hi everyone - i'm hoping for some male insight!
here are my facts.
i am currently dating my best friend.
we have been together for about 6 months.
before that we were FWB for about a year.
during the FWB phase we had amazing sex!! but he never came- he just eventually would pull out and say it was time for a nap, or go soft and that was that.
we could have sex for hours - it was soo fun - but he still never came.
since we've been together, he has not really wanted to have sex.
at first he said he wanted to make sure it wasn't just about sex - which is why he has backed off of it for awhile
then said he was intimidated by me - that i was a "sex goddess" and he had never been with a woman so into sex.
i don't pressure him because i don't want to give him extra stress but he never comes to me on his own wanting to do it.
i want him sooo bad all the time! at most we would have sex once a week.. and he would never come.
he has been with a LOT of very attractive women (a lot of them asians!) and has previously been very sexual (so he tells me)...
he's told me he just can't have sex like he used to....
this hurts me because i feel like i'm getting whats left of him... when i have so much passion for him!
over a month ago he found out he had chlamydia.. and, therefore, we both took the antibiotics.
last night was the first time we mutually initiated sex in over a month.
which consisted of about 5 minutes with me on top, him flipping me over, then not really being "turned on" anymore.. saying he was tired and cuddling me to sleep.
what i want to know is.....
does this sound like performance anxiety??
or does he have erectile dysfuntion/impotence??
is he a porn addict??
i've brought it up twice with him and asked for the honest truth - and everytime he tells me it has nothing to do with me! at all! (it's really hard for me to beleive that). i'm really shy and i don't want to keep bringing it up but i feel like he still isnt' being honest with me about it....
one night, drunk at his house, i snooped on his computer (ugh :S) and saw a porn site... so he MUST masterbate right? and once... about a year ago, i walked into his room while he was in the shower and heard him "cumming"....
i haven't asked him about the lack of orgasm thing... i feel sooo weird....and dont' want to offend him. I care about him and want to have a healthy sex life - especialyl since i'm a very sexual person. but.... now i just feel like i don't trust him because he's not telling me the whole story?!?!
anyone????????? thank you for any insight you can offer!
Hi there, thank you for posting your question on Ehealthforum. This is not intended as a substitute to visiting your own doctor.
It sounds like your friend has ejaculatory incompetence or difficulty ejaculating in an other's company. Men with this usually have no difficulty when alone masturbating. To overcome this, first of all he would need to want to overcome it. Then you could try to replicate what he does alone masturbating when you are together. He to show you how you how he masturbates and you to help him. Once the jinks is broken you can then move on to ejaculation through intercourse.
You might also benifit from visiting a Sex Therapist. In the meantime of course your own sexual needs should be looked after. Do not blame yourself for this situation. You can between you overcome it.Where ther is a will there is a way.
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