Life seems purposeless

Well, i definitely am suffering from depression.

I take 40 mg of Celexa, and have for over a year (Wellbutrin before that for over 10 years).
I am on disability for severe carpal tunnel syndrome in both hands.
I need surgery to get off of disability, but i have no insurance. I "make too much money" - but don't qualify for other insurance because of my carpal tunnel syndrome. My hands are getting weaker and it's hard to hold anything heavier than a pound in them. They worsen every day and i don't know when and if i will be able to have the surgery to cure them.
I don't have a job anyways.

I have two daughters - one who is 20, and has been a "traveler" for the past year and a half. Most days we don't even know if she's alive. My 15-year old, who i raised alone from infancy, chose to live with her Dad on the East Coast. I live on the West Coast. She's been gone for a year, and i see her 2-3 times a year.

I only have one close friend who just moved into the same town as me. Yay for that.

I was with a man for five years who constantly told me he loved me but couldn't spend the rest of his life with me. We stayed friends (with benefits) for awhile after we officially broke up. Then he found a 30-year old who lives in SoCal where he lives. I live in NorCal. He went from texting me 2-3 times a day to almost nothing. Then he calls me out of the blue, invites me to spend a week in NYC with him, all expenses paid, buys my plane ticket, then UN-invites me 3 days later because the 30-year old can now go with him.

I seriously don't see the point to my life anymore. My parents live in Hawaii, so i never see them anyways. My brother estranged himself from the family over 20 years ago, no clue where he is. I have no other family or relatives.

I am tired of being lonely. I feel that i am drifting purposelessly. I just can't figure out what i am on earth for if i have no one to give my ove to and no one to love ME. The sadness and loneliness is hard to try and ignore.

My only reason to live right now is to feed my dog, Hercules, and my two cats.