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Q: Is this relationship right?
asked by: onlyme14 on August 21st, 2008
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
The only reason I ask this question is because I'm scared.
I've never had a real relationship before I had met him. I was dating this guy for about a month that wasn't really going anywhere when I met him. The first time I met him, we clicked like that. We'd talk on the phone all the time, and I started to grow to like him. And I broke up with my boyfriend and he asked me out, which is where we started.
I had never felt comfortable with guys before. It was weird but I would never hang out with a guy alone at his house but he was so different. And I could tell him everything and anything. He was the first guy I wasn't afraid to commit too. We'd fight, of course, over stupid things but we never gave up on eachother. After 6 months of dating, we had sex. And it didn't ruin our relationship at all, but seemed to make everything stronger. I felt vulnerable, but he didn't change. He was still that guy, the one that would tell me I was beautiful right after I got out of the shower and had no make up on. He'd tell me he loved me at the most random moments, sometimes I'll just be with my friends and I'd get a text from him telling me that he wants to be with me forever, that he loves me. And we don't have sex anymore because we're waiting until I get birth control. HE wants to wait.

We talk about our future and he gets really emotional. He cries because he wants to be with me, and I cry too.
So, I guess your asking.. what's the problem?
I'm scared that something is going to go wrong. I'm afraid for how it's going to feel if and when we do end our relationship. We've been close to it a couple of times and each time it tears me apart. I love him, but I'm so scared. I don't know how to stop thinking about it. I have never felt this way about another guy. hellp mee
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meblonde01 replied on August 21st, 2008
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Hon, there are NO quarantee in life. Just love and enjoy the time for now! Don't ruin the feeling by worring about what may or may not happen. Live in the present, not the past or the fulture, because you have no control over either.
Love, live and be happy.
And if it doesn't work out. well, you will be hurt but the hurt is worth the memories. Smile But it sounds like you both love each other very much and love like that usually last!
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worrywart01 replied on August 21st, 2008
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
as meblonde01 said...the future is never certain..things may work out the way you wish, they may not....my boyfriend and i have been together for alittle over 2 years now..we've came close to breaking up a few times and actually did break up once and got right back together..the point is..you cant worry about what will and wont happen..enjoy every day you have with each other..and if its meant to be then you'll work through the troubling times and if you make it through those then you're relationship will grow...you get what you put in in a relationship and it sounds like both of you are very in love and willing to work things out for now...so dont worry about it!
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christopherinpool replied on August 27th, 2008
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
I've been in two Long relationships and am in the process of divorce.Yes you will still love him because your love is part of who You are and has nothing to do with him. As for happiness,you can't make anyone happy and perhaps you married for the wrong reasons.Happiness comes from within and you are not responsible ultimately for his happiness. 2 long term relationships have shown me that,you cannot change another persons decision to be happy or un happy and he is ultimately responsible for that.We are only to support and encourage one another in Love and be patient and understanding in difficult times for one another.As for the vehicle,in all fairness,he bought the car perhaps assuming you were in the marriage as his wife and as you may desire to divorce him,he is giving you the option of putting the vehicle in your own name which is a reasonable request even though you don't see it that way.He should not have to pay for a vehicle for a woman who does not want to stay with him.That is the reason he bought it for you.Since you are in school and working full time ,and only married for just two years,perhaps you were or have been so preoccupied with all the school work and job,school ,that you made little time for the relationshp? This seems like a good possibility.Sometimes there is so much pressure to achieve so much when you are young,you forget that good relationships are not always about fun,sometimes,they take work and sacrifice and without that,there is no relationship,One option may be You might want to consider,holding on awhile longer to finish your college degree,attend counseling with him, and if neccesary,ditch the part time job temporarily for the relationship and hang in there till you have your degree.If nothing improves,You will be able to get a better job and go it on your own and get your own car.Life is hard and no one ever said it would be easy but every relationship has tradeoffs.The cost of love is not cheap but in the long run,It is worth it.Love is patient and if you are not,you will need it to endure the difficulties of life.That is a lesson we all need to aquire and the sooner the better to avoid frustration..Hope this may bring you some insight.....Rose...........

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