My boyfriend has issues with trust and insecurity. He was cheated on in the past, and hasn't gotten over that loss of trust. He's an officer in the Army, and will be leaving in a few months for Iraq, so he's paranoid that I'll find somebody else in the year that he'll be gone. I really do love him, and I see a future with him, we've talked about marriage, and I'm just NOT going to throw that away. I wouldn't even consider cheating on him, and I tell him this constantly.

Tiny things set him off. If I say "hi" to one of his soldiers, if I talk about any guys in my college classes or something, I went to the movie with a girl friend and her boyfriend. He bought my ticket, and my boyfriend got mad when he found out. He gets so irrationally upset before I have a chance to explain myself. And really, there's nothing to explain, I take being faithful very seriously. I mean it when I say I love him, and only him. I don't even think about or look at other guys, but there's just no way for me to convince him of this. He gets frustrated when I try to talk about it, and he threatens to not come over for the weekend (we live an hour apart, so most of our visits are weekend visits) or as soon as he gets agitated, he goes and sleeps on the couch or something. He KNOWS that pushes my buttons, and I don't like confrontations either, so I just avoid talking about it.

Perhaps the most disheartening thing he said, was "When I'm in Iraq for a year, the only thing I can do is expect the worst, and hope for the best." As in, he's EXPECTING me to cheat. I'm guilty until proven innocent. I love him, but I don't know how much more of this I can take. How can their be a relationship with no trust?

Also, he's not a very affectionate person. We have a great sex life, and we'll kiss and cuddle (I always initiate it). He seems to have a hard time opening up to me face to face. He sends me very sweet text messages, and emails, and when he thinks I'm sleeping he'll whisper "I love you" and kiss my hair. But when it's the two of us face to face, I'm the one carrying the conversations, I initiate cuddling and such (he's actually asked me to be MORE enthusiastic with my affection), and he just acts disinterested. This is frustrating, but as soon as we're apart, he sends me the most romantic loving messages.

All I know to do is to reassure him constantly that I love him. Is there any way I can save this??