Lol so heres the story il start from the begining but make it breif iv been living in the uk for about 2 months now and since then iv made lots of freinds but theres one particular friend iv made lol and i suppose the title speaks for itself
His name is Nikolai he just turned 16 like me EXTREMELY cute lol everytime im around him i get really clumsy
Hes from moscow he lives with his mom and goes to the same school as me
so on february 1st i believe i asked him to come over to my place to hang out but turns out my dad is at work till 9:00pm and its only 2:30 now dont worry its nothing dirty or anything like that we started watching a movie in my room at about 7 and he leaned over and one thing led to another and we ended up making out lol )
But..... sighhhh only to have been walked in on by my dad catching me locking lips with him he tells him he should probably get on home ( it was actully kind of funny he was redder than a rose) so my reaction is right away to tell him DAD IT WAS JUST A KISS JEEZ CANT I LIVE MY OWN LIFE but i dont know if anybody reading this has read my previous post which is the story of my parents divorce las year so i didnt fight with him
so since then my dad has been exetremely unfair about me seeing him anymore
lol so basically my question is this hes extremely cute guy who i absolutly love but my dad is being mean and not letting me see him any tips on how to make him ease off
Parents can be unreasonable when it comes to their children. This may be a case where it's a matter of authority to him and he has to get his way because he wants to make sure you know who's in charge.
But it sounds to me from your other post that your dad is a kind, loving, decent human being, so I think you should be able to reason with him on those grounds. Ask him if he wants you to be lonely, since he knows how that feels. Make sure he knows how important it is to you that you are able to have the companionship of men, and that he would be forcing on you the same disappointment that he had to endure.
Some Fathers have in their mind that they will first see their daughter kiss a boy after they say 'I do' and he puts a ring on her finger....that's how unprepared we men can be for our daughter's sexual maturity.
As you read all this...it is firm, in order to be Kind.
When you break the Golden Rule, you need to mend it.
You broke it the Golden Rule: Treat others as you would be treated.
Suppose you came home and found him 'locking lips' in the living room ?
That would not be cool, because it could trip up huge emotional energy for you, for which you would not be prepared. It could be disturbing. That is why Hotels have 'do not disturb' signs. They are for the guests AND the staff.
Basically, you did not make any agreements with your father about making out with your boyfriend in the home that you both share.
I think your actions, while probably fun and pleasurable, were selfish and disrespectful.
You do deserve your own life AND you are responsible for the consequences of your actions and omissions.
If you can see your way to agree that you made a mistake and disrespected your father, There are 4 or 5 steps to make things right, it is the basic format of an authentic apology and an offer of how you think you can rebuild trust.
0. Ask you father what he thought and how he felt about walking in on you. Tell him you want to know how basically how it affected him, so you can understand the results of your behavior. If you already know where he stands (as in, he told you, and you believe what he said), then you can skip this.
1. Say to the person you disrespected/harmed: "This is what I did: <explain your actions on that day>"
2. Say "This is how it affected you, Dad: < explain what you understand is the impact of your actions on your father>"
3. Say "That is not the kind of relationship I want to have with you, <explain the kind of relationship you want to have, hopefully one of respect and mutual concern>"
4. Say "This is what I will do so that I NOT will re-create the same kind of impact on you as before: < explain how you will coordinate or set up agreements on what you can do with your BF and where and when>"
1. I did something
2. what i did affected you negatively
3. I don't want to be that kind of person, I want to be better than that.
4. This is what I will do in order to be better than that.
Part of 4 is recognizing your father's rights and feelings, just as you wish the same for yourself.
If you can get through all of this discussion and agreement with your father, you will be on your way to the mutual respect, and as much freedom as you and your father can agree on. It might not happen all in one conversation, especially part 4.
This is a good way to apologise in all cases. Saying I'm sorry isn't 1/4th of a meaningful mending of a relationship.
I wish you the fruits of taking responsibility....trust.