im 18 now,when i was 11,my dog died,instead of crying like the rest of my family,i stood there looking at them like if they were idiots and i was laughing.i didnt feel that laughing at a death was bad,but my dad got mad at me.about 6 months ago my cousin commited suicide,instead of feeling sadness,i started to laugh at the event.all i said was that he was an fool for commiting suicide.and i just found myself not caring and thinking to myself,why should i care?its not my problem.he killed himself because his mom/my aunt,is dying of cancer,and couldnt deal with it anymore.i just kept laughing to myself on how stupid this entire event was.i didnt even go see my aunt after it happened,on the basis that i simply didnt care and it wasnt my problem.i didnt even go to his funeral.the way i look at,if i wanted to pay him my respects,i would have done it while he was alive.people who dont even talk to you when your alive,and now they are all weeping at your funeral,crying and saying you were a good person.they are all HYPOCRITES!you shouldnt have to wait until someones dead to show your respects.the way i see it,you either liked the person or you dislike them.sorry i got a little off track.anyway,i find myself not caring if my sister or mom were to be killed.say if my mom died in a car crash.instead i feel a little happy about the idea.i wouldnt care,it wouldnt bother me at all,i probably wouldnt even attend the funeral.anyway back to the aunt i was telling you about,she doesnt have much time left,shes already maxed out on her pain meds,but personally i cant wait for it to be done with.first,she could finally just get it done,really she has nothing to live to live for,her son killed himself,shes divorced,and her other kids already have familys of there own,and all the people can finally get over it.then comes the "great awakening".you know, the time where people realize that,life is too short,i have to be a better friend,spend more time with family,and all that garbage.within 2 weeks there back to there old ways.its all a bunch of bull!ive felt this way about death since i was 6 or 7. people think im disturbed when i tell them my view of death.they get outraged for some reason.i dont really care what they think.to me crying about someones death is pointless.tell me,do tears make the person any less dead?will they come back from the dead just because you miss them?people need to be real with themselves.dont get me wrong,i tried to cry,i tried to feel sad about it,i tried to feel a little sad but i couldnt.i simply just dont care.like i said, ive felt this way since i was 6 or7.and the toughts have gotten worse over the years.this isnt a sign of mental illness is it?i have had other symtoms that are presistant since i was a lttle kid.someone please help.so do you think i need to get professional help with this or am i ok?