Hello, I'm a foster child who lived with a family for 16 years before I moved into my boyfriends family. I am 19 now, and my boyfriend is 17, turning 18 in august 9. His mother is charging us 800$ per month to stay. He works downtown and only makes 800$ every 2 weeks. I am still trying to find a job. I dont even have 800$ in the bank.
My boyfriends brother paid 100$ a week but she asked him to stop because he is going to school, he is 19. I am going to school in january, but not this fall (CEGEP) because I changed my career path. My old parents aren't helping financially so I really have no income whatsoever. Still looking for a job as much as I can.
I am considering just leaving and staying over at friends's houses or external family, but I dont have many friends and the family I was in are dangerous.
What I am wondering, is that are there any legal rights against this?
My boyfriend and I are second-guessing moving out and starting a family because now since we are losing money, we can never save enough for a cheap apartment.
Is there any way out of this? Thank you in advance for any advice you can provide.
I guess parents have a right to charge rent, just not something I would do or I agree with. Peronally I think it's mean. I could never take money from my kids. You are in a tough spot and my heart goes out to you because you are so young to have to deal with this type of thing. I have two sons your age and couldn't imagine them being on their own. If I were you I would find a good friend to live with and move in with them. I don't know where you live but 800. seems like a lot of money for someone your age to pay for rent. I really wish you luck and i'm here if you need to talk.
In America parents are legally required to provide food and shelter for their children until they turn 18. They cannot demand money in return. I don't imagine most other countries are much different. They can however charge you money as their child's girlfriend and they should charge you something to help you contribute to the family that is sheltering you.
Whether $800 is reasonable depends on your local economy. When you're fresh out of high school paying half of your paycheck on rent is pretty much normal. In my city, if $800 includes your bills and possible some food it's a pretty sweet deal. I'll totally trade with you.
Welcome to the forum honey..I always gave my parents money once I began work but the whole idea was for you to save money to get your own place..He is making $1600. a month..$800 goes to his parents-where does the other $800 go? Are you all able to save any of that?
I agree with Wendy, $800. a month is too much..I could see 300-400 a month just because money wise he is making decent money for his age..But, you guys had to of agreed to this when you moved in..So, if parents are paying for food, utilities and it is a nice place to live then you are doig well..
If they are staying out of your business and you are not doing all their chores for them I would say hang in there as long as you can..
If you are breaking your back for them then counter offer by showing how much a servant in home costs..Go on line for your area and check out maid service..They could then deduct the rent from your non existing pay..Of course I strongly recommend a nice approach with this idea.
You do NOT want to start a family when you can't even put food on your (own) apartment table...Keep inmind also that what a parent will do for one may not do for another-this is re going to school and paying less to zero rent..
I don't agree with what is going on and I would not charge my son or potential daughter in law..That's just me though..I wish you the best and hope you both stay strong and can make it..kd
Thank you very much for all your responses.
However, my boyfriend found a really nice apartment with alittle bit less of a rent charge. He says we are moving out soon, so we are packing our bags now to prepare. We need someone, a parent to cosign, and if his parents aren't getting involved he says he's cutting his connection. His parents aren't bad people, but his mom is an extremely selfish, childish, manipulative person. I wont go into detail, but I usually say nice things about people whether or not they deserve it, But his mom..I can only say she is a wonderful cook, but she barely cooks anymore because she waits for us to do it for her. I thought maybe she wanted to teach us how to do it on our own, but she fights with us during cooking to the point she just says whatever, if you cant do it my way you migh as well cook hotdogs. She expects us to -just know- what to do for her, 24/7. If we dont, we get penalized.
That's why I'm stressing moving out. Yes it will be a big move, I feel that mentally we are ready for it, but in the long run I'm Sure there will be issues. I just hope we find enough help or advice to know what to do about it.
For now, it's going to be a long long road to stability, financially and emotionally.
I'm glad you two found a nice apartment. I'm a strong believer that if you want to make something work bad enough, you will. I don't believe in charging your children rent so I am really happy for you that you are moving out of his parents' house. Good luck and enjoy your new home.
Niece and boyfriend NEED to pay rent to raise children.
I have my niece(1 and boyfriend(21) and their two infants living with me. I am single and own a 3bdrm/2bath brick home. I have not been charging rent because at first neither had a job or car. I took him around til he found employment. Three months have passed and they have zero savings. I pay bills, food, bought a used car so they could get around. I am a bit of a hard arse but with good reason; I thought I was helping them out by not charging rent. All I asked of them was not to disrespect my home and to do their share of chores. They disrespted my home and I asked them to find a place of their own. He took his family to his mom and step dad's house. They have no running water, the swamp cooler only cools the kitchen and living area, the bedrooms are always hot. They have to go to the back house where the grandparents live to shower and wash clothes and the babies' bottles. Three days of this and I invited them back; after being confronted by the step dad telling me that he's heard "stories" about me ( I'm sure from the niece's boyfriend) of course they are never the good stories. Not once have his parents thanked me for taking in their son in the first place. Anywho, they are back because I have the children's best interest in mind, they are 1 and 3 months, respectively.
Other than the same rules applying, my dilema lies in the fact that I told the boyfriend that I was going to charge rent but I don't know how much to charge. Without asking him I figured he makes roughly 1200 a month bring home pay.
I want them to save money and I've even shared the Dave Ramsey DVD series with them in hopes that they will adhere to his thought process. He graduated, she dropped out when she got pregnant the first time. I've stressed education all the while, she's now taking GED tests; hoping she gets it soon.
I take them to church with me everytime, but all I can do is pray for the best for them; I can't be there 24/7. One other condition of them coming back was that she get birth control (she's working on that).
So, how much should I charge? They have access to washer/dryer, shower, bedroom, backyard, kitchen, stove, car ( new tires, fixed a/c) 2 car garage, safe neighborhood, central heat/air, fireplace, .
I've made a list of several rentals of varying types around town to get and idea of what the going rate is if they decided to move out on their own: ranges are from 350/mo with 300/deposit in undesirable part of town (apt) to 700/mo with 500/deposit. All are 1 and 2 bedroom.
I don't like having to charge rent since they are family, but his family takes money from him: those few days they stayed over there the step dad made him buy a water pump for the car, he took him to work but didn't pick him up after so he had to walk 3 miles in 100 degree weather after working in the heat all day ( outside laborer).
The more I think about it I'm not such a bad person afterall like the stepdad seems to hear I am.
I have thought about charging $60 a week, for a total of $240/month with rules standing.
however, I think I will ask them to research rentals and come up with a fair amount of rent to pay and hope it doesn't back fire on me...lol
Tell me what you all think.