My whole life I've been afraid of what will happen after I die. When i was around 12 is when I really started to question everything, and cry for hours wondering what will happen. I am now 19, and my dad recently passed away. Since then, everything has been more ... real. Like it's now occurring to me that life is real, and death is closer than I thought. Every night I lie awake thinking about death. If I die and there's nothing else, I have no point to do anything and I will never live in any form again... I can't accept that route. If I go to Heaven, will my family be there? My friends? And the idea of Hell just terrifies me... I can't stop thinking about it, especially after my father died. I'm terrified to live every day, and I am terrified to die.