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Just can't feel happy. Will things ever get better?

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March 17th, 2012
I'll start by introducing myself. My name is zack and I'm 17. The last couple months to a year I've been battling depression. Ive been on Wellbutrin for a little over a month now and I feel like its helped a little. I just don't understand why I feel depressed. I lost a ton of weight so I could feel better about my body image and myself but I still feel just as shitty as I did before. (I lost 75lbs) I look in the mirror and still feel like im fat sometimes. I've never been in a relationship before and I've been wanting one for so long. I see how happy other people are and I just feel like I'm different and I won't ever get to expierience that feeling of having someone special in my life. I'm very shy and my self-esteem has gotten a little better. I like this girl right now that has a boyfriend and I just can't get her out of my head. It's been like this for months and I'm starting to think I have some obsession disorder or something. I haven't felt suicidal in about a month but this current situation just keeps making more depressed. My biggest fear is growing up without anyone. I'm almost 18 and have never even kissed a girl. I feel like something is terribly wrong with me. How can I just feel normal again!? Whatever that is anyway. I keep hearing people say it will get better but it hasn't yet so I'm having trouble believing that crap. Has anyone been in my situation before? Has it gotten better for you at all?
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Oneofus
replied March 18th, 2012
Experienced User
Of courseit can and will get better. You're only 17 and issues such as this obsess you at that age.

Wellbutrin? I wouldn't touch it myself but if it works for you then keep it going. Don't forget to review it with your doc. If it's only part working an increase in dose may be needed.

But I am wary of Wellbutrin. It initially came out a decade or more ago as an anti smoking drug called Zyban which had many bad physical results, heart I think, can't recall exact detail. Google it.

It has been renamed because of that and maybe they've changed the chemical makeup as well but I don't trust such subterfuge as a change of name.

I would suggest you may have some type of eating disorder as well. Talk to a therapist about that as if you've lost 75 lbs you can't still be fat. Maybe some overweight to go but not fat.

Good luck.
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Isitonu33
replied March 18th, 2012
Thank you for your response. I don't think I have an eating disorder. I only feel like I'm fat when I look in the mirror. If I'm in public I don't feel it or at the gym I don't. I am more aware of what I eat now but that's because I just fear gaining weight again. Maybe I will try a different antidepressant when I run out of this one. It is normal to obsess about things or people? I feel like I'm letting it control my life. It doesn't stop me from doing things but it does keep me awake at night.
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Oneofus
replied March 18th, 2012
Experienced User
WHat is "it" you refer to?
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Isitonu33
replied March 18th, 2012
This girl that I really like but can't have. I can't stop thinking about her and I don't know if there is something wrong with me or what. She's been with same guy for months. Every time I think about her I get more depressed. And it's not like I can get away from her because we both work at the same place.
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Oneofus
replied March 18th, 2012
Experienced User
You have a problem mate. She decides who she goes out with, not you.

Frankly you are getting into stalker territory if you can't accept she has chosen her boyfriend and it isn't you.

Get over it, it's an obsession.
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Isitonu33
replied March 18th, 2012
Is it really that serious? It's not like we don't talk and I just watch her from a distance or crap like that. We've hung out once. I try and tell myself that I'm not going to like her but then she gets to me every time. If its as serious as you say it is, what do you suggest I do? I can't nor do I want to quit my job. I enjoy it. Thanks for the response.
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Oneofus
replied March 18th, 2012
Experienced User
There you go. You say you don't watch her from a distance. You hung out once. Yes it's serious so just don't watch her or do change jobs.

That's the beginning you see. "I'm just watching", but then it becomes "I was just passing by" and so on. Give her a break and let her live as she chooses, without your eyes on everything she does.

I'm sure there are more than two people working where you do, right?

You said you can't get her out of your mind and you are depressed. That's serious too. Get it seen to.
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Isitonu33
replied March 18th, 2012
I meant that im not watching her from a distance or studying what she does. I am seeing someone for depression so maybe I'll bring it up. It's not like I like her without talking to her because we do talk and sometimes flirt. I'm just going to take your advice and try and shut her out. Wish me luck because ive tried this before and it hasn't worked yet. Thanks again.
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Oneofus
replied March 18th, 2012
Experienced User
I know you said you're not watching her from a distance. But you raised that as something your are NOT doing which tells me it's something you consider and want to do.

Now you say she flirts with you? But you've only hung out once? Are you misreading signals from her?
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Isitonu33
replied March 18th, 2012
No, I have not wanted to follow her and watch her from a distance. I just used that as an example of stalker behavior. I swear I thought there were signs. We always make eye contact when talking, she brushes my arm sometimes or will playfully hit me. I don't know if she's intentionally doing this or what. I feel like she at least somewhat likes me. I mean she gave me her number and we hung out. I don't think I could do that if I didn't like that person.
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Oneofus
replied March 19th, 2012
Experienced User
Look,

Just act normal and be a friend. Stop looking for somethng that isn't there. It cannot be if she has a botfriend? Right? Enough already.

What is clear is that you do not suffer depression. You haven't mentioned it, symptoms, doctors, therapists, meds, anything depression related since you used the words "depression" and "Suicidal" in your post. My belief is that was atention seeking else depression would be your problem, not some girl.

Just leave off mate. Go see a counsellor or something and ask about the eating disorder that is apparent if you still thnk you're fat. That's exactly the behaviour of those with bulimia.

This forum is for depression. Actually having and suffering it unfortunately. I think you have misused the terms for attention. Shame.
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Isitonu33
replied March 19th, 2012
Well I did notice there was a better place for this after I made the thread and it wasn't for attention, it's something that was getting at me. I just said I was seeing someone for depression because I was about ready to end it a month and half ago. I don't have an eating disorder. I don't puke up food or starve myself. Thanks for the insight "mate" I guess next time I will look at all forums before I post at one in which I believe I'm suffering in. That way I don't piss off people such as yourself. Thanks for the help "mate."
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Oneofus
replied March 19th, 2012
Experienced User
You don't have to pukeup or starve yourself to have an eatng disorder. I did not say you were bulimic where that does happen. It was your own comment about looking in a mirror and still thinking you were fat that clicked that bulb on "Mate".

You used this forum as you have just said yourself when you said you noticed a better place for it. Why don't you go there?
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Isitonu33
replied March 19th, 2012
I don't know how to move my thread, I am on my iPhone so maybe it's a mobile version or something. I will relocate to that forum instead. Thanks
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Oneofus
replied March 19th, 2012
Experienced User
You ask the moderators.
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dragoshi
replied July 11th, 2012
Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.
Hey kid, sorry Oneofus got all high and mighty on you; forum rules aside, we're all people looking for help in a world that specializes in making us feel unhappy. I have a similar story to yours (now I'm 23), and this link let's me self-cure. Have faith in your will power, and remember how awesome life was before this slump. Then vow to get out of this hole you're in. You said you lost 75 lbs, which takes dedication! Use that determination to mentally heal and be the hero of your life. Good luck pal!
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Randomly
replied July 12th, 2012
Oneofus do you just get off by putting people down who already feel down. You don't have to post a thing, nobody is forcing you and I don't think anybody want to read your garbage.
First the meds he is using isn't good enough, then his problems aren't the right kind, and then he isn't using the right thread. Get over yourself.
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