learned alot but never healed...I wish there was a majic potion - I have overcome in the past - but I always get back to alone and scared...i wont committ suicide - im too scared - i have changed before but fell back - after so much work - just wish this life could be over - and start again clean slate...
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replied November 20th, 2012
Experienced User
be with others companion. I think they may help you to cheer up. in case that it didn't work, go to a specialist i think there something wrong with you maybe Smile
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