Living with anxiety

Alright, I'm 15 and here's my story

At the age of 5 my dad, one of my sister and I left my mother for washington. They tell me I cried the whole way there. In washington, I began to have anxiety attacks, where I feel nothing, like I go completely numb. Words don't make sense, and I can't remember who's said what. At age 7 we left for california. Here my dad met my step mom, and my problems escalated. I begun with seeing a therapist, who recommended tranquilizers, and we disagreed. We switched to a psychologist whom really helped me. At age 12 my anxiety was completley gone. My life was good. I could go do anything.

Now fast forward 2 years.

At age 14 in 8th grade near the end of the year I started experiencing more anxiety attacks. I would scare myself essentially with stupid fears. I transfered into highschool the following year and my anxiety started to increase. I would flip out walking to 2nd period. Thinking this would subside, as it did, I never told anyone.

Now for my sophmore year.

This is the big year for me to start my life. Get a job, car, girlfriend, start looking at colleges, make lifelong friends, help my dad build his retirement home, etc.

Not Exactly

Beginning of the year was great. Seemed like I'd have a good year. I started getting anxiety again. I quit football and band, I couldn't even attend night games because I'd start feeling numb again. I'd start getting anxious just from being on the second floor. Now I'm transferring Math classes its gotten so out of hand. I talked to my counselors and they said I have to wait 2 weeks till semester ends. I can't do that. I can't go to p.e. I can't go to math. I've stayed at home for 2 days now. I can barely even leave my room without freaking out. I know I need to go but I just can't.

My parents seem to understand and my mother knows but shes 2,000 miles away. My dad is 1,000 miles away on business, and me and my step mother just now started talking again and I'm embarrassed to talk to her. I'm seeing the same psychologist on the 22nd, and I barely think I'll be able to go to that.

I don't want to live this way.