SElf-esteem might be the issue here even though you say she doesnt appear to have issue with that. However, colostomy is a huge change to adjust to and you have to be 100% comfortable to feel intimate again. I do not know how was you sex life before she has had the colostomy but it is a known fact that women and men who have colostomy in place have no sex drive due to self-esteem and worries connected to the colostomy. I am not sure, hope this helps in any way.

Have you discussed your sexual needs with her and started the conversation about how they're going to meet if she's not interested in sex?

This is a rough one...My husband almost had to have this done 40 years ago...An Internal Medicine physician punctured an inside his anus hemorrhoid to try to relieve it...In this process he cut through the lower intestine...This allowed feces to leak into his stomach cavity...Sometime later a specialist found this problem...He was in surgery the same day...We were lucky...If this happened, it would not have bothered me, however it may have bothered him....

First and foremost, if you love her this should have nothing to do with your marriage...You marry for better or for worse...In my eyes, this is a mute subject...

I agree that it is definitely self-esteem...Until five minutes ago, I never knew where they went...It would have bothered me too...Try awakening her in her genital area...Just caresses....Compare her to a rose...Her's is a delicate place to be in life...You are not helping...

There are other things that she can do to satisfy you...or you can do to satisfy yourself...I believe in time that she will come around...I would try watching Porn...Anything with sexual overtones to remind her that her sexual parts are still alive...She must know that who she was, is still who she is....This is where you come into play....I wish you well....

Caroline