Hi Nicole, I am also 19 and I have recently been through some traumatic times. I do understand when people leave you for someone else as it makes you wonder if there is something wrong with you, or why they have done this etc. I know the things that would race through your mind and the things that you would feel.
I also understand that you want to go home as it would make you feel more comforted, in a safer environment, but it isn't always the best as you can then feel restricted and too comfy that it makes you feel more upset.
If you are ever worried about talking to someone, there is always someone to chat to - whether it's a taxi driver, a milkman or someone on the phone at the police. They may not seem like they're there for that kind of help, but they are. I understand that it is hard for you to talk to people because you are shy etc, but if you have the confidence to say how you feel online then maybe that is where you should talk to people. Go in to random chatrooms and talk - and if you feel too shy to do that, find a hobby or activity that you enjoy and find a forum situated about it - that means you can post what you want and you get more understanding and friendly people to talk to you in their own time and who don't overwhelm you.
Listen, I know how you feel and what you are going through and if you ever want to chat feel free to send me a message . I may also be shy but i'll help anyone that is in need ok? take care x
you're not alone,I'd love to be your friend..I'm lonely as well..my parents are always busy,my sister doesn't talk much to me unles there's something important..I have a few friends but they aren't there when I need them..I'm shy and have very little confidence..I'm also unpopular and when I was a little kid I got many bullies..I still get bullies sometimes..I had a bf and I was happy with him,I didn't feel lonely again..but then we broke up because he just used me because I love him too much (until now,although he always hurts me,it's so hard to move on from him),he never loved me..and everything makes me feel depressed..I feel no one really cares about me..but classical music always calms me down try to listen classical music if you like..
I think you`ll find, as you grow older, that you were the NICE person. Good people do suffer more in this world, but we become so much stronger because of that. I wouldn`t trade being compassionate and kind, it is a huge part of my belief system and morals and no one can move me off those. The more you stay true to yourself, the stronger and more confident you will become. You will then start to `draw` people to you as they feel your strength. You can let the unkind ones go by, do not hold onto their hurtful words, but embrace the ones with genuine kindness in their hearts, they are like you. Keep busy, find things that matter to you, get a hobby, walk some old person`s dog to help, surround yourself with good and wise people, dogs, cats, who are unconditional, and you will start to feel empowered and good about yourself. Who knows what you will accomplish in this huge world!
I'm all alone too, a 19 year old boy alone in a huge college by myself. Suffered from depression for years, cut up my fists punching walls and trees to release my anger. I have gotten treatment with medications and seen a therapist but it doesnt help. My parents dont know how to help me, my sister is selfish and doesnt reach out, and my brother is gone and never wanted anything to do with me. I need help- I dont know what I need but I know I need something to help me. I dont know what to do, I am lost and anger sometimes makes me feel like I am going to explode. I need not cliches, I need advice. Help that may help me develop tools I can use to get out of this. Nicole, I understand you. More then you know my friend.
Id rather this post remain anonymous if I can get some help it would be appreciated. I have had major depression since i was 15 and im 17 now and my functioning levels how gotten better to the point where i can function normally. However when i go to sleep i wake up tired and depressed which tells me im still in the category of partial remission and their are still a few kinks to work out. Also my functioning level goes back to normal completely at night around a specific time all the time what does that mean and is their a chance for full remission not just little sparks of normal at night thank you. -john