Hello. I am caught between two men.
I had lived with one of them for a year. His name was Tim. He works at a fulltime job downtown with cisco, bell and sympatico. He is one of 2 of the most intelligent people I have ever met. He goes beyond general knowledge, of everything. That's been the type of man that I've wanted in a husband. Only, we conflict in every way possible. We broke up a month ago because I lied in the beginning of our relationship about something, and his family found out. They dont like me anymore. I made my mistakes and he has made his. One of the biggest problems in our relationship was the fact he never communicated, he trapped me in and didnt let me go (which is the reason I lied about something in the beginning), and that he rarely ever showed love. A month has passed and he's proving to me he is changing. But I have changed too, I'm goal-oriented and I decided that I am going to work towards a future, have the man of my dreams and settle in with a child or two, and just make the best out of everything. I'm succeeding.
Just recently Tim said he wanted to try again. I still feel we are still too ripe from the break up and that we need to grow up alittle before entering again. Plus, our parents dont agree with it. But I still love him, just not the fights we used to get into because of us always being on different wavelengths.

Simple enough right? No. Because Tim said if I say no, it's game over forever. And all i can see is that the future looks much brighter than the present, but he sees it as me being apathetic. he does not understand.

MEANWHILE, I had recently also met this amazing man. Yes, he fulfilled EVERYthing I've EVER wanted in man, PLUS several bonuses. He has lived a life extremely similar to mine, the day we met we could finish eachothers sentences, we are enthralled by our connection and I cannot describe how I feel. I'm still shocked he even feels the same way about me. I cannot exceed how comfortable and astonished that the man I thought up that would best be suited for me and the life I'd love to serve to my children and husband, would be alive, let alone, so soon arrived. The only problem with him, is that he has apsergers. And he made it clear to me that he has issues with love, because it is a taught emotion for him. Which causes conflict because I am a naturally passionate and sweet person, all the time. If I dont get the same love back, I choke. I asked him about his family, doesn't he love them? he said yes but in fights he focuses on who's right. He says its kind of like a curse, he feels like a robot and he cant help it. He hates it. I am willing to help but I dont know how far I could go.
I see myself with this man as well, but If I choose him, I lose the man I know I can live with, probably the only man who will love me forever, and has seen me at my worst worst, and at my shining best. If I choose Tim, I lose Gabriel, the man of my dreams. Im not a dreamer, but everything fits like a jigsaw puzzle.

I'm at the climax of this situation because Tim is asking for me to tell my parents we are going out again. All or nothing he says. I dont know what to do, I'm so stressed because I've just started working again and managing 2 jobs, going to night school, just about soon to meet my birth mother for the first time, and just started having a social life, fixing my family and figuring out my condition (which seems to be Synthesia. I'm having trouble coping with everything going on.
Please suggest a few things I cant already see, to help me make the best decision, for life.