Living w/ bipolar girlfriend and struggling, should I run?
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Hello,
This is my first post on this forum and I really need someoneâs advice on what I should do. My girlfriend and I have been together for about 7 months. She is 38 years old and Iâm 27. I moved into her apartment due to her losing her job about 3 months ago. There after she ran out of medication (lexapro) due to her losing her health care too!!! It has been a very difficult time for me because she has been in one crisis after another since sheâs a (rapid cycler). Her past is what really bothers me though!
She was in a relationship with a guy for 10 years. She had been broken up with him for a year but was still talking to him when we first met. She admitted to me that she had cheated on him once in the past and was involved in a threesome w/ another girl and a guy she was friends w/ almost 5 years into their relationship (says that sheâs bisexual too). She has also told me that she doesnât remember how many sexual partners she has had over the years!!!! This makes me sick to my stomach to think about it.
We have been very open with each other and we have talked about how I feel and I have read my books on bipolar to educate myself. The mania has finally made its returned though and so too has the hyper sexuality. She spends lots of time in chat rooms when Iâm gone at school and social networks talking to her "friends". Iâm not sure what to think about that because many of them are guys that make comments about her that I would call flirting.
I donât want to go on forever about all the things that has happened in these crazy 7 months, but the bottom line is that I really love her and she loves me and we have talked about marriage someday in a year or so. Do you think that this is a good idea considering her past with her ex? Also, I only plan on getting married once in my live and never want to get a divorce but I have read that the divorce rate among bipolar relationships is very high.
Thank you all for any advice that you might have.
This is my first post on this forum and I really need someoneâs advice on what I should do. My girlfriend and I have been together for about 7 months. She is 38 years old and Iâm 27. I moved into her apartment due to her losing her job about 3 months ago. There after she ran out of medication (lexapro) due to her losing her health care too!!! It has been a very difficult time for me because she has been in one crisis after another since sheâs a (rapid cycler). Her past is what really bothers me though!
She was in a relationship with a guy for 10 years. She had been broken up with him for a year but was still talking to him when we first met. She admitted to me that she had cheated on him once in the past and was involved in a threesome w/ another girl and a guy she was friends w/ almost 5 years into their relationship (says that sheâs bisexual too). She has also told me that she doesnât remember how many sexual partners she has had over the years!!!! This makes me sick to my stomach to think about it.
We have been very open with each other and we have talked about how I feel and I have read my books on bipolar to educate myself. The mania has finally made its returned though and so too has the hyper sexuality. She spends lots of time in chat rooms when Iâm gone at school and social networks talking to her "friends". Iâm not sure what to think about that because many of them are guys that make comments about her that I would call flirting.
I donât want to go on forever about all the things that has happened in these crazy 7 months, but the bottom line is that I really love her and she loves me and we have talked about marriage someday in a year or so. Do you think that this is a good idea considering her past with her ex? Also, I only plan on getting married once in my live and never want to get a divorce but I have read that the divorce rate among bipolar relationships is very high.
Thank you all for any advice that you might have.
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Oh man! You have got to talk to me buddy!!!! I just posted the forum above yours titled "Multiple Scorsese, Manic Depressive Bipolar and Pregnant! Help me please âdesperate fiancée"
I feel like I'm in your shoes! Write me.
I feel like I'm in your shoes! Write me.
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If you can get her back on the meds and keep her on them.
I think that it is possible...check out what resources there are thru medicaid. She could probably be disabled and receive benefits.
If she isn't on meds... I would have to say..RUN
I think that it is possible...check out what resources there are thru medicaid. She could probably be disabled and receive benefits.
If she isn't on meds... I would have to say..RUN
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| willsadventures wrote: | ||
| Oh man! You have got to talk to me buddy!!!! I just posted the forum above yours titled "Multiple Scorsese, Manic Depressive Bipolar and Pregnant! Help me please âdesperate fiancée"
I feel like I'm in your shoes! You know what....I think in both of our situations it would be much better for us to cut ourselves free! I know that its only a matter of time before we are let down. It felt really good to be loved for once in my life, but Im not so sure I would say I could ever trust her because of her past. Yes, she tells me on a regular basis that she has changed since she met me and I am her true love, but I doubt love alone will make things work between us if she doesnt change her lifestyle. Right now im in denile and keep telling myself that It could workout, but I have read almost a million of these post to know better! Once bipolar ALWAYS bipolar. So the only thing to figure out now is how to get out with the least amount of physical and emotional damage! Looks like I will need to speak with a srink after this one!!!!!
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I hear you buddy. I'm in the same situation. I want to end this but i love her. My fear is she doesn't love me. And yes, I've gone through hundreds of these posts as well and they tell me the same thing. Get out! But I just don't have it in me
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ok, you guys are freakin out. Which I get. HOWEVER.....I have bi polar disorder. I take Lamictal. I've been taking it for 3 years. YOU CANNOT GO OFF OF IT. EVER!! If you even stop taking it for a week, you'll end up screwing up everyones life including yours. You gotta be more understanding. It's hard to do if you don't know what the hell is going on. I get that. But you guys will be doing yourselves a HUGE favor if you are the more "forgiving" one sometimes. I feel like if my b/f is not mad at me for something, and he looks at me and genuinely listens, then I get over stuff quicker than most people that are "normal".
The moment someone gets tense, especially my b/f, I start panicking, get mad, say stuff that I cannot stop myself from saying, storming out, etc. It took him awhile to believe how to "handle" me. You gotta ask her what she needs you to do when she's upset. Remember, she cant help it and dont take it personal. you'll hurt her feelings as well as yours. Bi polar people are known to have heightened senses of feelings. It's like everyone else that has feelings. Only ours are 100 times that. When were happy, we are really happy, chatty, etc. When we're sad, we cry over nothing. Mad is the same. A lot of things are just a response to what the other is doing, thinking or acting.
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Replying to the guy with the girlfriend with Bipolar,
All i can say to you is before you marry her make sure you realize that her problems will not go away. You just will learn how to manage a somewhat normal life. I have been married to a man with Bipolar for 10 years now. When i married him we were young and he was not diagnosed yet so i didn't have a clue. He just recently got diagnosed at age 32. Let me tell you my life has been a literal Hell with him. He has left me several times, cheated, lies consistently, and at times acts like he hates my very existence. I never knew what was his problem for years always blaming myself. I now know he is ill mentally and that is very hard to deal with. See your dealing with a persons mind and how they perceive things which their perception is sick and twisted. (Not Normal). So right now I'm debating on should i stay with this person or divorce. I'm 32 and i know i don't want to keep going through this cycle with him anymore. He took himself off of his meds and is taking herbal remedies instead not sure myself if that will work in the long run??? So if your thinking about marrying her and you know what your getting into to, Really think about your future and what you truly want for your life. I know if i would have known what i do now i would have never married him. It's not an easy road and if you're looking for something stable it will never be there, they cant give you what a person with normal thought processes can. I hope this could help someone, i know right now I'm seeking advice on what i should do, stay with this person or move on with my life and find happiness, peace of mind, and a awesome future!
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90% divorce rate means it's not going to work. Dont bet your life on those odds. My perfect angel was lying and cheating so bad that I suffered a horrible depression when I found out. I wish that feeling on no one. Its how they feel so I try to forgive but never will forget. Dump her first because she will ruin your life.
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i could uise some advice too, i'm basically in the same postion except she smokes pot and abuses bars. i cant really put up much of a figt becaouse i abuse heroin. well besides that we almost never see each other and she tried o kill herself once when i left her because i was positive she was cheating on me. i kno i have to leave her but it aint easy. she lied to me about her sexual partners, she first told me sh wasn'n a virgin and she was experienced so we got together, later she claims that she lied and i was the one who took it. i dont really believe it, and she's constantly surrounded by guys, not to mention she's either doing coke, smoking pot, popping bars, or looking for a new high. non of which she does with me. i really tink this girl is goin to drag me down but i want to stick with her if theres a chance. and idk man. i think we both gotta get away from these girls. if there is a chance i'll do it, but if she cheats on me i'm not going to be the one being stabbed.
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it really makes me sad. you nice healthy young men destroying your lives for a woman who will ALWAYS be the same. I have now cut all ties with my BP man, as he wont ever change from the lying cheating leaving me again angry person he is. He is currently shunning me totally from his life, even though i had done nothing wrong to him and he owns me lOTS of money. I have cared for him in all aspects for months and months and he now behaves as he hates me, it is all in his mind, he actually believes I'm doing something wrong to him.He blames me for everything and said the most hurtful untruth things like 'your son does not like you', what is a complete fabrication, my son was terribly hurt and mad, wanting to confront him on that, however it is better left alone. He had a phase of adoring me, literally worshipping me, calling me his angel, writing daily, meeting 3 times a week, to a phase of detroying my self confidence, I was never good enough, I have a nice body, go to the gym, etc, but he had to talk all the time about my body, about my clothes, about my hair, it was rarelly ok for him.And the mad phase started, with terrible displays of anger,blaming me for those, I was literally walking on eggs around him, the most minor thing would set him off, like once he had his socks drying near a window and I forgot and closed the window during the night because of noise, he had a terrible, I mean terrible tantrum over that, would not speak to me for a long time, shouted and asked me to shut up when I tried to explain it was a mistake,it really was major to him. I would say to you young mnen to LEAVE the situation well alone, there are many lovely healthy girls who would be so happy with your love.
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I am the user wickedBengal and I knew that I said I would run back then but I was stupid and stuck it out thinking that my girl was diffrent...boy was I wrong! Our 2 year relationship ended about two weeks ago because I found out that she kept a huge lie from me this whole time, cheated on me with her ex and even gave me an std that she also knew she had but never told me. Those "chat sites" were also a huge deal because she admitted to me that she uploaded nude photos of her body while I was off to school. This comming from a woman that claims I was her soul mate! I am now living at home with my parents sleeping on the floor because of what she has done to me, she ruined my life and I have nothing now. For anyone who is dating or married to a bipolar person I hope that you are able to survive what I have gone threw, because after this I feel as though I am done!
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