I'll try to keep it short. Maybe then I'll get more advice.
I was home from school for a week (spring break). We never really hung out before, but we were together that entire week. He finally asked me out that Friday. It was great! I went back to school and he came down the next day. It was crazy. He always wanted to see me, we texted all the time, talked everyday. He drove 2 hrs each way most weekends to see me or bring me home. I stayed over at his house all the time.
Our relationship was a little physical. No sex, and my bra/underwear was always on. His never was. But we did other stuff. I know that creates a bond between people. But I'd never touch him again if it meant we had another chance.
Four months ago, we were on the phone. We were crying about something and I stupidly asked if he was breaking up with me. I expected him to say no, but he said yes. He messaged me on facebook saying I never did anything wrong, he just needed time to figure out his life, I was his best friend, and he wants to be happy all the time. We continued to text.
I saw him a month later. I could barely look at him without crying. I couldnt break. I felt empty inside. He seemed upset, but didnt want to try us again just yet. He asked me to wait.
I went back to school. This is now two months later. I stopped all contact with him for another month. Now three months later. I called him to figure out where things were. He wasnt interested in a relationship.
Now four months later. I wrote him a letter explaining everything I was feeling. I figured if he still cared this would be when he came back. He didnt. We texted a little about it. He's scared of feeling depressed again (he was depressed when we were together). I hope he doesnt think it was me. Crazy thing is, he always seemed so happy. And I knew him. I knew he was depressed, just not suicidal like he says now.
So its been four months. I still cant get over him. I've read a lot of stuff about getting over your first love. He talked about marrying me. Thats hard to get over. Yes, I am young. But I was in love with him. I want him to be happy. But I know I make him happy. I think he's in a rut. I want to support him. The flipside is he did all this on purpose. He admitted he was trying to make me hate him so it'd be easier for me. I have hated him at times, but only because he was close enough to love.
I dont trust people. I trusted him. Im doubting my ability to judge others now. I dont see anyone else in my future, just him. I'd wait for him. I'm going abroad for a couple months. I want him to come back to me after that. I dont know where things are. I can tell he still cares. But he's lying to me about how he feels. I dont know why.
I have more details, but I thought just an outline might be easier. Ask if you want them. I've noticed some other posters having the same problems with moving on. Is there a chance he'll come back? My future seems hopeless without him now. I though he'd always be there. I dont want to think about me or him with someone else.
grr. ive heard that so many times. im trying that. but i dont think he'd make the first move to come back. im afraid he'll write me off as a time when he was unhappy and wont take a chance on me. id wait forever. but i know i shouldn't. im afraid i might have come off as annoying these last few months
Yes, Im 20. So's he. Problem is, his parents and all his friends got/are getting married young. He almost got married at 19. We're not talking anymore, but I hope he knows Im here for him. I tried to tell him that.
It is really hard to move especially when you loved that person so much. But it is the right and the best thing that you can do. You can forget him easier by not thinking of him or make yourself busy. Life must go on. You are too young and I think you can find someone better than him. By the way, try online dating, there are so many dating site where you can choose and join to find your new match or just gain new friends. I hope this one can help you. Good luck!