I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do now. I live w/ my bf and this past month has been insane-fighting about nothing, snapping at him, crying for no reason, being paranoid/delusional (I know its insane but even now I can't say i'm a 100% sure that he's not hiding a woman in the garage and sneaking out while i'm asleep to do her =/) Jokingly a few weeks ago my bf said i was manic depressive-i said noooo-he said look it up-i did-here i am =/

There's no doubt I am bp my mood swings are insane (rapid cycler-my bf timed one of our phone conversations the other nite) but I have not been officially diagnosed. Should I do that-how should I go about doing that? I have kaiser? Anyways I was wondering if people have tried any particular B vitamins or fish oils that have helped them, so far excercise is barely making a difference for me but then again i just started a regular excercise routine like 3 weeks ago tops-does it take a long time before excercise starts making a more significant impact er is this pretty much it? I noticed keeping myself busy is the most important I have to try not to think about trigger things like my relationship lol.

I really want to get help b/c this relationship is super important to me and I'm hurting/stressing him out so much that he actually had to send me home for a few weeks cuz he couldn't take it anymore-which made things worse but i'm fine now =) lol i've accepted it needed to be done even tho I was really hurt by it but i get it now after reading some other ppls posts about their significant bp others...but of course i thought he wanted to break up and that he didn't love me anymore but i understand its just hard to member that he just needed a break from my crazy I hate hurting him and up till now he was so scared to call cuz i would yell at him and say awful things and I did text terrible stuff to him and I can't take it back i couldn't stop myself and i totally regret it now I'm so glad he understands now that when i get delusional its real to me and i know he's not a bad guy but my crazy takes over and i really believe certain things and its terrible.

GOOD MANIC STATES?....Oh n' also I like happy bp me but after talking to my bf he says he doesn't-mostly cuz he knows that in a lil while I'l be freaking out/screaming and crying. He calls it fake happy me-I didn't even realize that there was a difference between happy bp me and normal happy me. He says I'll get hyper/happy and needy for no reason and that I sometimes i get mad when he tells me to chill or when he doesn't wana bounce around w/ me. I like happy me and I don't think I want to get rid of that I duno why ppl keep saying its actually not good to be manic happy but I don't see the harm I guess its annoying for others i don't see why iuno I don't want drugs that keep me from being happy!! =( I just don't want to get upset/irritated w/ my bf/family for no reason anymore

Anyways yeah help advice...should I see a counselor, should we see a counselor, what natural meds can I take that may help me, excercise foods, sometimes I think its best for me and the ppl I love to not be around eachother HELP anything really THANKS =)