I'm wondering when and how is the best way to leave an alcoholic husband. I've been with him for 7 years and married almost 4. He drank heavily at the beginning of the relationship and I left him because of it but he later stopped (or so I thought) and we got back together. It wasn't until after we were married that I realized he had continued drinking behind my back. Throughout our marriage he has continued to drink, hiding bottles of alcohol all over the house. He took a second job and has been using his cash tip money to buy alcohol which he later hides or drinks thinking I won't find out. I have told him many times that I will leave if he continues and does not get help. When he's drunk he tells me it's not a big deal and he doesn't care but when he's sober he always promises to get help. He seems to be drinking less now but I don't trust him at all since I've seen this behavior before and he was just hiding it better. He is very verbally abusive when he is drinking and he did physically assault me ONCE. I also know that he drives drunk but I know that if I put him in jail I will be unable to support myself. I want to leave him but the problem is that my family is very religious and they do not support divorce for any reason. They made it very clear to me that I need to work on my relationship and they will not help me if I choose to leave. I do not make enough money at my job to leave and I live in an area where there is a very high unemployment rate. I've been looking for a better job for six months and have found nothing. I do have two degrees but this has not helped my job hunt. I don't know what to do...
I am so sorry you are in this position. I can feel your pain.
Most of all my heart goes out to you for the betrayal of your family. How cruel of them to turn their backs on you!! I CANNOT fathom why a family would act that way.... have you had a good sit down, heart to heart with them individually? Maybe they don't understand that this is a very dangerous and unhappy situation for you.
On top of that I think you should seek out a potential roommate. If you can find another (preferably woman) to share the rent, you can get out and start your life over and have the opportunity to do what makes you truly happy and open the door for the man you really want to come in.
I want to tell you that the longer you put it off, the harder it will become. You have ONE life to live. Just ONE... and it could all be over any minute. Live it.. don't lay around and live according to what everyone else thinks you should.
It is NOT THEIR LIFE.
I have been with my husband for 10 years now and I met him drunk. I didn't know how serious it was until later on. I regret marrying him even though I knew his condition. I am now dealing with all the lies that for some reason or another are coming up from years ago to the present time. I can NO longer deal with this anymore and I am planning on living with my friend and her 2 children...I have 4 children with him, and 4 without that are my sisters kids, i am done and i do believe God is ok with this as he has committed adultery. I am sorry for your situation and maybe you should move somewhere else and start anew. email me at ppbcportland at gmail dot com