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jealousy Posted: 05-02-08 10:18am
Ok, i am talking to a guy that i go to
school with, but we are not in a serious
relationship cause we both feel like right
now is not the time. what i mean by
talking is, we hang out at school (hold
hands sumtimes, hug, and before we go home
we kiss.), we hang out outside of school
mostly on wknd & spend hours on the fne
together throughout the wk. So were
pretty much going out, but its not really
serious..... Just wanted to make that
clear. Aywys, I have noticed that we are
both jealous... Ive always noticed he is
jealous even when we were jus friends. It
dosnt bother me cause he dosnt take it too
far. Hes only said anythin about it like
2 or 3 time, but you can easily tell by
his reaction that he get jealous if
another guy comes up to me and hugs me or
talks to me... Now here is the thing that
my post is mostly about.....
ME! He is a tall 6'4", fit, built,
popular black guy and in my book he is
really sexy! Well i get so jealous when
girls flirt with him, or he's talking to a
girl and she makes him smile and laugh. O
gosh it makes me jealous. I have never,
never said anything to him about it, cause
im jus not that kinda person and he never
reallys goes out of line, but a couple
time i think he knows i got jealous cause
i just got really quiet and didnt want to
talk. He is also a big flirt with
everyone, its just his personality. I for
real HATE when girls are flirting with
him..... Idk, I really care about him & I
just feel like he belongs to me & i dnt
want no1 else to have him...
So i want to know have any of you girls
ever felt this way with your bfs and how
did you control it and is this normal?
Thanks for any replys.
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Rosie H
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Posted: 05-02-08 16:21pm
So are you boyfriend and girflfriend?
Isnt that serious to where you are only
with each other? If you were only dating
then you both could see who ever you
wanted to see.
But how old are you? Are you still in high
school?
If you are boyfriend and girlfriend then
neither of you should be flirting with
anyone else. Or you need to make it known
that you are a couple. That way all the
other girls and guys know that you are
taken. Its natural to get jealous but you
need to learn to control it. As long as
hes not doing anything then dont worry
about it. Cause a good looking guy or girl
will always have others checking then out.
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Aunt WeeWee
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Posted: 05-03-08 19:08pm
We are boyfriend & girlfriend. To me
we are in a serious relationship but when
we first started talking he said he didnt
want a serious relatoinship right now,
cause he has his football career he is
trying to concentrate on right now, he is
trying to get a football scholarship &
he take it very serious! Yes we are still
in high school, were both 17, Im a senior
& he's a Junior. We do make it known
that we are together, i have people come
up 2 me everyday telling me that we make a
cute couple! I know we shouldnt be
flirting. I dnt flirt cause im veri happy
with him & i dnt want no1 else. Like
i said he is a flirty person, so I kno he
flirts, but i hope he dnt mean anything by
it. It just makes me so mad when other
girls flirt with him and try to make him
pay attention to them. It happens
everyday & i feel like i could kill
someone! Its mostly black girls, cause
almost all the black girls @ our school
have a prob with us being together, cause
hes black & im white........
Thanks for the reply!
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Rosie H
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Joined: 11 Jun 2007 Posts: 1079 Location: Phoenix, AZ, USA
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Posted: 05-08-08 14:30pm
Well the only solution would be to let
everyone know you are together. Is because
of the black/white thing?
No matter where you go there is still
people out there that are recist and
people that will object to your
relationship. It sucks but thats the world
for you. but who cares...your happy
together and thats all that matters.
but until all these girls know about you
they keep trying to get him...and im sure
he likes the attention.
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Aunt WeeWee
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Posted: 05-09-08 13:33pm
We are very happy together... He lets
people know we are together. The other
day, i was testing him to see what he
would do. I was coming down the hall
& this girl was standing infront of
him talking to him, but it was like she
was all up on him, and there was also 3
other girls around him, so i walked around
her & came by his side, beside another
girl, didnt say anythin, just waiting to
see what he would do, & i was so happy
& proud of him, cause he reached
around tha girl that was beside him and
he put his arm around me & pulled me
up against him & kissed me on my
forehead. Then ended the conversation
with her, so we could have a few mins
together before another class started.. It
sucks cause we only have 1 class together,
but most of our classes are close so we
can see each other before and after.
Aywys, im tryin to control this whole
jealousy thing. Its jus hard sometime.
His ex which is black found out he is with
a white girl & now she is trying to
get back with him. Really makes me mad,
but i trust him, so im not worried. I
know how a lot of people are about black
& whites together, most of my family
dont approve of it, but i dont care. Im
happy and I wouldnt change who im with for
the world.
Well thanks for you replys!
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Aunt WeeWee
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Posted: 05-13-08 10:13am
Ok, now i have a reason to be jealous, but
mostly i have a reason to be mad.......
A couple days ago, I was walking to class
(a class that i have with my bf) and he
was standing at the classroom door with
his back towards me. I guess he didnt
know I was behind him. Well he had his
hand on another girls butt.... Omg, I got
heated. I just stood there, then someone
told him i was behind him and he tryed to
play it off. It almost cost our
relationship. We faught about it all that
class period. Now i feel like i cant
trust him. I just think, that if he has
the nerve to do something like that right
before a class that we have together, then
what does he do when im nowhere around? I
just dont kno, i care about him so much
and I dont want us to break up...
Any advice from anyone would be a lot of
help.......
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Maddie34
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Posted: 05-13-08 10:29am
Try not fighting about it. Sit down in a
setting other than a loud, busy school
hallway and talk about how you feel and
have a good talk about your relationship.
A classroom is really not a place to talk
about relationship problems, you have an
audience and nothing ever gets settled the
way it could have in private. Do you see
eachother out of school?
You say he's a flirty person and wasn't
interested in a serious relationship. I
would certainly ask just what he wants to
get out of your relationship with him
then.
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Rosie H
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Posted: 05-13-08 12:56pm
Break up with him. His hands were on
another girl. Thats really all you need.
And when your not around hes probably all
over other girls. His actions prove it.
Sorry you had to go through that. I know
how painful it is to see the man you care
about with someone else. But dont be
blind, see it for what it was and move on.
If hes done it once he will do it again.
Hes young and in high school and probably
doesnt want anything serious....hes proven
that by touching someone else.
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Fairy*Godmother
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You asked! Posted: 05-13-08 13:21pm
You are a senior.......you are graduating
this year.... this leaves him behind,
because he is a junior. Lets just say you
two make it through the rest of this
school semester, then summer......whats up
for next year when you are not there to
SEE ALL AND HEAR ALL??????????? he's a
flirt. And, if you logically see it for
the way it is....if you were in a serious
relationship. neither one of your should
have your hand on anyone elses
butt.............Sounds like a JOCK PLAYA
to me........I'd say keep up your guard to
protect your heart.........its gonna get
broken if you let it!
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Maddie34
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Posted: 05-13-08 13:23pm
Well, he told her he didn't want anything
serious.
I'm just not sure exactly what the
relationship is, what is being serious if
not being considered boyfriend and
girlfriend in highschool?
It just seems like he's been pretty
upfront with her. If you don't want to
break up then you have to make sure you
two are on the same page. If you're
together then you're together. Make sure
he gets what being together means to you.
And make sure you know what he's thinking.
I guess in my mind, serious for a high
school relationship is being boyfriend and
girlfriend.
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Aunt WeeWee
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Posted: 05-13-08 13:37pm
Maddie34
wrote:
Try not fighting about it.
Sit down in a setting other than a loud,
busy school hallway and talk about how you
feel and have a good talk about your
relationship. A classroom is really not a
place to talk about relationship problems,
you have an audience and nothing ever gets
settled the way it could have in private.
Do you see eachother out of school?
You say he's a flirty person and wasn't
interested in a serious relationship. I
would certainly ask just what he wants to
get out of your relationship with him
then.
Sometimes we ride together either he will
drive or I will drive and we usually see
each other every wknd and sometimes a
couple times a wk we will hand out after
school, get something to eat, etc. The
day this happened we both had drove, so
when I got home I waited for him to call
me, but he didn't, so finally about 11pm I
called him and he said he had been waiting
for me to call him and he always calls me
first. I hardly ever have to call him. We
talked about it, but I never really got
anything out of it. he just kept saying
sorry and he was just playing around with
tha girl. I asked him how would he feel
if he saw me doing that to another guy.
He wouldnt answer me though.
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Aunt WeeWee
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Posted: 05-13-08 13:42pm
Rosie H
wrote:
Break up with him. His hands
were on another girl. Thats really all you
need. And when your not around hes
probably all over other girls. His actions
prove it.
Sorry you had to go through that. I know
how painful it is to see the man you care
about with someone else. But dont be
blind, see it for what it was and move on.
If hes done it once he will do it again.
Hes young and in high school and probably
doesnt want anything serious....hes proven
that by touching someone
else.
The thought of breaking up with him came
to mind, and I do wonder what he does when
Im not around. Your right it is painful.
That day I went home and cryed for hours.
It would just be difficult leaving him
right now, cause i would be heart broken
and I have so much going on the next
couple wk like Prom, graduation, then im
going to NY for a week and I feel like if
we were to break up right now, i wouldnt
be able to enjoy myself like i should.
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Maddie34
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Posted: 05-13-08 14:02pm
Ok, did you ask just what he wanted out of
this relationship? What does he define as
serious? What does he think being
boyfriend and girlfriend meant? You can't
ask questions like "Well, what if I did
that?" What on is that going to solve?
What do you get out of that question? It
gives him the opportunity to keep
apologizing. Ask questions and if he can't
give you answers other than a barely
audible sorry then maybe you should
rethink being with him. If you're
together, I would really hope you are able
to communicate your simple expectations in
your relationship.
Everything you said about who calls who
and when? A relationship isn't a game. If
you want to talk then call. Its as simple
as that.
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Aunt WeeWee
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Posted: 05-14-08 09:43am
Maddie34
wrote:
Ok, did you ask just what he
wanted out of this relationship? What does
he define as serious? What does he think
being boyfriend and girlfriend meant? You
can't ask questions like "Well, what if I
did that?" What on is that going to solve?
What do you get out of that question? It
gives him the opportunity to keep
apologizing. Ask questions and if he can't
give you answers other than a barely
audible sorry then maybe you should
rethink being with him. If you're
together, I would really hope you are able
to communicate your simple expectations in
your relationship.
Everything you said about who calls who
and when? A relationship isn't a game. If
you want to talk then call. Its as simple
as that.
Thanks for your advice! Im going to
seriously talk to him tonight and get all
of this situated and find out exactly how
he feels. I know if i dont, were not
going to be together much longer, cause we
are getting agravated and frustrated with
each other tha past couple days. So im
goin to his house so we can set down and
talk about this face to face. If things
dont go well and if he dont talk to me and
let me in, then I guess that means
goodbye. and thats the last thing I
want...
I know a relationship is not a game.
But you know when your young and when
someone you really care about calls you,
you get butterflies and smile, plus he has
his own ringtone and i love to her the
phone ring when he calls!
Aywys, thanks again!
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Aunt WeeWee
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Re: You asked! Posted: 05-14-08 09:47am
Fairy*Godmother
wrote:
You are a senior.......you
are graduating this year.... this leaves
him behind, because he is a junior. Lets
just say you two make it through the rest
of this school semester, then
summer......whats up for next year when
you are not there to SEE ALL AND HEAR
ALL??????????? he's a flirt. And, if you
logically see it for the way it is....if
you were in a serious relationship.
neither one of your should have your hand
on anyone elses butt.............Sounds
like a JOCK PLAYA to me........I'd say
keep up your guard to protect your
heart.........its gonna get broken if you
let it!
I know, I think about that all tha time
and I know theres nothing I can do about
it. Im going to find out how he really
feels about me tonight and take this whole
situation from there... Thanks for the
advice.
|
Maddie34
Moderator
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Posted: 05-14-08 10:58am
I know the feeling when the guy you like
calls and you just get excited, but he
deserves that feeling too you know?
Relationship is two way, you call
sometimes and he calls sometimes. But you
should certainly call if you need to talk
about something. He's not a mind reader
Write down some questions to ask before
you go to talk to him. You don't need to
take the list with you but it will be
easier to remember that way. In my
experience, guys don't just open up so you
need to ask really good questions to get
him to talk.
Hope everything goes well!
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Aunt WeeWee
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Posted: 05-14-08 13:04pm
Thanks Maddie34! I will write down some
questions. I just left class with him and
let him know that i have to talk to him
about something serious and I need him to
be 100% honest. So hopefully everthing
will go good! Ill let you know tomorrow!
Thanks again!
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Maddie34
Moderator
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Posted: 05-14-08 13:20pm
Sheesh! Do you have a computer in every
classroom?
Hope everything works out!
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Aunt WeeWee
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Posted: 05-16-08 10:01am
Ok, sorri it took me another day to reply,
I was realli busy yesterday! and yea, i
have 2 computer classes and I always get
on ehealth when Im done with my work!
Aywys, so instead of me going to his
house, he came to mine and we talked about
everything! To make it short; he said he
realli cares about me and he didnt mean to
hurt me and he was ready to make the
committment and be in a serious
relationship. I told him if he really
didnt want to be with me then we could
just end it, but he said thats the last
thing he wanted.... By his reaction i
could tell he wasnt lieing and even though
this is only the second day since he's
told me that, I can see an improvement on
his effort. So
everything went well! Just hope it stays
that way and this is the only 2nd chance
im giving him, if he messes up this time,
im done. I truely care about him, but I
cant keep gettin hurt over and over by the
same person. I went through that for 3
yrs in a past relationship and I wont let
it happen again.
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Schizophreniahealth
This page was last updated on June 11, 2008
Omg, I got
heated. I just stood there, then someone
told him i was behind him and he tryed to
play it off. It almost cost our
relationship. We faught about it all that
class period. Now i feel like i cant
trust him. I just think, that if he has
the nerve to do something like that right
before a class that we have together, then
what does he do when im nowhere around? I
just dont kno, i care about him so much
and I dont want us to break up...
So
everything went well! Just hope it stays
that way and this is the only 2nd chance
im giving him, if he messes up this time,
im done. I truely care about him, but I
cant keep gettin hurt over and over by the
same person. I went through that for 3
yrs in a past relationship and I wont let
it happen again.
