You don't have a problem per say.
It would seem that you are becoming more aware of certain things only.
And reality is much stranger than fiction.
We are born out of reality, all the time thinking that it is real, and then when some stumble upon(or so it seems) reality, they are the ones that are called crazy.
Im sorry about it if it feels bad, but we are soulless biological organisms, except we are called souls, our bodies are souls, and they are actually quite the mystery and magical, not to say they are a good thing, but quite a mystery and magical.
However, we are actually no different than a roach, a cow, a cricket, an amoeba in this manner.
However again, being a biological organism is probably way more than we think actually, it would seem that there is a source that gave way to all of this that we see and it is all made out of that, quite possibly making everything more alive than we could ever imagine right?
This is why the shaman considered everything to have a soul, or be alive so to speak, because like us it is alive in a way.
You are waking up, sorry, it's a hard thing to do. But once you realize that you aren't going to die it gets better, the world becomes your playground, and yes, it is as they say, you can pretty much do anything at all.
Pain can become your plaything, not something that you are afraid of, and it will not affect you whatsoever. They can sit out in the wilderness and dance and sing and play for several hours, and then a man after working himself up can ingest hot searing coals and it does not harm him.
We truly do have great potential.
And you are showing that im afraid. So whats to do or think about? The easy way? The hard way? Blindness or Sight?
You have no choice, if you didn't realize you were already on a path, and contrary to popular belief you can't get off of it. But don't be afraid, the path goes to where we've always wanted to go and be doesn't it, they all do actually, it just takes some longer and some shorter.
The waiting man, thats hilarious, perhaps he should stop waiting, I mean, he hates to wait. He should be more of a maniac, which is actually what it takes to have fun in our situation. The waiting man could take a page out of the maniacs book.
Although the maniac could also use a couple of pages out of the waiting man's.
We are in a book, and it's already been written, and realizing this is quite the feeling. Like peering out of it and seeing the one writing your story huh?
It seems to be genetic huh? Makes no sense that it would be whatsoever. What do they follow certain families around or something?