I was with my boyfriend for 3 months. I'm
almost 14 but i lost my virginity to him
last october. I was stupid I know. 2
months after we did it, my parents found
out. Understandably, they were annoyed and
up set and told me I wasn't to do it again
until I was 16. Fair enough. After the
discussion with them, I went up to bed and
texted my boyfriend. the text said "Hey
bbe. My parents found out about us. They
didn't make us break up like I thought
they would. But we can't have sex anymore.
Sorry. I love you.xxx"
That was at 11:30pm. I was expecting him
to be asleep. Instead I got a text back
saying "If we can't have sex anymore, then
I think we should end it. I'm sorry. I
still love you.xxx"
Earlier that evening he told me he'd been
drinking a lot. I was convinced he was
still drunk. I told him that and he said
that to prove he wasn't he'd talk to me
the next day, on the field near his house.
I walked there at 11am the next day. He
walked onto the field, hugged me and said
"It's over." I burst into tears. Since
then, I've sent him numerous angry e-mails
and texts (I have a really bad way of
managing pain) One said that i believe he
used me because his new girlfriend has
slept with everyone in school and he
dumped me as soon as I said no more sex.
He's now stopped talking to me. I know i
shouldn't have said some of the things i
said but he should be able to understand.
He knows the way I deal with things and
why I've said them. If anything, I
shouldn't be talking to him. BUt it hurts
so much letting him go. Plus his new
girlfriend ,who was supposed to be my best
friend, rubs it in my face whenever I'm
around the 2 of them.
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Reptar
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Oct 2007 Posts: 389
Thanks: 44
Thanked:13
Posted: 03-24-08 20:01pm
Okay, listen to what you're saying. Your
boyfriend broke up with you the moment you
told him you couldn't have sex with him
anymore. Is that the type of guy you want
to be with? I can tell you without even
knowing you, you deserve better because no
girl deserves that kind of treatment. I
know how hard it must be to give up your
boyfriend, and this is exactly why your
parents want you to wait until you do it
again. At 13 you can get hurt so easily,
but with some experience, you'll be able
to handle something like this better. I'm
so sorry, and I sympathize but it really
is in your best interest to let go of this
guy and your "supposed" best friend.
You're better than that, and you deserve
better than some guy who only wants sex.
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lonestarguy
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 592 Location: , Hoosierland, USA
Thanks: 10
Thanked:1
Posted: 03-25-08 18:56pm
I couldn't agree more with Reptar. Someone
who is 13 is not experienced enough to
deal with the hurt someone like your ex
deals out.
He's definitely not worth the trouble if
all he's intrested in is sex. I would also
caution you to stick to your mom's
suggestion that you abstain from sex until
you're 16. It's hard to handle the
emotional part of sex at your age and
you'll be better able then.
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fiona05
Supporter
Joined: 21 Dec 2005 Posts: 663 Location: , Norn Iron
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Thanked:0
Posted: 03-25-08 19:09pm
for a 13 year old you write really
articulately. you must be a smart girl.
i'm sorry this had to happen to you.
lonestarguy is right, at this age you are
not old enough for the emotional side of
sex. i don't mean that to be patronising,
i hope you don't take it that way. i know
when i was 13 i was nowhere near ready for
sex. even physically speaking, your body
has a lot of growing to do. so you should
wait before having sex again and make sure
you do it with someone you trust and who
cares about you and it will be a much
better experience.
now that this has happened put it - and
your ex - and your so-called 'best friend'
behind you. you are a really nice,
intelligent, sensitive young lady, you
deserve better.
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Larlen
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Jul 2007 Posts: 71 Location: New York, United States
Posted: 04-03-08 12:28pm
Im sorry to hear about your situation but
everyone is right. Just move on and forget
about him. He only wants to use you for
sex and still your so young what will
happen if you get pregnant?
We know for sure he wont definately be
there for you or the baby if that was to
happen. Move on and find someone special
that you can share something as intamate
as sex with.
Wish you luck!
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Rosie H
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jun 2007 Posts: 1136 Location: Phoenix, AZ, USA
Thanks: 17
Thanked:7
Posted: 04-03-08 14:10pm
I agree with everyone here. Wait awhile to
get that involved with some one. I wish I
would have waited. I started having sex at
13 and it took me 4 years to finally learn
what everyone here is telling you. Now I
know we arent the same but I knew so much
more and was more ready for sex at 17 or
18 than 13. I think you made the right
decision for telling him that you wanted
to wait. That takes a lot of guts and
decipline. I give you so much credit for
having that much respect for yourself. I
also really hate to say this but I think
your parent advise is very good. Beleive
me my father tried to tell me the same
thing except I didnt listen.
Best wishes and I have lots of respect for
you!
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Aunt WeeWee
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Dec 2007 Posts: 165 Location: Amherst, VA, 24521
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 04-08-08 09:57am
Sorri, but in my opinion, sounds like to
me he is a jerk & was only with you
for the sex. You can find much better
& you can find someone that will be
interested in more then just the sex!
Seriously, do u really want to be with
someone like that? & your parents are
rite! 14 is way to young to be haveing
sex anyways. I also lost my virginity
when I was 14 & I wish I could take it
bck.
<3 Chrissy
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fantasticj2
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Feb 2008 Posts: 23 Location: Miami, U.S.A
I'll tell you what i think.. Posted: 04-09-08 15:26pm
I think he is one of those guys who get in
love with you because you butt looks nice.
Hey, my opinion is that he didn't used
you, you got to understand that he can't
live without sex. Telling him that you
can't do it with him no more, broked his
heart in another different way. You know,
i think it was better for you to leave
him, why? well look whats happening now,
he is going out with your best friend, she
wasn't a best friend also, he wasn't a
good boyfriend also too, they both didn't
respect you. I'm really sorry that
happened to you, i know you still love him
alot, that why girls have some reasons to
say that we guys don't love ya as much as
you love us. i know theirs better guys,
but hard to find. But i know theirs some
one for you, try to know the guy first,
and if he turns out like your ex, try to
change him, making somebody change is
nothing against love. If you love someone,
just try to be the best boyfriend ever.
Do me a favor, Don't hurt yourself, i
hate seeing and knowing girls like you are
suffering for a guy who is not even worth
it. I mean, this is what i think, probably
some other people qoute different, i seen
relationships like this, and the girls are
always to get deppressed and hurt while
the guy is just having fun with another
girls...
Take care of yourself, theirs someone out
there waiting for you, you will know
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jodie 16
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Aug 2007 Posts: 271 Location: south wales, wales
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Hey Posted: 04-09-08 15:42pm
Im Sorry i Disagree with the above hes a
boy obviousely theres noo SUCH thing as
cant live with out sex spiteful and
hurting other peoples feelings is one of
them
my boyfriend and i didnt have sex till we
were toghether for six months.
now i have been really ill and havent been
up to it he never pestares me and always
says its ok if you gradually love
somoneyou stick by them.
your a lucky girl he couldnt of been upset
in any other way other than NO PLEASURE
FOR ME SELFISHNESS
You have had a lucky escape good luck
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ladyT02
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Sep 2007 Posts: 238 Location: ,
Thanks: 6
Thanked:3
Posted: 04-11-08 02:08am
wow what a tard lol obviously not the
rite guy for you. and hes a lil boy so of
course hes only gonna try and get to you
just for the sex, hormones are raging at
that age i think. its actually annoying
seeing kids try to act like adults these
days specially were i live lol but thats
jus my opinion. but move on and wait till
you start looking for someone who does
care about you, take care of yourself stay
ontop of your doctor appointments,getting
tested, birth control etc all that good
stuff
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Aunt WeeWee
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Dec 2007 Posts: 165 Location: Amherst, VA, 24521
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Re: Hey Posted: 04-11-08 13:22pm
jodie 16
wrote:
Im Sorry i Disagree with the
above hes a boy obviousely theres noo SUCH
thing as cant live with out sex spiteful
and hurting other peoples feelings is one
of them
my boyfriend and i didnt have sex till we
were toghether for six months.
now i have been really ill and havent been
up to it he never pestares me and always
says its ok if you gradually love
somoneyou stick by them.
your a lucky girl he couldnt of been upset
in any other way other than NO PLEASURE
FOR ME SELFISHNESS
You have had a lucky escape good
luck
I agree! My x & I were together 8
months before we had sex!
