I've been having a hard time moving on after a 4 year relationship. I was dating this beautiful girl for 4 years. We met a work. She was in a rocky relationship and fell out of love with her very first boyfriend. She admitted having feelings for me and left her boyfriend to be with me. Things progressed quickly and we fell in love. Everything was perfect. We continued working together for the next 3 1/2 years. We both still lived at home with our parents and even attended the same college. I graduated college in 2009 and she graduated the following year.
Things started falling apart the last year while she was still in school. We had broken up and gotten back together 3 times. It was always me who kept crawling back to her. She was a very high maintenance and could be very difficult at times. I still loved her though. It always seemed like I cared about her more than she ever cared about me. We broke up at the end of March because her best friend who also worked with us would repeat things I said and twist it around to make me look bad to her. I got tired of her believing her friend over me.
I tried to win her back, but it just wasn't working like it had in the past. Her graduation was coming up and I made things right between us so i could attend. At her graduation, she treated me like a friend. I placed my hand on her thigh during dinner and she just pushed it away. I brought her flowers and a card to show her that I still cared. The next day I texted her letting her know how much it meant to me to be there for her graduation. She replied saying that it meant alot to her as well, but was disappointed that I didn't give her a graduation gift! I was shocked and hurt. It made me feel like the gift was the only thing that mattered to her. I told her I didn't know what to do because we were not together. I went out the following day and bought a diamond necklace. I gave it to her one night after work and she said it still didn't change thing between us. I told a few people at work about what happened and it got back to her. She said she couldn't forgive me because I made all the people at work think she was a gold digger.
We continued to work together for about a month. I did everthing wrong to get her back. I called her, texted, used facebook, and even tried to talk about things at work. All this did was push her further away. I even got another job hoping that not working together would help. It didn't. She moved out of her parents house and into an apartment at the end of June. I was so worried that someone else would be taking my place.
In July I wrote her a message saying that I apologized for the way I handled things and that our situation had changed me. She responded with "it's too late. I'm trying to find myself. I want to date other people and I think you should too." This hurt so bad. I continued to try and talk to her. In another message she told me that she was seeing someone now, and to respect that. She block my number and my facebook account.
One day I showed up to my old job to see her after work. She was like " what are you doing here". I told her I just wanted to talk. Once again I told her that I was sorry for everything I did wrong, and I just wanted to make things right again. We talked for about 20 min, but it still didn't work. She showed no real interest. I realized then that there was no need to chase her anymore. It's just a shame because we were best friends, and I never wanted us to grow apart. I feel if she had given me that one last chance everything would have been ok. Honestly I'm not totally sorry for the way I acted because at least she knows I cared and tried my hardest to save the relationship.
It's a shame because I really loved that girl. I was even planning on proposing after her graduation if things were different between us. It's been almost a month of no contact, and I'm still struggling. I can't really focus on my new job, I've been throwing up after I eat lunch. It's just tough to know that she's moving on and seeing someone else while I'm still unhappy with what happened between us. I was blaming myself for the downfall of our relationship. I'm starting to realize that I was a good boyfriend to her and it wasn't all my fault. She was my everything and now it's hard to believe that she's probably never coming back. I really don't feel like dating again, but i think I'm should. It's hard because I feel like I no one will ever compare to her. I want to move forward with my life but it just isn't happening. I know I need to be a man, but this girl really got to me.
Hey man this sounds very similar to what happened to me... It sucks. Except she was like a year an a half younger than me. I came crawling back to her every time as well, we dated for almost 2 years in college. We broke up 3 times, the 3rd time was for good and there was ZERO Closure. We weren't good for each other and looking back on it I am kind of glad it didn't work out. The kicker is she decided to put a restraining order on me instead of telling me IT IS OVER. So that screwed me up even more, because I had to spend a night in jail (Which was BS) and the charges were dropped and the order is over. The mental effects of it are that I don't trust girls, and don't treat them like people all the time. Ironically I have been with more girls because I guess I'm kinda a jerk now.. But I don't really try to be a sleeze bag. I don't ever want to talk to her again but part of me misses her everyday. It is so confusing and hard because she treated me so bad when breaking up with me (wasn't really a break up).. But I would say about every day or every other day I think about it since it all happened which was like 9 months ago now. Right after it happened I dropped about 15 pounds and was very depressed. I played Rugby in college so you can imagine that I am not that sensitive but I cried because of her, a lot, just about every night for 2 weeks after it happened. Its normal to care so much for someone and to have it happen to you just makes you more of a man. Learn from it and make the best of life.
Anyway keep your head up. There's someone out there for you. She isn't it, even if you think about her just realize that YOU have to be happy. Good luck
One quick comment.....you can't stereotype all women....there are some who will use and abuse you...that happens on both sides of the fence....however there are good hearted people out there....I know this first hand as I was in a relationship with someone who has Bio-polar/Borderline Personality Disorder and believe me when I say it was hell on me. Hang in there....one will eventually come your way!
i have a similar problem been broken up with her for 2 months now we only dated for 3 months but the love felt so real.. she said she is confuse and isnt ready for a relationship so i tried everything i could too work things out but things never work out.. ive been struggling for 2 months and yesterday i heard she is now dating somebody that i know.. that really put a dagger to my heart i am even hurt more now need sum help
There is no easy way to let go of someone you loved with all your heart. I know this first hand. If you truly love someone with all your heart.....you will always love that person no matter what the circumstances were and/or is. The best you can do is to distance yourself from that person so you can start to heal. It will take sometime.....and during this time you should surround yourself with friends and family. One question you need to ask yourself....if she is already seeing someone.....does she really know how to love someone? The person I was involved with did not know how to love herself....let alone anyone else. If you answer yes to this question then you are far better off having this person out of your life for good because people within this category will hurt you over and over....again and again. I found this out the hard way.