Left side inguinal hernia - open mesh repair. Post op advice pls

My husband is 42 years old and had open surgery for an inguinal hernia on the left side - repaired with mesh 3 days ago. The hernia swelling was in the groin area and hadn't descended into the scrotum at all. He has a wound about 3 inches long along the groin line. We've realised that although we were told about what to expect pre and during the op, nothing prepared us for what to expect afterwards, particularly the pain.

He been doing really well - we pre-empted the constipation and so used a stool softener from day 1 after the op and although bowel movements aren't back to normal he is managing to pass something each day. He's been walking around the house - up and down stairs for the toilet and each day we're taking a stroll just along the road a few yards but not overdoing it. He's pretty tired but I guess this should be expected because of the operation and the body trying to heal itself.

Couple of questions which I hope someone can settle my mind.....his tummy is very distended(really hard and bloated, poor thing kinda looks pregnant!) is this normal and how long will it take to go down as he's finding it quite uncomfortable?

What's the best way to remove the dressing from the wound? Kinda scared about removing it and hurting him.

How long before he will feel able to sleep in bed? He's sleeping in an armchair with feet elevated at the moment.

How long would it be before we know whether there are any complications which could affect our sex life? This is the most worrying part of it all. Some of the stories I've read have been horrific but we were never told before the op that these things could happen. I've very gently helped to masturbate him which has caused no pain (and he enjoyed)and everything seems to be working ok and the surgeon said that he didn't have to go near anything which could cause problems. I was worried as it wasn't until he saw the surgeon about 1 hour before the op that the surgeon said that if he had seen hubby in clinic before he would have said he should have a general anaesthetic as it is better in younger men, however he had no anaesthetist there who could do a general on that day. Just wondered why they recommend a general anaesthetic for younger men?

Thank you so much for all the help and advice on this forum - I've found it invaluable and would have been much more scared had it not been for this. It's made me realise that although it is called a 'routine' operation, there should be much more information given to the patient beforehand on what to expect afterwards and its not just a case of a simple op to push the intestine back in and then you'll be fine. There really is a serious lack in informing the patient beforehand of the risks - until after he had the op I hadn't even heard that there can be problems with the mesh even/

Any advice would be appreciated.