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let her go so as not to be burdened with me?

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SunnyJim

January 10th, 2012

I am 47. I have suffered with Fibromyalgia for 20+ years. The best years of my life have been destroyed by this condition. Also I have suffered with depression for most of my life even though I try so hard to look on the brighter side of life. The thing is, I have in the last 3 years retired from work and feel the functionality of my health and body slowly deteriorate. I find it really hard to climb the stairs now as the lungs are tired and have less use of them. It's the most frightening part of my life as when I climb 2 sets of stairs I am so out of breath that it feels like I have run a marathon .
On the brighter side of things I have been teaching as a volunteer at a charity for the last 2 months but I find it hard to deal with difficult personalities as the deflate my enthusiasm and I don't really have a lot of that. How could I with such a crippling condition...
I have one of the best wives in the world and she understands whats happening to me. But, I am always thinking of ways to let her go so as not to be burdened with me. I don't see much of a future at the moment and always look at my disastrous past...
What can I do?

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CarolineEF

replied January 12th, 2012

Community Volunteer

Hi SunnyJim and welcome to ehealth: My best advice would be to love her like you did the first day you met...Make every minute count...We never know what lies ahead for either of us, nor what will happen with an illness...If she would have wanted to go she would have left you long ago...There is so much joy for two people with just being together...It brings back all the precious years of life that you have shared...

When the teaching becomes too difficult then let it go...Keep yourself happy...Don't let it wear you down...

Many people deal with some depression in their life...Not everything turns out the way we had hoped it would be...We stand tall when we want to bend....But, we have to....It is life....So we deal with it...

Good luck and I hope all goes well...Don't think of your life as what lies ahead...Think of it as the wonderful joys of today and the sunshine of tomorrow...You are lucky....You have someone who loves you...Just as I would feel about my husband...I send you my love...Take care...

Caroline

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SunnyJim

replied January 15th, 2012

CarolineEF wrote:

Thanks for the comment Caroline the direction you came from is understandable. The actual question I was asking was changed via the moderators. I understand that I must look at my wife and be thankful for her and thank God I am. The only problem is that I posed the question that I am suffering now with what does not look like a severe disability but is! The question was how do I cope from now on as the condition has got worse with not being able to breathe like a normal human being, and I am getting more depressed at the thought of being housebound as my life fizzles away!

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CarolineEF

replied January 18th, 2012

Community Volunteer

Hi again: I find that I cope with hurt by thinking of the person with more hurt...Maybe a child with cancer who doesn't deserve it and had his/her whole life to live...I could go on and on about this sort of coping...Get a hobby...Something that interests you...Read books...Get more knowledge of life...I find even at my age that despite my lousy knees and herniated disc, that life is good...I believe your mindset has a lot to do with how you approach this...Kind of like our learning not to feel sorry for ourselves...Good luck....Take care...

Caroline

P. S. We are both lucky...We have a life to fizzle away...Many people don't.... 4you

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SunnyJim

replied January 18th, 2012

I am sorry Caroline but your comments actually don't help. I am a volunteer working with people with disabilities helping them learn to read and write. I have hobbies, and I don't feel that sorry for myself...I just feel more depressed at being more and more housebound. I don't like the Idea of burdening my wife who has great potential to do what she would like to do in this world. I am sure that dealing with a husband who is housebound is no fun for any woman.
People are born with inabilities and I am dealing with a tough one. I just don't want that for my wife. Theres no cure for Fibromyalgia, there is only a 20% recovery rate and the rest die from some related problem. That's not what I want for my wife to watch me slowly fizzle out...

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	Tags: chronic fatigue syndrome, chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia, Depression, chronic, fatigue, tired, chronic health, best health, best life

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