Life is failing for me.

I'm running out of people to talk to about my issues, as far as everyone who is aware is concerned, they're sick of hearing the same story.

I have Aspergers Syndrome Disorder (autism) and I was also recently diagnosed with Joint Hyper Mobility. Before, my childhood was brilliant. I never had anything to worry about, I had loads of friends too. One of my friends, I was very fond of.

He was my life. We were always together. Just when I hit 13, tho, he dissappeared. I love him, too much. Its killing me, knowing that i'll never be within his company again.

Hes took off with a 'bad crowd'. He wants nothing to do with me, hes made that clear. He knows I have strong feelings for him, but all I really want is to be his friend again. I miss him so much.

I can't get over him, I think of him every day. This is only a brief of the story, the whole thing would take up miles of this webpage.

I want to forget him, I don't want to know him or have feelings for him anymore, its destroying me. I'm on anti-depressants, I'm seeing a counselor, and an OT (occupational therapist), etc.

I feel nothing is helping. I miss this person so much, they don't even see it.

I thought i was helping myself when I told him that I didn't want to see him again, never come near me. I thought it was the step towards moving on, but I've crashed again. I want his company so badly. I literally have no friends.

I blame my autism for how my life has crashed around me. Everything was perfect before I was told I had autism, before I told my friends, and thought they would understand...