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Just lost my mother

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February 26th, 2012
Hi,,, I am new to this forum after just loosing my mother.. so many thoughts race through my mind.. The would of could of should of and if only loop runs over and over in my mind.. I am the wild child in my family.. they would always say.. no news is good news... I found myself in a bad relationship for 8 years and in that time didn't visit my mother once.. only seeing her for family functions... we live far apart.. but certainly not impossible.... my mother lived for her family.. my brother talked to her every day.. so knowing she had him is a comfort.. but I am beating myself up for not being in her life more... i would of gotten her healthier if I knew how bad she was....
The one comfort is that I was there when she died.. She got put in the hospital right as my plane was landing.. I think she knew it was serious when she saw me walk through the door.. I had to make decisions that no one should make... I choose Hospice and let her go in peace and with no pain.. I second guess it now and once again go into that loop.....
I have to keep saying to myself that I might not of been there when she wanted me but that I was there when she needed me.
It still seems like a crazy dream.. I just can't seem to leave her house and go back to my life. I have animals and a house that friends are taking care of , but need to get back... I just feel sooooo lost and sad... will ever end.. will i ever stop crying...
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First Helper dreamcatcherchris
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dreamcatcherchris
replied March 13th, 2012
I just lost my mother Feb 27th, 2012 and I was my moms primary caretaker and was there for her. It has been two weeks and 1 day and i still cry 20 times everyday. I am asking for answers too. I want to know when i want cry everyday and when this sick lost feeling I have will go away. Goodluck and I am so sorry about your mother, I am sure she knows you loved her.
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EJCHINO
replied May 9th, 2012
Sorry for your loss. I just lost my mom a month ago and im learning that every day tasks and functions are still planned and completed but I have that empty feeling. I know life goes on but man do I miss talking to my mom. My memories of her are wonderful and knowing we had a great relationship helps but its just hard. All we can do is keep them in our hearts. Remember they are always close by!
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Jonoffccsd
replied June 5th, 2012
Loss of mom
So sorry for the loss of your mom. I lost my mom on May 05, 2012. I feel exactly like you do. I have that empty feeling and when I think about my mom my stomach just starts to hurt really bad. I am always crying and it feels as though I can not make it. I was always up under my mom and I would go to see here and just lay in her bed with her every time I visited. If I wasn't over her house I would be on the phone with her. My family says that I am taking it so hard because I am the baby daughter and it is just so very hard. I know we all are born to die and everyone says that it will get better, just remember the good times. I know not to question God, but right now I don't know what to do. I wish I had some very uplifting advise for both of us, because we really need it. All I can do is to continue to pray and to pray for everyone that has lost their mom or a loved one.
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