Lack of interest, emotion...anhedonia? Depression?

Hi SBH. I'm a 20 year old male who has had depression/anxiety issues the last year and a half or so. Just so you know, you're not alone in how you feel. I think we're on the same page. I feel low and enjoy keeping myself to myself but it's not how I used to be when I was happier, so I try not to. With the way you described the lack of emotions and feeling numb I think you could be depressed (but I'd suggest speaking to a GP you trust and discussing the way you feel). Also, have you recently stopped doing things you used to enjoy? Like sports, listening to music etc and has the medical side physically stopped you from these things? I'm sorry because I've no idea about the surgery and it's affect. My experience is kind-of in a way similar as I took thyroxine for 3 years odd and ended up coming off it (very long story) the following months I started to get really low but I've had family problems so I'm not sure where it's stemmed from, the physiological side or the mental stress. Do you always feel like you've described as in not getting excited about anything? I've felt these feelings too by the way I'm not trying to be a doctor here. I would like you to know you can gab away on here (about whatever) but I'm sorry I'm not much use for the medical side! Out of interest, who have you spoken to about this?

Ian

Hi there Ian,
thanks for replying...I'm not used to writing on forums and I was a little scared about the outcome of this. Thank you for letting me know I'm not totally alone in all of it...it sounds like we've had some similar issues. My confusion lies mainly in the fact that I really can't pinpoint what the underlying cause might be...whether it's been the ongoing stress in the family/relationship department for the last 10 years and I've just grown so numb that I don't seem to care about anything anymore, or whether the surgery had something to do with a chemical alteration, if that makes sense. The surgery did put me out for about 8 weeks so I wasn't able to be too active, but as soon as the 8 weeks were up I started working out pretty much every day. This year hasn't been too great to me health-wise...I actually got mono a little over a month ago so that put physical activity on halt for a while as well. However, the lack of emotions has been pretty consistent throughout the good times and the bad. I honestly feel like the numbness is a bit of a blessing because it eliminates pain, and I really can't say I've felt depressed (the typical feelings of sadness, hopelessness, loneliness, etc.) It's just also meant that I haven't been able to feel happy about anything. I don't get excited about anything, I don't really relate to people, and I kind of just go through the motions...I have my goals but I'm never really that enthused when I attain them. The worst part of it for me is that I don't want to hurt other people. I feel like in this more "independent state", I actually attract people, but I can't get attached to them on any kind of level. That sounds horrible. I mean that in every situation, friends and family as well as potential romantic relationships. I just don't get any fulfillment out of anyone and like to keep to myself. Does that seem remotely familiar? Oh, and I've only really attempted to talk to 2 people about the situation. One person was my mom...who was the worst option...she's one of the most emotional people I know. Another was one of my best friends who's felt detached and numb for a little while.

Hi SBH,

A lot of what you're saying is totally familiar. I think I might be ahead of what you're feeling but I may be way off the mark so take this with a large pinch of salt! I've basically pushed a lot of caring people away (family, friends) who had good intentions, yet my confidence and possibly anxiety has meant I've not wanted to get involved thinking I'd be hurting them when this was totally contradictory. As a result I've had lower mood and caused myself more stress to the point I never left my own place for months except to go to work. I've never posted online either, if I'm honest I fear rejection and don't like the idea of someone reading this and disliking me through this - and I know logically it's stupid but that's how I am currently. I've struggled at work to relate to people which inevitably has caused more anxiety. What I feel for you is to maybe speak to a professional because it sounds as if you aren't where you want to be and the fact that you came on here for a bit of guidance might suggest you're already looking for answers from a professional. I've met with a number of professionals who have helped in their own way, GP for diagnosis and psychologist for depression. Also try to do things to take your mind off this when you're thinking a bit harder than usual, i've caused myself anxiety (like a broken record here lol) through thinking too much where my problems stemmed from i.e. medical or stress and I never did anything I used to enjoy, to take my mind off of. I hope this is of use to you because I do feel almost everything you have said in your post ring true and sorry for rambling! Fire away any questions,

Ian