Hello all -- I'm new to the forum and I have had a problem that has plagued me since November of 2005, and I'm unsure whether this is some form of PTSD.
Beginning at age 10, I began to develop a need to confess to my mom in order to get rid of guilt I felt upon doing certain things I knew I was not allowed to do. A simple example was playing a certain video game, for example. A more extreme example that came shortly later was when I was convinced I tried to 0473. Now I believe that element is OCD but this part I'm going to go into I'm thinking *could* be PTSD:
Starting in high school I started to get more into my sexuality and sexual feelings and began to explore certain websites for unique sexual interests I had. Early in high school I confessed several times to doing so to get rid of the guilt I developed. Junior and senior year (2004-05) of high school I did it again: went to a website then confessed to my mom.
Since the junior year incident, I have had a strong drop of sex drive, and worse: I feel convoluted emotions when I start to feel aroused, and head tension. I think I feel some very strong anger. There were also times I would panic that I would have "confessing guilt", then oftentimes I would feel recurring head tension around that trigger object and the complete lack of ability to enjoy myself or do anything when I feel that way. I also developed -- in the last few years -- extreme inability to open up to my mom and other family members now, and have strong rage at them most of the time.
This has been going on for years now, and destroyed my senior year of high school, greatly damaged my college experience, and is currently greatly damaging my 20s. I want to cure this sometime before I'm old, outdated, and filled with regret that this has destroyed my life. Is this PTSD?